pookems, I am so sorry you have not got any help from receiving your notes but I really suggest that you sit with a neutral midwife and go through them with her/him. Not everything that happens in labour, not every conversation or discussion between colleagues is recorded in the notes.
It may take someone to be able to explain the sequence of events and why certain events occured. Having said this I am not trying to justify what happened but just sometimes there is a valid reason for the action.......... that should of course have been explained to you first
It is clear that you were not well supported in hospital by anyone, this is something that you really must report and report until you feel as though you've been heard but as well as this I think you need continued psychological care.
I felt similar after our first and spent quite some time 'reminiscing' every single moment of my labour and wondering 'why' and what could have been done differently but it was eating away at me, effecting my relationship with my baby and my DH and luckily I read my notes and had clear vision of the reasons why and I was able to move on to the point that when I became pregnant 5 months later I was excited about doing it again.
Wishing you all good things and a sense of peace and clarity that will help you move on and enjoy your gorgeous little boy.
Am more than happy to run through anything with you by PM if you like.x