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Over anxious DS - what can I do to help him?
4 replies to this topic
Posted 30 July 2012 - 04:11 PM
My DS will be 9 in September. He's a beautiful soul - sensitive, very caring, but tends to be a little anxious and at the moment I'm quite worried about him.
In the school holidays, MIL minded DS and 4 yr old DD and apparently they played hide and seek. DD hid under the covers on one of the spare beds. DS looked in the bedroom but didn't see her. He then got into a panic that his sister had got out of the house and gone missing. Apparently he was pretty hysterical and made my MIL drive around the block looking for her. All the while they're doing this, DD is still under the covers hiding They discovered her about 30 mins later and all was fine.
Anyway, since then DS has to know where his sister is at all times. At bedtime he checks on her 2 or 3 times to make sure she's in her bed. This morning I found him sleeping in her bed and he tells me he does this often 'to make sure she's safe'. Apparently he sets the alarm on his ipod so he can go back to his bed before I wake up! He asks me to check that the doors are locked so no one can come in and take her. I've said to him that it's lovely that he cares so much about his sister, but it's not his job to worry, that that's for mum and dad to do etc etc. He says he just can't get the worries out of his head. MIL minds DD each Friday and he wanted to have the day off school last week to make sure DD was ok
I'm just not sure what I should do in this situation. I can see he's in a bit of a torment and it's worrying me. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I don't know if I should ride it out and see if he settles down a bit, or speak to a GP about getting a referal. In all other respects, he's a normal, happy almost 9 year old boy that I've got no other concerns about, apart from this!
Any advice/suggestions will be much appreciated!
Posted 30 July 2012 - 04:21 PM
Can you explain to him that she is safe and not in danger etc he sounds like a smart little boy that will understand. maybe he has heard something or seen something on TV worrying him - I would sit down and ask him. My DD is almost 5 and worries about her sister (not to that extent) but she will tell DD2 who is 2 years younger to chew her food properly so she doesnt choke and not to jump on the lounge. All things we say and she hears us!!
Posted 30 July 2012 - 04:23 PM
Go get him a referral to a child psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist for a review. It can't hurt.
Posted 30 July 2012 - 04:25 PM
My son is only 1 day younger then yours, and sometimes doesn't get fiction vs fact when watching TV programs. Is it possible that he has watched something involving child abduction?
I would discuss the fears with him and see where they are stemming from. Possibly it's something you can work through with him, otherwise I would definitely get a referral from the GP to see a child psychologist or even a councillor to work through the fears and perhaps come to to root cause of it. And more importantly how to deal with worries and stresses in an effective way.
I think ignoring it or thinking he will grow out of it could have more serious repercussions long term, especially in terms of depression, anxiety and panic attacks.
Posted 30 July 2012 - 06:06 PM
My daughter has been having some issues with anxiety, and we are now doing the Cool Kids (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) program with her via a psychologist. Even after a few sessions, we are starting to see a positive difference.
I am really glad that we jumped right on it, rather than letting her worries build and build over time.
Good luck! If your GP refers you to a psychologist, you should be able to claim back some of those sessions.
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