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IVF Multiple Cycles and the Long Haul BG #12


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#51 Guest_senecio_*

Posted 30 January 2012 - 10:36 AM

Spock, I am so shocked and saddened to hear your news.  sad.gif  I don't know what else to say. I am thinking of you.

Libra, good luck with your appointment. I really don't think Dr Fancy shirt would be one to judge. Good luck with your weight loss too.

Everyone else, I am stalking and wishing the best for you long haulers.


Edited by senecio, 30 January 2012 - 10:37 AM.


#52 BJBubbles

Posted 30 January 2012 - 03:25 PM

indigo~ I hope your EPU went well today and you aren't too uncomfortable! Hopefully some good quality eggs will fertilise overnight. I'm planning on doing a blast transfer too as long as we have enough eggs/embryo's...  What is your "strike rate" of follicles to eggs, and then eggs to embryo's? My last 2 stims I've only gotten about 50% usable eggs from follicles....

Spock - I hope work today was in fact a good distraction. I found for me I couldn't/didn't want to face anyone so needed the extra time to just be alone at home - but everyone heals differently and I really hope work will help you feel a little better day by day.   I know it's so hard to stop your mind from thinking those horrible thoughts of "what if" - I've had them too - hopefully when you see your doctor and get your next plan in place you will feel a little more reassured.

Thank for the good wishes librablonde and liltuss - It's really encouraging having this group here - having people who understand exactly what I'm going through is awesome.  I have some great friends that are really supportive - but they just can't understand what it's really like for us. So thank you  :-)  

librablonde, your appointment has come around fast hey! Give yourself a bit of a break re the weight - your body has been through a LOT over the last few months and probably doesn't know which way is up!  It'll take time for it to get back to "normal" probably just in time for you to confuse it with all the hormones for another cycle!  Hopefully Dr fnacyshirt can get you in for your surgery quick smart and get things moving again soon.

AFM - another scan today which was looking good - not as good as I had hoped but my FS is happy. My endo was great apparently and I have a couple of BIG follicles (22 and 23!) and another one at 19, but the rest are still small-ish at around 14 so she has decided EPU will be Friday to give the smaller ones a chance to catch up and hopefully get us 6 or more eggs. So Trigger will be Wednesday night and then we're planning a blast transfer for next Wednesday if all is OK.  I've got aobut 14 or so follicles so am starting to feel rather bloated - and my orgalutran injections on Fri and Sat night left bruises (?!?!?!) so I'm a bit sore too! BUT only 2 more nights of the Gonal F and Orgalutran....

xox
BJ



#53 indigo~

Posted 31 January 2012 - 07:59 PM

Hello ladies. Thanks for the well wishes. I had my EPU yesterday and it went smoothly. Got 4 eggs, which is about what I expected.

Unfortunately, the news this morning was not great. Of the 4 eggs, only 1 was suitable for ICSI. Thankfully the 'lone ranger' did fertiilise, so will just have to wait and see how it develops. I'm not feeling very hopeful. Another $5000 down the drain.

**warning, wallowing follows***
Gah, what do I have to do? I'm a productive and responsible member of society, I'm nice to my neighbours, I smile at the bus driver every day, heck, I even recycle religiously. It's not fair! Stamp my foot and hold my breath...
**ok, wallowing over now**

So, do you think if there's nothing to transfer on Saturday (day 5), can/should I ask to defrost one of my precious frosties? Is that even an option? Or am I better off waiting to use them with proper FET 'preparation'?

If nothing is able to be transferred this time, I'll roll straight into another stim as I've spent a bleeding fortune on saizen injections this cycle, and their benefits last for awhile.

BjBubbles, wishing you all the best for your EPU on Friday. I can imagine how uncomfortable you must be feeling, poor thing.

Libra, yay for the FS appt this week! No beating yourself up over weight issues, ok? You've been through so much. If a little comfort eating helps, then so be it, I reckon.

#54 zjb2

Posted 01 February 2012 - 07:58 AM

Hi all,

I am not sure I have ever posted here before but we did three cycles of IVF last year so hopefully you don't mind me posting now.

Indigo I just wanted to say that it is possible to transfer a frozen embryo on day 5 of a stim cycle. It might depend on policy rules at your clinic but at ours (the FS had to check first) it was ok'ed and it did not cost us anymore than the quoted price of the stim cycle. Whether you should or not, is harder to decided, it was a big decision for us, but so far it has paid off. FYI, we asked the FS about it being an option around day 3.

Hopefully your "lone ranger" does brilliantly and you don't need to make this decision.

Wishing you and all the ladies the best of luck with current and upcoming cycles.



#55 Spock

Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:24 AM

hi ladies,

indigo, hands.gif ing your embie is dividing away!! I second zjb's post, ask your fs. I have heard of ladies doing this. I guess whether you want to depends on how you feel you will go transferring now, after all the stimulation etc or transferring later when you haven't had all the stimulation etc. some people seem to do better with FETs, some don't. Personally it has made no difference to me. Your fs should be able to advise you about this though.

bjbubbles, that's right, not many more nights of injections to go now so hopefully your smaller follies will catch up and you get a lovely haul on friday. perhaps the bruises are from hitting blood vessels, it can happen.

senecio, thank you lovely.

libra, hope your appt today goes well. really hoping all goes to your plan so no more delays. Really glad you feel you are ready to take action and move forward to achieve your dream. don't worry about the weight gain, totally understandable, sometimes comfort food is all we have and you have certainly been through the wringer.

hi mitchp, liltuss, mum2oneds and anyone else popping by.

afm, well it is another day. Monday at work was really tough, just wanted to cry. think i went back too soon. yesterday i started reading a book about how to deal with my emotions from m/c, written by a doc who suffered a m/c and then became a psychologist. it's okay, maybe too early for me. anyway i have tried to start the day with a positive affirmation (from the book) - today i will not blame myself, there was nothing i could have knowingly done.

i haven't cried yet but i'm sure when i get home from work the floodgates will open. i also started reading a book called Personal IVF Stories which I found so far, helpful, just reading about the struggles of others, knowing they had the same feelings as me. this book is a collection of ivf stories from EB members actually.

I am weaning myself of the pred and my brachial neuritis has started to play up, which is worrying, another thing for the fs to investigate.

it is very hard not to ask why?? all the time. I can't help but think how happy i could have been this same time if all was well - we were supposed to see our OB for the first time today.

#56 dreamstoreality

Posted 01 February 2012 - 11:09 AM

Hi everyone and welcome to all the new people in this buddy group.

OMG Spock, I am so so sorry to hear your news. My heart breaks for you.  I hope you are coping ok and taking one day at a time, or one hour at a time, as needed.  

We definitely all deserve a break and some good fortune.

AFM, well, after the disaster that was 2011, DH and I went and saw our FS last week and we have decided to embark on a weight loss regime before trying ivf again.

He said the fact that I was getting the number of eggs in folicles was good (ie. they say 12, I would get 11), but the quality of them is just sh*t.  I've never had any frozen and only ever got one embryo to implant.

We are also doing further tests to test our genetic make up to see if there is anything that is wrong there as well, we are having those tests taken on Saturday and the results take 6 weeks.

We are taking about 6 months off.  As hard as it is, I have come to the realisation that if I was to fall pregnant now, I would have a hell of time doing stuff with our baby at this weight.

At the moment I struggle with my back pain, I have issues kneeling down and getting back up again easily (ie. I need something to hold on to to pull myself up) and there are hundreds of other things I can't do because I'm obese.  I was sitting in a chair the other day and couldn't bend down to reach something on the floor because my belly is too big it prevented me from doing so, I could have cried.  I don't think I would be able to hold a baby on my belly to breastfeed them nor give them cuddles. It's too awkward.  If the baby was on a playmat on the ground, if I was going to lift them, I would need to lift them to the couch, then lift myself up and then lift the baby of the couch again.  That is not the mother I want to be, nor the normal that I want my life to become.  I've never admitted that to anyone before and it is devastating.

I use to be size 10, I am now a size 18/20 and I hate myself.  Not only that, I can't stop eating - to be honest, it makes me feel better, that is the problem.

DH and I as of Monday are starting Tony Ferguson.  According to them, I need to lose 40kg, it seems like an impossible amount, so my first hurdle is 10kg and I am hoping to lose 20kg all up before trying IVF again, I have a goal.

FS was wonderful and he also said that all those people that say if you loose weight you will get pregnant more easily is not true.  The fact that you are healthier is better, not just beccuase you are skinnier!

So that is it for me.  I will pop in from time to time to catch up and I wish you all the best of luck going forward.

#57 Spock

Posted 01 February 2012 - 11:51 AM

dreamsofreality, very courageous decision to make, good luck and hope to see you back in here feeling better about yourself and healthier and roaring to get into ivf

#58 dreamstoreality

Posted 01 February 2012 - 01:39 PM

Thanks Spock. I think what also swayed me was FS telling me that taking 6 months off at my age was not going to make a dramatic difference in chances of concieving or not.  Although he did say if I was 40, then the odds would be stacked against me taking time off.

I then questioned him about DH as he is already 40 and he said not to worry about his age when talking about conception as he could still have babies at 70, if he was that way inclined!  Which he isn't!

But yeah, that definitely helped make the decision.

#59 indigo~

Posted 01 February 2012 - 06:36 PM

Zjb2, thank you so much for posting. Good to know that it can work  original.gif  Tomorrow will be day 3, so I might text my FS and sound her out on the issue.

Spock, thanks for your kind words too. Big hugs, brave one, for heading back to work. When is your appt with your FS re further investigations?

DTR, wishing you all the best for your 6 month break. It sounds like a really good plan. I must admit, I would be taking more breaks if I had the time, too. I'm only a month off 40 though, so will just have to press on. I hope you'll be keeping in touch and letting us know how you're going.

Libra, hope your appt goes really well tmrw. Xo

#60 minidiamond

Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:21 AM

Indigo, I agree with zj & spock, best is to check with the FS.  I guess you might get an update on the lone ranger today, crossing everything it's going well.

My personal experience is that FET was always more successful than fresh, and certainly with vitrification techniques these days, frozen embies are definitely no WORSE (they used to be).   However I always did natural FETs, so not sure if drugs would have made a difference.    I put my lack of fresh success down to be over-stimulated; I always got loads of eggs, in the high teens at worst and just think my body was a little too messed up to accept the embie.  Everyone is different and you had a lower haul so your body may be very happy to accept a frostie.  It's a tough one, how many frosties have you got ?  My gut inclination if it were me (and it's just me) is to wait and have the frozen transfer next month or later.  I also did a 'banking' stim cycle at one point; basically I had two embies on ice but decided since time was running out I should do a stim.  I only got one embie from that cycle.  

Libra, I am thinking of you today.  I hope the FS can do the procedures asap & you can move on with a new cycle.  I know the pain of losing Gabriel will take a long long time to heal, but perhaps a new medical focus will help.

DTR, what an emotional post & time you are going through.  I wish you and your DH the very best of luck, and those 'mini' goals are definitely the best way to do it.  FS is right, six months will not make a difference so now is the time to do it.    Good luck with everything.

Spock, I'm so sorry.  Starting to do all those 'normal' things again like work will be very very hard.  Sounds like you are taking really strong steps to help get through with the books etc., wondering if you're having any counselling or similar ? Either way, you need to do what works for you of course.   I was wondering about Sooty - hopes you're getting lots of TLC from poochy.

BJ, all the very best for EPU tomorrow, sounds like you've got some nice follies there !!  

ZJB, how are you doing ? Hope all is well.

*preg/child mentioned*

AFM, well we are probably stark raving mad but we're going to look at a puppy on the weekend to give our furbaby a little friend.  I'm figuring we'll get the early training done before August when the human baby arrives.

Edited by Liltuss, 02 February 2012 - 09:02 PM.


#61 indigo~

Posted 02 February 2012 - 06:12 PM

Libra, hope all went well today and your FS can fit in your procedure asap.

Bj, all the best for tomorrow! Let us know how you go.

Liltuss, thanks for your thoughts. I found myself nodding in agreement. I texted my FS today and she said there would be no problems if I wanted to transfer one of my frozen blasts on saturday. She thought that I had only been on low doses of FSH (175u daily) that I should still be ok.

However, if I could have my way, I would have bub number 1 from a fresh cycle so that I could keep my 2 precious blasts frozen to try for a sibling. I feel very strongly about wanting more than one. I was raised as an only child and always wished for a sibling. Any child I have will already not have a dad due to me doing this on my own with donor sperm, and I don't have a big family group. So I would like to be able to (or at least try) to provide a sibling. It might seem crazy to some, and I know, I may not even be lucky enough to have one child so it could all be academic. And if I do have one and can only have one, that will be ok too. But it won't be from lack of trying.

I have low ovarian reserve, which means that I'm rapidly running out of eggs. It's highly likely I won't have any, or will have very few left, by the time I might be ready to go again at say 42.

And if this cycle was a bit of a disaster, maybe that's a sign that my body is not in it's best state for a FET?

I'd be really interested to hear from you all about what you think (lurkers and grads included!). Should I bite the bullet and transfer a frostie on Saturday and stop worrying about things waaay down the track, or hold off and do another stim? (which would mean getting some benefit hopefully from the saizen and longer being back on the DHEA and CoQ10)?

#62 indigo~

Posted 02 February 2012 - 06:14 PM

Oops, forgot to say YAY on the new puppy liltuss!! Always a good idea to get another lovely pet, in my opinion. Will you get another lab?

#63 librablonde

Posted 02 February 2012 - 06:40 PM

Hi ladies, it's nice to see lots of posts from old and new Long Haulers recently. Today mine is just going to be a quick post, and I'll do Personals tomorrow.

So I finally saw my FS today, the first time since the m/c. I spent all last night and this morning crying with the stress of it all, as I just didn't want to re-live all the m/c details again during the consultation.

But Dr Fancyshirt was lovely and down to business straight away and this is the situation: it turns out I need a lap, not a hysteroscopy, as my fibroid is an intermural fibroid (in the walls of the uterus), not a submucosal fibroid as previously thought. And today an u/s showed my fibroid hasn't shrunk back down since the m/c and it need to be smaller before any surgery to remove it. So...... the only way to shrink it quickly is shut off all estrogen in my body (ie: snap menopause) via Syranel. For 3 fricking months straight. OMG. My jaw dropped when he said that b/c I had such a horrible time on Syranel during my first stim cycle: headaches, migraines, ridiculous crying over anything all the time, mood swings, aggression. But it's the only way to shrink the fibroid so I have to just suck it up and power through it. Then I'll have laparoscopic surgery to remove the fibroid in 3 months, then need to wait at least 3 months to heal after that before I do a FET or another EPU.

So it'll be probably September (just before I turn 41) before I'm back cycling again, and need to focus on getting fit, losing weight and staying sane in the meantime. And the surgery will have to be done by another OB, not my FS.

So anyway, the poor FS just looked out of his depth as I cried through my consultation while I spoke of the m/c and what's to become of my dreams for a baby, but at least we have a plan now, even if the timeline is longer than I anticipated. So I know there's good news in this, I just need to be patient and stay focused on the the plan. To help avoid me losing my mind while taking Syranel, I'm going to get organised in my life: start doing Meal Plans, have a rock solid routine in place for all the kids and myself, it'll all be on a Daily Planner calendar on the wall, along with the Meal Planner calendar, and hopefully that'll alleviate some of my usual daily chaos and reduce my normal stress running the house and managing my foster kids and all their appointments, various therapies, etc that they need to attend. My DP is a social worker and does similar plans for her clients, so now she's going to Case Plan me too blush.gif

So that's it for now, I'll be back tomorrow.

Hang in there ladies, 2012 will be a better year original.gif

#64 mitchp

Posted 03 February 2012 - 09:00 AM

Hey all.

Libra - just wanted to say good luck with the Synarel and just keep thinking of why you're doing it (obviously). Great plan that you have to get fit etc. DP and I are both doing that at the moment and so far DP has lost almost 5kg and me 4kg - so hopefully we can keep this up. We've just booked ourselves an overseas holiday for June (1 week) with family so are looking forward to that, hopefully we'll be happy and healthy by then (otherwise Greenpeace might try to drag us back out to sea!).

On the IVF side of things - we have been sent out a couple of donors to choose from (new ones) so will choose one hopefully to start DP cycling again come April this year.

Good luck to all and keep in touch x

#65 Spock

Posted 03 February 2012 - 09:58 AM

hi ladies,

mitchp, sounds like you are getting geared up for 2012. great news on getting fit and some new donors to consider.

libra, wow! what a detailed and thorough consultation you had. Sounds frustrating to have to wait so long but if that is what you need to do, to get your body all ready for another cycle, then if you have the determination - and I think you do, you will do it. Perhaps easier to break it down into smaller timeframes like 3 months for your surgery first, then only after that 3 months for you to go again. great that your dp can make a plan for you and sounds like you are ready for this. I know some other long haulers who had to wait because of various unforseen medical things and they each achieved their dream so I hope you can to. I've had to wait at least 2 months between every transfer because I've m/c'ed each time (or some other random medical cr*ppy thing happened), adds up, now I'm 36, I was 31 when we started ttc.

afm, feeling a bit more positive today. I have to believe that I can carry a pregnancy otherwise I won't be doing another transfer, what would be the point. have banned myself from google as think I'm driving myself a bit nutty. still crying every day, don't see that changing anytime soon. be good to see my counsellor next Friday (she's booked up till then which is a tad annoying).

#66 BJBubbles

Posted 03 February 2012 - 12:36 PM

Hi all,

Indigo, how are you going?  Have you heard from the scientist re your little lone ranger? Or did I miss that? You were considering using one of your frosties - I wouldn't have even thought of that!

Libra - it's so hard having to wait for things, especially after all you've been through, but it sounds like you've got a great plan in place. As spoke said, maybe look at each part individually so as not to feel too overwhelmed by the whole thing...  I've always had breaks between cycles (except my FET's) because of M/C etc and related doctors appointments. They delays can be frustrating, but I keep telling myself we want to make sure I am as healthy as possible and we know exactly what we are dealing with, so it doesn't happen again!

Spock - great to hear you are feeling positive today! I've had those fears too. Dr google can be wonderful, but yeah, you can do your head In reading too much!!! I've found seeing the couoncellor has been really helpful for both myself and my DH.

AFM - epu went well this morning. Ended up with 6 eggs. Not my best result, but not totally disappointed. Am anxious to hear from the scientist tomorrow to see what we've got to work with. Hopefully at least 4 have fertilized and we can do a day 5 transfer on Wednesday.

Sorry if I've missed anyone/anything - and for any typos! I'm on the iPad - will get the the computer later and update properly.

Xox
BJ

#67 BJBubbles

Posted 04 February 2012 - 08:46 AM

*** sooky la la ME post***

cry1.gif We've got 1 embroy! 1 from 6!!!! My worst result. The scientist tried to make me feel better by telling me it was really 1 from 3 (which was an OK result!) as 3 of the eggs were immature. Awesome - love knowing my eggs were uselss too!  Was trying so hard to not cry on the phone to her and lost it when I hung up  cry1.gif

Transfer has been moved forward to Monday in the hope that we'll at least have that one embryo to transfer....

Sorry for the sooky me post. I know at least I have that embryo, and it only takes one, just really disappointed and DH is out playing golf so I have no one to sook to at home!





#68 indigo~

Posted 04 February 2012 - 12:45 PM

Bj, you take as much sooky lala time as you want. It is very disappointing when you go through a whole stim for one embryo. Hang in there hun, and all the best for transfer on Monday. You're still in with a good chance!

Libra, 3 months of syneral is tough, but you are one of the strongest around, so you'll get through it I know. Sounds like you have some good plans for the enforced wait.

Mitch, well done to you and your DP on your weight losses! Don't know about you, but I am finding this IVF weight sticks like glue. either that, or my metabolism has pretty much ground to a halt.

Spock, what a shame you've had to wait so long to see your counsellor. The google ban sounds like a good idea.

Well, all my agonizing was for nothing. The lone ranger kicked on beautifully and was popped back in this morning as an expanding blast. BT will be 15 Feb.

#69 dreamstoreality

Posted 04 February 2012 - 07:00 PM

BJBubbles, hang in there hon.  As you say, you only need one, but it is so disappointing for that too happen.  DH and I have only ever had one to transfer, so I know how you feel, hang in there and I'm praying for you.

Libra my thoughts are with you having to do syneral for 3 months, I've never done it but I've heard about it a lot and I hope this time around you don't suffer any of the side effects.

Indigo that is great news that you have an expanding blast on board - fingers and toes crossed for you plus anything else that can be crossed!

ASF, went to Tony Ferguson today and got all the stuff I need to start on Monday. I'm actually heavier than what I thought, but that is ok, DH is heavier than me by 6 kg as well, but we are on the right track and we'll never weigh this weight again.

As you know I was hoping to loose 20kg before we do ivf again (6 months off) and the consultant said today that realistically if we stick to it, I could lose 30kg in 6 months, that is even more than I ever thought possible! How amazing would that be! However, according to my BMI, I need to lose over 50kg, but one step at a time!

#70 BJBubbles

Posted 05 February 2012 - 07:45 PM

DTR and mitchp - well done and good luck with the weight loss! It's scary how quickly a kilo or two start to add up to 5, then 10 etc! You've got the right attitude and support!

Indigo, so glad your little emby powered on and you got to the blast transfer! Fingers and everything else crossed for you!

Well my bl**dy woman's intuition was right again (it's freaky and scarily right for me).... I've had a feeling (and been having dreams) for the last week or so and was hoping it was just me being scared and cautions, but..... Scientist called me this afternoon and as soon as I saw the number I knew....

We have nothing, nadda, zip, NO EMBRYO! cry1.gif

The one and only we had developed abnormally overnight and cannot be used....

mad.gif


#71 dreamstoreality

Posted 05 February 2012 - 07:52 PM

Oh BJ, I am so so sorry that your embryo wasn't any good. I feel for you so much and wish there was something I could say that would help you out, but there is nothing.

I'm thinking of you and sorry that you have had to go through this and this experience.



#72 indigo~

Posted 05 February 2012 - 08:35 PM

Bj, I'm so sorry this has happened. It's hugely disappointing. Thinking of you.

#73 minidiamond

Posted 05 February 2012 - 08:38 PM

Oh BJ, I am so sorry to hear that.  Big hugs.

#74 mitchp

Posted 06 February 2012 - 08:51 AM

Oh BJ, big hugs to you - that is so sucky.

Seriously Universe WTF are you doing to this Buddy Group? We are all loving, caring human beings that deserve to have our dream become reality.

Stop throwing crap at us, man up and give us what we have been trying for years to obtain.

Thank you.

Good luck all, and to those others that are on the weight loss train, congrats, let's help each other out. First order of the day - stop me eating jelly beans please original.gif

DP and I had a choice out of 2 (new) donors recently and have made our choice - hoping to be ready to start cycling in April which gives us another couple of months to lose some weight and feel better about ourselves.

Good luck all xx

#75 BJBubbles

Posted 06 February 2012 - 08:55 AM

Thanks ladies - I really appreciate it! Just so frustrating to go through all of the needles and surgery to not even get a transfer! And then the cost of it all just rubs salt in the wound!

I've heard from my FS assistant this morning and we are organising an appointment with her for this week to discuss everything...

Any suggestions on what specifically I should ask - aside from WTF?!!?   rant.gif

DH suggested we get is sperm tested again - last test was fine but was over 18 months ago... before we started clomid!
I haven't had my AMH tested - is it worth asking about?
Wondering if it's my egg quality?

It's just harder knowing that it HAS worked and I WAS pregnant!  What on earth has changed to go from 10 eggs/7 embryo's last March which I got pregnant off and froze 3 (so total of 4 great blasts!), to absolutely nothing!

Advice is greatly appreciated!!!
xox
BJ


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