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Toilet training a 4 Year Old Boy
3 replies to this topic
Posted 22 June 2012 - 02:19 PM
Hi ... I am desperatly after some help or advice.
My son will be 4 in August and refuses to toilet train at all. Will not wee or poo in a toilet. Will not even try.
I have tried alot of things but nothing works. We have tried bribes, musical potty, wee man. Daddy has taken him to the toilet unsuccesfully. He just refuses to even try.
I now feel like it has to be done. He is too old to be in nappies and needs to be trained. It is embarrasing and frustrating.
I have gone to the extent of having him at home in undies for a whole week. Only putting him in nappies for his day sleep and at night. He will hold his wee and poo until he is in a night nappy. My next step is going cold turkey and missing his sleeps all together so he hasn't got the opportunity to wait for his nappy. I have even had an occassion where he has held both wee and poo untl 6 pm (after not weeing all day) and i finally gave in and put him in a nappy. so I know he has bladder control.
Please help me ... I just don't know where to go next. Is holding out on nappies all together the wrong thing to do?
Posted 22 June 2012 - 02:23 PM
We had something similar happen. It is called toilet training resistance
I also found I didn't to up the reinforcement to ridiculous amounts. The first time we had a wee on the toilet I have ten chocolate coins. The next time nine etc but it worked and we were toilet trained in two days after battling for a year.
Posted 22 June 2012 - 02:38 PM
We had a later trainer too. Have you found his currency? We tried chocolate and that worked for a bit but what finally did it was a star chart with a skateboard at the end of it. I was amazed it worked but it did. We had a set back with poo a few months later so we offered an outing with icecream for no accidents all week - again worked like a charm.
Try your local health centre or library for a dvd on toileting - we got one for ds and it seemed to help. It was aimed at an older child rather than a young toddler like lots of the books.
I would talk to your MCHN or GP first - sometimes there is a physical reason or even a mental block.
I know it's difficult but do try to relax about it. My biggest regret is freaking out and getting so frustrated by it all - there was an external and internal pressure to get TT him and I wish I had ignored it. I felt embarrassed and judged for having such a late trainer but that was my issue, not his. Good luck.
Posted 22 June 2012 - 02:49 PM
You are just going to have to use undies & bear the consequences. But take him every 1/2 hr or hour if necessary, & eventually he will get the message. As for doing away with day sleeps, mine all stopped having one at age 4 so he might be ready for that.
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