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Who does your babysitting when family can't?


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#26 Arthur or Martha

Posted 09 December 2011 - 08:24 AM

If the rest of my family is not welcome then I'm not welcome.

Margaret

#27 Haitch

Posted 09 December 2011 - 08:58 AM

another one here whose family lives out of town. my mum lives 3 hours away, my in-laws also 3 hours away in the opposite direction. I have a sister who lives around the corner but she has a life as a very vibrant and single 26 year old and I can't ask her all the time.

While the problem hasn't actually occured yet as DS is only 9 months old, it certainly will. I've thought of possibilities - friends and neighbours etc but haven't had to use them yet.

I think the Babysitting Group was a great idea and think I might float that idea with the mums in my mums group.

#28 Azadel

Posted 09 December 2011 - 09:05 AM

QUOTE (ambwrose @ 09/12/2011, 09:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If the rest of my family is not welcome then I'm not welcome.

Margaret


I am not saying this to be facetious but am merely curious - you honestly have no desire to do anything that isn't child friendly (theatre, M rated movie, cocktail bar, whatever) until your kids are old enough to take care of themselves?

#29 Chaton

Posted 09 December 2011 - 02:00 PM

We are so very lucky.  My husbands parents love to mind our son, and our friends who have a bub the same age are often happy to and we return the favour.

But we have another non-family, non-friend option.  A carer in our sons former daycare left and slipped us her number if we ever needed a babysitter.  I'd have no problem paying her to mind him if needed, as she knew him and has lots of experience with babies his age, she's first aid qualified for young children and he is comfortable with her.  We've not used her yet though.

#30 libbylu

Posted 09 December 2011 - 11:18 PM

My mum is champion babysitter #1.  If it's an important occasion we book her well in advance and she never lets us down.  Occasionally she is away and if that is the case then usually just one of us (either DH or myself) will go.  If it is were something important (i.e. wedding/engagement etc.) then we would be able to work something out.  We could pay my SIL to do it, or ask a friend.  It would be a hassle though, as DS doesn't like being separated from mum or dad, unless it's to go to his beloved grandma!
On the one occasion I left him at his best buddy's house (son of my close friend) he got really distressed and I had to come home early, even though he is happy to have play dates there during the day, so we won't try that again.

#31 katniss

Posted 10 December 2011 - 02:39 PM

QUOTE (Percoriel @ 08/12/2011, 12:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We belong to a babysitting club - its fabulous! Basically its a group of families (about 15) who all know someone in the group - you have to be referred by someone who has known you for a while. We have a points system - one point for each hour before midnight and two for after. (I think its earlier during the week). We all now know each other quite well as we also have regular get togethers like bbqs, or park afternoons.


What a great set up!

My MIL is pretty much the main babysitter but I can ask a cousin and SIL if desperate. I never ask my parents because my mum has health issues and I feel bad.

So if they can't babysit then we don't go out. I don't feel comfortable paying babysitting companies. I need to know the person to feel comfortable.

We recently went to a family wedding but it was a small backyard wedding so it was fine to take them.

#32 spersephone

Posted 10 December 2011 - 02:43 PM

I can ask my mum on occasion, but she lives 150km away.  Other than that, I really don't have anyone.  So we go out in turns, or only together when mum can babysit.

#33 jaismum

Posted 10 December 2011 - 02:43 PM

QUOTE (EssentialBludger @ 08/12/2011, 11:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No one. If we can't get any of our family (and there's lots of them, so it would be pretty odd if they were ALL busy), we don't go.

I will NEVER hire a babysitter from an agency or the like. I need to trust people with my children. I don't trust strangers.


This!

#34 baddmammajamma

Posted 10 December 2011 - 02:52 PM

Guess what?

We found our amazing babysitter via findababysitter...you know, the ones who have an active advertising presence on EB... wink.gif

My family lives in the U.S; my husband's family is in Victoria. When we first arrived in Sydney, we knew precisely ZERO people.

As much as we love being parents, we need time alone that doesn't involve our children.

Our main babysitter is a local uni student who lives at home (parents are pillars of the community), studying early childhood education, and an honors student. The downside is that good babysitters can be expensive. As a result, we don't use ours as much as I would like -- but it's an issue of cost, not trust.  

Thankfully, I also now have a large network of girlfriends (fellow mums of young kids). If I ask, I can usually find someone who is happy to host our kids -- and in return, I gladly take their children one day or evening so that THEIR parents can get a little break.

Edited by baddmammajamma, 10 December 2011 - 02:53 PM.


#35 Ninja Lemur

Posted 12 December 2011 - 11:53 AM

QUOTE (EssentialBludger @ 08/12/2011, 02:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No one. If we can't get any of our family (and there's lots of them, so it would be pretty odd if they were ALL busy), we don't go.

I will NEVER hire a babysitter from an agency or the like. I need to trust people with my children. I don't trust strangers.


VERY envious of your situation.  We have next to no family support mostly due to distance.  Mostly we use paid babysitters and also do swaps with other local parents.  I would not be ale to run my business / follow my passions / have a decent social life/marriage otherwise.

QUOTE (Percoriel @ 08/12/2011, 03:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We belong to a babysitting club - its fabulous! Basically its a group of families (about 15) who all know someone in the group - you have to be referred by someone who has known you for a while. We have a points system - one point for each hour before midnight and two for after. (I think its earlier during the week). We all now know each other quite well as we also have regular get togethers like bbqs, or park afternoons.

If you need a sitter, you just email the group and usually have a response within 24 hours - we've never not been able to get someone to sit our girls.

Without them we too would never go out - it has been a marriage saver for us original.gif Plus my husband travels a lot for work so it means I can do things like sign up for a night course and not have to worry about missing a night if he is away.


That's a great idea.  Might try and arrange something like that.

I don't quite get the concern about "strangers"  The kids love it when our babysitter comes over.  They see her like an older sister.  She is way more fun and active than I am.

#36 Kylie Orr

Posted 12 December 2011 - 11:54 AM

I'm with you baddmammajamma. Everyone needs a break and every marriage needs some adult time, and not everyone has family willing or available to help. Finding a sitter, or doing a swap with other mums is a great alternative.

I also looked at the babysitters site and had every intention of signing up and trialling some sitters. Of course life got in the way and I haven't yet got around to it.

I also set up a babysitting swap with a friend and we just got diaries out and did an exchange once a month - the date was changeable if something came up but it was nice to know that the offer could be reciprocated so then I didn't feel so bad when they helped me out too. biggrin.gif

QUOTE
I will NEVER hire a babysitter from an agency or the like. I need to trust people with my children. I don't trust strangers.
This is a very strong statement. We all need to trust people with our children and we all need time out. Trust can be earned and I don't see that getting to know someone in short bursts first through an agency or other recommendation is that risky a venture?!

#37 Bart.

Posted 12 December 2011 - 11:57 AM

We don't have any family around us so we just don't go out.

Edited by Bartholomew, 12 December 2011 - 11:57 AM.


#38 Neiladvani

Posted 13 August 2012 - 05:51 AM

I don't need babysitting for my family i'll manage by my self

#39 Possum_gal

Posted 13 August 2012 - 07:11 AM

If we can't get MIL or mum to watch the kids, we have my g/f's daughter who is more than happy, or a mate of DH's g/f who loves watching them. We get out, just DH and I, at least once a month regularly. Lately it's been every couple of weekends though. I think it's definitely important to couples to have that alone time, and I'm very grateful that I can do that.

#40 BronR

Posted 15 August 2012 - 01:45 PM

A good friend has 2 daughters in their early 20's at Uni who are more than willing to babysit for us and our children love them both (and I've known these girls since they were in primary school). Sometimes when I've booked one they will both turn up just for fun (they know they have to split the money in this case).

I admit when our children were younger we really only used my parents who live over an hour away (we're in Sydney and so are they but not nearby) but now the kids are a bit older (6 and 4) it's great having someone more local and we're happy to be providing them with a bit of spare cash. Win Win.



#41 Missie

Posted 17 August 2012 - 12:23 PM

We have no one. I have a younger sister that will babysit sometimes but it is very rarely. DH and I worked out the last time we got any time out together was back in December 2011 for my b'day. It is just the way it is for us, no family support and friends that have their own families to be taking care of.

#42 amabanana

Posted 17 August 2012 - 01:19 PM

QUOTE (DamiansMama @ 08/12/2011, 03:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No babysitters here either. If my family can't, I don't go out.



#43 BB1511

Posted 17 August 2012 - 02:20 PM

I feel really lucky. While my family doesn't live in the same state yet I have three close friends, a cousin and my SIL who have all babysat my DS. Mostly in evenings on a weekday or weekend. They will look after him for about an hr before putting him to bed. They are life savers! I am very conscious about sharing it around. I always supply dinner and when the roles are reversed I will happily help them out. One of DS favorite carers at Childcare has also given me her number in case I need it but that would be paid. If DS needs looking after during waking hrs for an extended period I would probably choose the paid option as I know she is qualified. But otherwise my friends are competent.  
We have only been doing this since DS reached 16ish months. As I felt he was 'easy' to babysit from this age.

#44 lizzzard

Posted 19 August 2012 - 01:07 PM

We seem to have a bit of a different take on this to many people. Maybe it comes from having the kids overseas where help from family really wasn't an option, but now that we're here with plenty of family and friends around, I would far prefer to pay for a babysitter than  ask a favour from someone. This was one of the reasons we chose to use a nanny rather than afterschool care since I know our nanny is someone the kids know and we trust completely, and is usually happy to do extra hours. We do pay a bit of a premium, but the various benefits (like a date night with hubby every week) outweigh the extra cost for us.

Edited by lizzzard, 19 August 2012 - 01:09 PM.


#45 JapNFeral

Posted 19 August 2012 - 01:11 PM

We had a babysitting club when the kids were younger composed of 5-7 families.

Mostly now we pay for babysitting - at the moment am using the daughter of an old friend.

#46 spersephone

Posted 19 August 2012 - 01:11 PM

I'd be happy to pay as long as I believed I had someone reputable that I could trust with my children.  But we simply couldn't afford it, it would make a night out too expensive.  So we don't very often have a date night as a result.

#47 hamire

Posted 19 August 2012 - 01:32 PM

We don't have family close by, but I plan on using some of my senior students (so aged 16 or up) when bub is a little older. I did heaps of babysitting in high school and loved it, so I want to give that opportunity (and money) to my students.

I would also let the neighbours know that we are going out just in case there are any problems.

That's what I PLAN on doing once bub arrives....but reality may be different Tounge1.gif

#48 Cath42

Posted 19 August 2012 - 01:40 PM

I'm a sole parent of 4, none of whom are old enough to be left home alone, and my nearest family members (my parents) live 3 hours' drive away. So I fall into that group of parents who don't have the option of calling on family members to babysit children. I'm fortunate in that I work outside the home, so have plenty of adult conversation on weekdays and can see friends and get a lot of things done while child-free (such as going to the bank or doing a quick grocery shop on the way home). The bottom line is that I simply don't go out at night unless I have to go to a work function. It's a big ask for somebody to babysit 4 children, including a 10-year-old with Aspergers, a 3-year-old and a 2-year-old. I do have quite a few people I can call on in an emergency (such as needing someone to come over in the middle of the night because one child is sick and has to be taken to hospital). Once the younger two are older, in a couple of years, I'll find someone I can pay to babysit occasionally so I can go out at night.

I have to say that although I remind myself every day to count my blessings, I am terribly envious of the parents I know who have extended family living close by. My neighbours on both sides are blessed with extended family living within a 10km radius. They have child minders whenever they need them, plenty of adults to take kids to sport and help out when illness strikes... but I guess I could have that too if I moved to Canberra where my parents live. And if I moved, I'd have to give up my income (at least temporarily) and leave my friends,  and my older kids would find it very hard to leave their friends and adjust to a new place. On balance, I'm happy with the way things are.

[edited for spelling]

Edited by Cath42, 19 August 2012 - 01:43 PM.


#49 kaboo

Posted 19 August 2012 - 01:55 PM

QUOTE (lizzzard @ 19/08/2012, 01:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would far prefer to pay for a babysitter than  ask a favour from someone. This was one of the reasons we chose to use a nanny rather than afterschool care since I know our nanny is someone the kids know and we trust completely, and is usually happy to do extra hours. We do pay a bit of a premium, but the various benefits (like a date night with hubby every week) outweigh the extra cost for us.


Same here. It's a big ask for someone else to look after four kids plus they usually want us to take the kids to them. So the nanny is a much better option because then I don't feel guilty for keeping her up late.

#50 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 19 August 2012 - 02:02 PM

We have half our family overseas and the other half isn't keen on looking after the kidlets for any reason, let alone a date night, so we don't ask.
However, we are so lucky to have such good friends, who our children are comfortable with and are like family anyway. We then return the favour for them or, in the case of one couple, who have adult kids, we pay for a meal for them at their favourite restaurant to thank them, as they won't accept money or get them a really good bottle of wine.

If no one was available, we either wouldn't go or one of us would attend.
Saying that, it's very rare that DP and I go out alone and most of the occasions we are invited to and attend are family orientated as a lot of our friends are in the same boat as us.




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