Truth is funnier than fiction
*while observing me change the bedsheets
DS: "you have to do everything because you're the mum. When I grow up and I'm a mum, I'll have to do everything too"
Me: "you won't be a mum; you'll be a dad."
DS: "oh yeah. That means I won't have to do anything."
*rapidly followed by a lecture in equality in the home.
*after discovering DD had worms
Me: "they're like little bugs that make your bottom itchy. They're called parasites because they live inside you eating what you eat. You're feeding them... Like a pet!"
DD: "a bad pet. We won't be going back to THAT pet shop!"