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I don't want to move my 6 month old into her own room


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#1 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 23 July 2012 - 09:56 AM

My DD is 6 months old and has always been in a basinett in our room.
She has a few weeks at least until she outgrows as it is a large one, unless her rolling impacts on this.
She will then move into a cot, and this would easily fit in our room too.
I am starting to get a lot of questions about when we will move her out. Out of 14 in our mum's group I am the last to have baby still in the room and everyone else sees it is a normal progression that they move into their own room about now.
The issue is we don't want to- I love having her in our room, especially as she does not sleep through the night and I hate the thought of her being by herself in another room, it makes me sad (as irrational as this might be). DH agrees with me too.
Has anyone else struggled with this? When did your LO move into their own room and did you wish you had moved them earlier?

#2 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:01 AM

If it does not feel right to you and your DH, don't do it until it does feel right. Don't worry about what other people think- what difference does it make to them?



#3 boatiebabe

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:02 AM

I had DS in bed with me until about 6 weeks when I started transitioning him into our walk in closet (which I converted into a lovely nursery!). He stayed in there a couple of steps away from me until he was 3.5 years.

We liked having him close, he liked being close to us, so I could really care less what anyone else thought. And I have to tell you there were A LOT of negative opinions from friends and family about what we were doing.

I couldn't fathom that they would even comment on it.

I ignored them (actually I laughed at a lot of them) and did what was right for us.

I suggest you do the same!

#4 Freddie'sMum

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:03 AM

Honey if you and your partner are happy to have her in your room - keep her in your room !!

We had DD#2 in our bedroom until she was 8 months old - that was long enough for *us*.

Trust your instincts and keep her with you until you are ready for her to move, not some arbitrary date.



#5 daruma

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:06 AM

Hi,

Came here from recent topics.  My son just turned 6 and when he was a baby I didn't want to move him either so I put his cot in our room once he outgrew the bassinett.  And he still sleeps in our room.  Earlier this year we moved him to his own room when he goes to bed but He sleeps on his cot mattress on our floor later on.  He wakes up still and so I when he comes in he goes straight back to sleep.

Plenty of cultures do not have children in their own room.  As PPs have said do what feels right for you.  

#6 deejie

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:06 AM

If it doesn't feel right to you, don't do it.

I am also the last in my mother's group to have baby (7 months old DS2) in our room. Mostly in our bed wink.gif I try not to let other people's perceptions of what I am doing cloud my belief that I am doing the right thing for MY child.

For me, there is nothing better than waking up in the morning to DS2's big gummy grins and/or him gumming my face. Well, except for the enormous quantities of baby slobber left all over my face. But I digress!



#7 Halp

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:11 AM

....

Edited by Halp, 21 October 2012 - 07:20 PM.


#8 solongsuckers

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:11 AM

Do what you want to do and ignore what anybody has to say about it, it is none of their business where your child sleeps or why

#9 DontKnowDontCare

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:12 AM

Well, your friends would highly disapprove of me then!

Our son's bed is also in our room (just easier with a few issues we had/ve) and more often than not, he crawls into bed with us at some point during the night or early morning.  He's much older than your little one original.gif

We have had a few people disapprove of this arrangement, but they're not the ones dealing with the issues we are - when they are, they can feel free to comment and do things differently original.gif

That would be my advice to you original.gif

Edited by RillyBilly, 23 July 2012 - 10:12 AM.


#10 sasar

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:12 AM

My bub is just about to turn one and he's still in a cot in our room. I was really sad when he outgrew his bassinet at about four months so my DH just moved the cot in our room. It works for us because we only have heating in our room. No one has ever commented to me about it being strange but maybe they feel this way. To be honest I think I give off an aura of confidence about my parenting choices (not that I feel at all confident) and that stops too many people giving me 'advice'.

I feel I've been ready for my DS to move out for the last month now and he sleeps through consistently but we're moving house in two weeks so we're going to do it then.

Keep him in your room for as long as you're happy and just ignore people's comments if you can original.gif

sasar

#11 willow79

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:13 AM

There are no rules, do whatever you want!

#12 Fright bat

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:15 AM

Entirely up to you! DS1 was a loud sleeper. And we were more nervous parents. By six months, we were well and truly ready to have him out! DS2 is lovely and quiet, AND we're more chilled parents so we hardly hear him until he's properly awake, and even then he only wakes for a feed. I love having him close. And he'll go into a room with DS1 when he IS moved, so he will need to reliably be sleeping through before I'd be willing to move him. So he might stay with us longer. My best friend from mothers group lives in a 1 bedroom house until the last few weeks - so her DD slept in a cot in the same room until she was a few weeks shy of 3.

My sister and I each slept in our parents room in a separate bed until we were 4 and 3.5 respectively. And WE asked to have our own room.

Do what is right for you and your baby, OP! There are no 'rules' about these things.

#13 L!zz!e

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:15 AM

My DS was about 13 months old when we moved the cot out of our room into his own room.

My DD is almost 7 months old and she's in a bassinette in our room. She'll move into a cot in our room in the next few weeks and then eventually she'll move out and share a room with DS. Probably well after her first birthday I imagine.

Do what feels right to you and don't worry about anyone else says! It's your baby, your room and your decision! Enjoy!



#14 katbalou

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:18 AM

If you and your DH want to keep baby in with you, don't let anyone else make you think you're strange for doing it. You're definitely not.

My 3 children all stayed in a cot in our room until they transitioned into a bed, i.e. toddlers, between 2 and 3.  My last boy didn't want to give his cot up!  I loved having them in there - I can't understand people that say they are too noisy and stop them sleeping - how noisy can they be?  I put a fan on low every night (even winter just facing away) to create a bit of white noise.

When I had my first DS and doing the mum's group thing, I was considered strange for having the baby in our room at all, i.e. not having a dedicated nursery that I had decorated within an inch of its life.

#15 WinterIsComing

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:20 AM

OP,

I originally got a Boori cradle (bigger than a bassinet) so I would keep DS with us for 6 months, as per SIDS safety recommendations.

He outgrew it by about 4.5 months, so we just moved the bed to one side and found space for a full size cot, to last another 1.5 months.

So, he is 6 months now and I am nowhere ready to move him out. First of all, he still wakes frequently and I only need to pull him out of the cot, feed and put him back there asleep, falling into the bed myself. So, it is quite convinient, isntead of trodding off to another room in the middle of a winter night.

Secondly, he doesn't bother us. We play a low white noise for him, and it drowns out tiny sounds, so we all sleep peacefully.

And most importantly, it seems unnatural to put my young sweet baby into a lonely dark room all on his own. I sleep better next to him, there is a sense of peace, closeness and calmness. Both DH and I enjoy having him close to us.

And let's be realistic, by the time his cries would reach our room from his, he would need to be well and truly upset.

For us, I think, it wouldn't happen until summer.

#16 blithely

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:20 AM

Do what makes you most comfortable and don't discuss it with others.

#17 More cheese Gromit

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:21 AM

Our DS is just over 6 mths
We have no plans to move him to his own room until at least 12 months*probably later though*
I tell anyone who wants to give me grief that SIDS recommendations are rooming in for 6 to 12 months


#18 WinterIsComing

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:24 AM

OP, I would like to add, that these days I love waking up to see his silly face with a big gummy grin looking at me through the bars of the cot - makes me laugh every morning!

#19 Xiola

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:25 AM

Like everyone else has said, do whatever makes you comfortable.  I was also the last in my mothers group to move my kids out and now due to space issues we're all in a very big room together (partitioned with heavy curtains but with the cot on our side of the room) as we build our house.  My friends always 'tease' me about it but I couldn't care less and will happily have DD in our room until she's at least 2 and goes into a bed.

It's no one else's business original.gif

#20 Tammy Swanson

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:27 AM

QUOTE (boatiebabe @ 23/07/2012, 10:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had DS in bed with me until about 6 weeks when I started transitioning him into our walk in closet (which I converted into a lovely nursery!). He stayed in there a couple of steps away from me until he was 3.5 years.

We liked having him close, he liked being close to us, so I could really care less what anyone else thought. And I have to tell you there were A LOT of negative opinions from friends and family about what we were doing.

I couldn't fathom that they would even comment on it.

I ignored them (actually I laughed at a lot of them) and did what was right for us.

I suggest you do the same!

ha we did the same as DD was born in London and we made a little nursery for her in the walk in robe as we had a 1 bedroom apartment and I did not want her sleeping in the living room. when we got home people I mentioned it to were aghast at the thought of it, SIL even said 'jokingly' that it was child abuse  rolleyes.gif



QUOTE (blithely @ 23/07/2012, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do what makes you most comfortable and don't discuss it with others.

I agree. what do you even discuss it with others? It never ceases to amaze me how we can tie ourselves up in knots comparing ourselves and babies to what is being 'discusses' at the mothers group. do what is right for you.  My brother lives in Japan and it is quite normal to have kids in your room until 10 years old. Mr brother has his two kids in another room and has done since they were babies and they are always being told by their local friends that they are 'mean and cruel' for putting their babies in another room alone. so there you go.....

#21 Feral Snow

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:35 AM

SIDS safe sleeping guidelines are to have the baby sleeping next to the parents' bed for the first 6 to 12 months.  No need to move her out unless sharing is causing a problem for one of you.  So long as she's still feeding/waking at night then it's probably a lot easier to keep her close to you.

I shared a room with DD until she was almost 2, then she moved in with DH and I had DS and shared a room with him until he was nearly 2.5.

For a month or two DH and I shared a room and DD & DS shared a room but it's easier to settle the kids separately and we needed to shuffle around to move DS out of the cot in preparation for a new baby.

Now, DD 4.5 yrs shares a room with me and DS 2.5 yrs shares a room with DH.

Works well for us because I can't sleep in our QS bed without lots of pain since my first pregnancy because the mattress is too hard, but DH gets a sore back with a softer one (plus he snores which I find annoying).

#22 cinnabubble

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:35 AM

Our younger daughter was in our room until 18 months, partly because her big sister was such a bad sleeper. When she moved in with her sister, the younger one had no problem and the older one started sleeping better.

I just wouldn't discuss it with them. You make choices for your child, not your mothers' group.

#23 ausmumof2

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:40 AM

I moved my first DS into his own room at 8 weeks thanks to pressure from DH (one of his workmates told him if he didn't get him out of the bedroom now he would be in there forever rolleyes.gif )

DS began waking up more at night, screaming etc. and had lots of sleeping issues.  DD we just kept her in our room and she is much more secure etc.  though I must admit she still sleeps in there on a mattress on the floor, but she sleeps better that way plus it means we have one less room in the house to heat overnight.

Personally I think the closer they are to Mum and Dad up to 3 or so the better.  Other friends whose kids sleep in separate bedrooms earlier have the kids bedroom right next to Mum & Dad, our kids bedrooms are at the other end of the house.  I can't even hear my bub crying from our bedroom when he is in his (at five months) and don't have a baby monitor so there is NO way I would put him down there...

Do what feels right.

#24 mel43

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:40 AM

I saw this in recent topics, and wanted to add another vote for doing what you and your DH are comfortable with and screw everyone else original.gif

We moved both our girls into their own room/bed (we had a cot in our room, but DDs slept in our bed a lot too) when they were about 2ish. We had both of them in our room at one stage. It worked for us and when it was time, DDs moved without any fuss.

#25 Delirium

Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:43 AM

Why would you move your child into another room if you don't want to?  It sounds like it's working out for all of you so there doesn't seem to be any point in changing it at this stage...




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