4mth old transitioning to daycare...yr experience, suggestions?
Tips to handle the guilt?
, Jun 14 2012 07:14 AM
4 replies to this topic
Posted 14 June 2012 - 07:14 AM
I've been stunned at how hard it is to get into daycare, starting to follow up the waiting lists from a year ago and we are STILL on lists...all of a sudden a light has appeared at the end of the tunnel and we've been offered daycare at a lovely centre, handy to my transport to work and FH to collect her....but the crunch is I need to start her now two days a week...when I return to work full time in two months (they've guaranteed a full time spot for me then).
It's always been our plan for me to return to work full time, I earn a good salary, my job is a trainer also so despite my employer telling me I can opt for p/t I don't know that it would work...I couldn't see myself delivering half a course, no one does it like that at work, we dont have anyone to jobshare with, so I find that a bit odd to try and consider. And I know that heaps of kids go to daycare full time and come out ok...her big sister does already....but every family has to make their own choices and for us it has always been about me going back f/t.
I guess there's the voices that are all asking if I'm going to work p/t...what is that about? Just contributing I guess to the guilt that I'm feeling, seems to be something we all get handed as we leave hospital with our bubs. We don't have any family support either, I will be able to work from home one day a week upon my return if I'm not in a course.
But also knowing now that I have to start her care now, which does make me sad but for all my own selfish reasons...if I think of her, getting her used to the centre now, before the time for separation anxiety kicks in, still giving me time to find another option if she hates this....she is truly the easiest going bub, and I do worry the whole " but she's only known me" constant...being b/f too I think we'll have to supplement while she's in care....it does feel like I have to make all these decisions all of a sudden.
So has anyone put their bubs in a centre at this time...how did you transition them? A few hours rather than a full day? Did you have fears of yourself at the gate yearning to see how yr bub is...I know I'm being ridiculous, it's that whole thing I've never had to leave her with anyone but FH...has anyone got tips for me?
I feel like I'm lucky to have even secured a spot, and so convenient to us both going to work, I shouldn't look this gift horse in the mouth kind of thing. fH tells me to pull my head in, that she needs the socialization...so it's hard to say to him, help me here...
Posted 14 June 2012 - 07:28 AM
I don't think you should feel guilty at all. Just because you put your children in daycare and go to work 5 days a week doesn't mean you love them any less than a SAHM would love her kids. And you really are so lucky to have secured a spot, I totally understand how difficult it is searching for a place that will take you when you need it!
If you're not working for the next 2 months why don't you just ease her in gradually; do the first month for a couple of hours at a time (maybe just after you've fed her) so you don't have to worry about supplementing just yet and then for the last month gradually make the hours longer so that by the time you're ready to start work she's had the last week with the carers fulltime.
And just see what happens with the BFing when you go back to work, she'll be 6 months by then so will prob be happy with a few bottles and solids at daycare and then the boob at home with you (if that's what you want of course!)
Posted 18 June 2012 - 09:31 AM
My 2 have both started LDC at 3/4 months.
Yes it is hard, but its hard on you more so than bub. I used to be counting down the minutes until it was time to go and see bub for a BF (our LDC was next door to work so still BFing). It gets much easier as they get older.
I think it is a blessing in disguise being forced to put her into care a bit earlier. The same thing happened to me when DS started and it was fabulous being able to ease him into it gently by doing just a few hours or half days there while I got myself and the house sorted out before going back to work.
I am lucky enough to only work 3 days a week, but even so I think in some ways it makes me a better parent because on the days I am not at work I am much more likely to be on the floor playing with the kids, or taking them on fun family outings than shoving them in the corner while I do the housework.
Good luck with it all!
Edited by kate789, 18 June 2012 - 09:35 AM.
Posted 18 June 2012 - 09:48 AM
DS started daycare at 5 months - only one day a week, though. I express milk on the day I am away from him and he has that the following week. It really is easier than I thought it would be to do this. You'll probably want to express when you're away from your DD anyway as you'll get engorged and risk mastitis. I contacted the ABA and they were great helping me come up with a system for expressing. I highly recommend continuing to breast feed if you can. DS has not been sick since starting daycare, and I've had two bad colds in that time.
I transitioned him by leaving him there for a hour or two after a feed, and then working up to leaving him there for a sleep, and then a feed and a sleep. I rang each time to see how he was going, and then talked with the carers on pick up. I found it much harder having him there on the days when I wasn't working, as I was thinking about him all the time. At work I am far too busy to stress, and it is honestly easier than I thought it would be.
I don't know how we'll go with separation anxiety yet, as that hasn't kicked in for DS, but I am hopeful that he'll accept his carers for that. He's in a small centre and there are only two carers there, and he's already starting to respond to them.
Posted 18 June 2012 - 10:26 AM
I just wanted to second KRT's suggestion that you try and continue BFing if you can...
DD started LDC at 3 months and was BF until 13 months - she rarely got sick, just runny nose etc in winter
DS started LDC at 4 months and was BF until 5 months when we gave up after a long bout of breast refusal - he has been sick almost constantly, I am actually all out of sick leave he has been sent home so much
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