|
|
Posted by Jeestar, 10/07/2012, 04:17 PM
Had my 12 weeks ultrasound few days ago and it never ceases to amaze me the pictures that come through. Even though I have been so unwell throwing up with nausea, this little being has been busy forming and growing inside of me totally oblivious to the turmoil it's causing me. Looking at the detailed outline of the babys face, and all the tiny bones already formed is totally amazing. All the bits and pieces were there and the scan came out all good.I watched with amazement at this baby lying on its back, arms up, and both feet jumping from the side of my womb. Already it's jumping about though I can't feel a thing!Even at 12 weeks, this being is actually a human being. It made me think of how could someone abort or kill life at this stage. It's a fully formed human already even at 12 weeks! My baby even opened and closed its mouth, kicking and punching the air. This one looks like a very active one with strong movements.The 3D pics were even more awe inspiring, as you could see the baby a little more filled out and slight facial features!The shape of this baby's head is similar to my eldest daughter. My second daughter had a totally round circle head! And now she has a round face! The eldest one has more slimmer features and thinner face.So now the ultrasound is done, I need to visit my OB tomorrow for the regular visit. Hopefully I won't have to wait too long.. Such a drag...Now at 12 weeks, the spontaneous vomiting and nausea has settled, but I still can't stomach a lot of food, and can't stand the smells of cooking or the fridge. My tummy still gets queasy during the night, and I do get the occasional retch, but it's a lot better than what I was a few weeks ago. Thank God.I can't wait for the pregnancy days when I actually crave food and eat like a horse......
Posted by Jeestar, 29/06/2012, 09:43 AM
How much worse can it get I wonder? First nausea, now I've got the cold from my DD's who pick it up from preschool and day care.Nights are sleepless from the running and blocked nose ( you can get that you know? One nostril streaming, the other one blocked) along with the ever relentless nausea.At least a lot of the vomiting has subsided, but the queasiness and acid....ugly.Had my birthday the other day. Hubby took me out to dinner and I could just manage the rice in Spanish paella. No chicken or seafood though. I didn't feel like celebrating cause I felt so bad and my tummy had played up the whole day.But it made me happy to see hubby eat so well and enjoy the meal.My folks and MIL have really stepped up and helped out a lot these last few weeks. Dad drives the kids to daycare and picks them up, and mum feeds the kids after school.I've got severe mother guilt cause I can't stand the smell of food, and can't feed the kids properly. I feel like they are wasting away when they are with me. Such angst and anguish I'm feeling right now. Feeling so helpless, useless and burdening everyone else around me.But so grateful for the extra help. Cause without them, I would be more of a mess than what I am now....I'm praying so hard that the nausea will subside.Man this cold is killing me. You can't think properly or do anything...useless......Next week is the NT ultrasound at 12 weeks, so have to do the blood test soon. Can't believe that I'm already close to 12 weeks! I'm excited to see the baby and how much it as grown. I guess that is my only ray of hope and happiness these days..My hubby just can't wait for the baby to be born. Pregnancy...ugh..Funny, my MIL said to me the other day, please don't have any more kids.....I agreed with her and said this was the last one, and she said, that's what you said after the first one!Didn't know whether to take offense or not, but went in one ear out the other.. Doesn't help to hold grudges against MIL. Doesn't help at all.....But I am sure that this will be the last one. You know how you just know?I'm always curious to note when families stop growing. It really does seem to be a natural process stopping at around two or three, although I do have one friend who has just had her fifth! She said she was embarrassed to tell people she was pregnant with fifth so stayed at home the whole time!I'm like whatever, if you can afford to look after that many kids and raise them happily and healthily, go for it!But I'm gonna stop at three. Anymore and it won't be good for anyone.....
Posted by Jeestar, 19/06/2012, 07:09 PM
I feel like I'm going through a dark tunnel of nausea with no light visible. Everyday is one step closer to ....what? More nausea? For ladies out there who don't suffer morning sickness, just know you are blessed. I envy you, I really do.Fortunately the stomach pain has gone, settled by antiacid pills taken from hospital, but the nausea is persistent and, seriously, nauseating.I try to think of the positives, you'll have a baby soon, this will pass once you hit 12 weeks, just one more day...... But it's hard, really hard. Too many times I break down and cry, being sick all the time is really depressing.I check my calendar as to how far along I am, only 9 and a half weeks. Damn, why doesn't time go faster.....I feel sorry for my DDs who have to spend extra days at daycare because I'm an invalid, my parents coming over everyday to help feed and bathe the kids, my hubby for putting up with the tears and search for a decent meal for me.The problem is I don't feel like eating anything. And the smell of food makes me retch.I sometimes wonder what DD preschool teachers are thinking of me, coming in pale and unkempt, trying not to retch. I don't want to tell them till I'm past the 12 week mark...I wonder if other ladies pregnant at my stage have told people. I guess I'm just that little more cautious post MC.....Why oh why is morning sickness part of pregnancy?it's the worst possible thing to have, day in day out.Oh well, back to my cloud of depression, tummy churning of an existence.... 
Posted by Jeestar, 11/06/2012, 05:20 PM
After three weeks of nausea, vomiting and unrelenting upper gastric pain, I couldn't take it any longer. Nothing seemed to help relieve the excessive acid release from my stomach, continuous nausea and retching. The nightmare never seemed to have an end. So on Wednesday night past midnight, I called my previous obstetrician's mobile. I had obviously awoken him as he groggily answered. In tears, I explained that I had my first initial appointment booked with him next week, but this pain and nausea was killing me. He asked a few questions, said to take some Panadol and come to his office tomorrow for an emergency appointment. What a darling. **Advice: you need an obstetrician like this one. The first thing he does when you meet him is give his mobile number saying ,call me anytime. And he really does pick up the phone, every time. He's awesome.  **Feeling a little less anxious, I took Panadol and the pain abated only for three hours, until I suffered another hour before I could take some more (4 hr intervals is the dosing).
The next day, I drove in tears to my GP to pick up the specialist referral form he had ready for me to give to my OB. My GP took one look at me and said," you need to go to hospital emergency right now". He wrote me a referral form for the local hospital and sent me off in tears, full of worry for myself, my DD's and the new bub growing inside of me.Thoughts were rushing through my head of fear, of what lay ahead, what I may have to go through..Should I go to emergency or go to my OB?I decided to go to my OB and be under the medical care of a dr I knew, rather than some random emergency dr in the hospital. Driving with tears streaming down my face, I got caught behind a stream of cars following a funeral car driving very slowly. I thought, how funny is this? People must think I'm crying because someone died and I'm heading to the cemetery. If only they knew....Finally I painstakingly arrived at the hospital where my OB had his consulting room. As I approached the secretary, I couldn't help the flood of tears and exhaustion from exploding from me. The secretary quickly got me lying down on a bed, and got me some Panadol and hot pack. My OB came in to see me,got out the ultrasound and to my relief, there was a healthy heartbeat inside the little jellybean sized fetus. The OB was happy with my fetus, but not happy with my gastric pain. He said I needed to be admitted into hospital, and I did not object. It had gone too far. The pain, exhaustion, and unrelenting nausea had taken the better of me.I was admitted into the maternity section of the private hospital and was immediately placed on a drip to rehydrate me, and intravenously administered drugs to help reduce acid secretion from my stomach, pain relief, and nausea relief. I was not allowed to eat or drink anything either.The next two days were spent retching, groaning in pain and was a total fog to me. I couldn't think of anything but the pain and agony I was in. My DH organized for kids to be picked up and looked after by grandparents, and took time off work to be by my side. After the second night, did some sense return to me. Constant rehydration through the drip, and IV meds kicked in. I gained some color in my face from yellow to pink, and I could actually stomach some dry toast and water. The stomach pain had gone! The end result was a mild feeling of nausea related to morning sickness not the tsunami debilitating waves.I asked the OB what he thought. He was still unsure of what I'd had, but thought it to be severe gastritis, or worse case scenario, an ulcer which I will have to get checked out via gastroscopy post baby. At the moment, it was all about using minimal drugs to relieve symptoms and protect baby.But there was more drama to come.....The third night in hospital my DH left me in good spirits as I was feeling much better and thinking I could go home the next day. I fell asleep only to wake around 12:30 am to go to the toilet. As I wiped myself and looked at the paper, there was a brownish tinge that I had not seen before. I wiped again and noticed more brownish- yellow mucus. My heart sank. Oh no, don't tell me this is the beginning of a MC. No no no no, this can't be happening to me. I went into total hysteria. The nurses could not calm me down, my hubby was called in at 2 am, I was a total emotional wreck.I blamed myself for getting sick, so I had to go to hospital, and get these drugs, and be so incompetent in pregnancy......... Negative, detrimental thoughts raced through my head as I contemplated the horror of losing another baby so soon to the last one. I was in a frenzy by the time hubby rushed in only to be squeezed tightly by him, and prayed for throughout the whole night. I begged for an ultrasound to see if baby was ok, but nurses said there was no one to do it at this time of night, and that they weren't too concerned about the discoloured mucus. They thought it was due to me lying down constantly for three days and vaginal mucus changes all the time. Nothing consoled me as I lay there on the bed silent, mute and depressed. Morning came after a sleepless night, and I phoned my OB again. He said not to worry, he'll be in to see me in the hour. Again, what a darling.He rang me an hour later and said to come downstairs to his office to get an ultrasound. Soothing and comforting me, he said ,"anything can happen to anyone at this stage of pregnancy, but don't worry too much because look, here is the baby's healthy heartbeat and it has even grown in the last three days too, whilst you were sick."Relief washed over me, the abdominal pains disappeared, my mind was put at rest as I saw that heart flash on the screen and the clear outline of a fetus was evident. Hello my little jellybean. So we went home exhausted after the drama of the night, less the cost of hospital excess on our health fund plan, but with hope and peace our little one was doing fine inside my womb.
Posted by Jeestar, 05/06/2012, 08:24 PM
The last four days have been spent in a fog of nausea, vomiting, stomach pain and retching. When will this torture be over? I'm so sick of being sick, not being able to stomach anything bar gherkins and dry jatz biscuits. Everything smells so strongly, the fridge and kitchen is one area of the house I totally avoid.Picking up the kids from daycare is torture, as is trying to feed them anything. My hubby say " one things for sure. It's going to be a hairy one!"It makes me laugh, but the pain in my stomach just does not go away. I think it's because I'm hungry, but can't eat anything sufficient enough. Even water makes me wretch.This all day morning sickness was one of the main reasons why I avoided pregnancies so close together. Three year gaps made me forget this torturous hell that I suffer for at least four months of each pregnancy. Why do we need to go through this torture?I so envy those ladies who never experience this nausea hell. What does that mean? Am I the weak one? The fragile one?Thoughts of self pity wash over me as the waves of nausea roll in once again. Unabating, Relentless, somehow worse at night near dinner time..I guess the only comfort I get is that the baby is still hanging on. Worries from the last miscarriage never fully leave my thoughts, so the fact that I still feel sick means I'm still pregnant . I pray for each day to go by quicker to get past the " danger period" of 12 weeks.How am I going to survive this? One day at a time I suppose. But this nausea is truly getting the better of me most days.....I ask my DD's to pray for me as they rub my back and ask " mummy sick? Tummy sore?" over and over again. My eldest DD keeps on saying go to Kevin ( our family dr) which is so cute! Hopefully this terrible period of sickness will be over soon, and look forward to the days when I can actually eat a proper meal again..Aargh , the mere thought of food has made my tummy churn.Gotta go hit the toilet bowl once again.....
Posted by Jeestar, 01/06/2012, 05:13 PM
Today was a free day for me once I left both DD at daycare. Was looking forward to a day of slothing around in bed, watching movies on my ipad. On the way back from dropping kids off, I had a sudden craving for a hot chicken and gravy roll at 9:30 am..... Hmmm, where could I get one? Would the chicken shops start early enough to cook chickens long enough so they are cooked properly and kill the salmonella......? Crazy hungry thoughts racing through my head made me divert the car to the closest local chook shop and order a hot chicken roll.Surprisingly there were fresh chickens cooked on the display and about 10 more turning around on the rotisserie. These guys must start early! My luck anyway! The lady was lovely and said " beautiful fresh chicken just out of oven!". That quelled my fears as my tummy rumbled for that fresh bread roll.Having scoffed down the delicious chicken roll, and quelling the morning sickness, I was ready to hit the sack.The bed never felt so good. I love my maternity body pillow that I got six years ago for my first pregnancy. Albeit a little flat having been used as border protection for my DD not to fall off the bed, it was still so supportive of my lower abdomen.i'm already feeling stretching and twangs in my lower belly. Sometimes it freaks me out cause it brings me back to dark miscarriage days, but other times, I know in my scientific medical mind that this was absolutely normal too. "dddddddrrrrriiiiilllllllll, bbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrr, bbbbbbbrrrrrr, ddddddddrrrrrilll" the bloody renovators on level 4 were drilling something into the ground and boring a hole in my head. Eerrrggghhh, I felt queasy, the bile starting to form in my belly ready to explode. Damn, they should have told us they were going to do noisy work today.then I would have slept at mums. Totally aggravated I made the call to strata begging them to stop this torture.Half an hour later, silence. Aaaaahhhhh, peace at last. I love you strata guys!But my tummy was not happy. " feed me hot chips" it commanded. " KFC or equivalent. "Totally salted and hot". No compromises here!Obediently I drove the car towards the local shopping centre, and decided to try out a " gourmet food" joint,which was basically just a chicken and chips shop. I had never gone in there, one because I couldn't be bothered parking near there, and two, because it looks a little dodgy... But I was surprised when I entered and found a meticulously clean shop with delicious fried food displayed, clean and fresh. Ordering hot chips small for $3.50, i was pleased to see that they were the old style, thick cut, raw potato chips. Yum.And were they goooood! Hot, crunchy with chicken salt, these au natural style chips seriously hit the spot! My tummy was satisfied. Evil bile fluid went back in his cave.Driving to DD preschool, I turned my iPod to Andrea Bocelli and shuffled the mix cause I love all his music no matter which order. As the tunes to " I can't help falling in love with you" played, I listened to the words and suddenly hot tears swelled up in my eyes and I got choked up with emotion.I thought of my darling husband as Bocelli crooned the words, " take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can't help falling in love with you...."Thoughts of us committing to each other, for life, making children and growing a family overwhelmed me as my pregnancy hormones surged through my body. ( note: any other time, this would have been so sobby and eye rolling!)  I guess with this third one coming, it made me reflect on how two people commit, falling in love, and result in new life and creation. awesome God!I am just so grateful to the Lord for blessing us with another new life. I truly believe God is the one who controls the giving of life. Anyway, lucky me , I'm back in bed writing this blog, whilst darling mother- in- law (mil) came over to feed two DD .....back to bed I go until the next command from tummy!
Posted by Jeestar, 31/05/2012, 08:08 PM
 After a huge Chinese banquet style lunch with friends, leading to severe indigestion and eventual gastritis for one week, I am totally flabbergasted to find the ultrasound to search for gallstones resulted in the discovery of a 6 week 2 day old fetus heartbeat in my uterus of 119!!:)Let me introduce myself, and start back a bit...My name is Lisa, aged 36, professional mum at home since first DD.
I have two DD aged 5 and 2. Another pregnancy was honestly the last thing on my mind.You see, I was recovering from an early miscarriage in April ( Easter holiday weekend) lost at 6 weeks. I was devastated, suffering from major abdominal cramps and bleeding. The thought I lost a child was disheartening. I was crying all the time, yet had to look after two young ones...I had personally decided that I was not going to have any more kids. Two beautiful princesses was satisfying enough, and I was getting too old(!)Anyways, after a month of depression, I snapped myself out of it through prayer and faith. Went on a family holiday to Cairns to refresh ourselves, and returned to routine life of preschool and daycare.Friends at church decided to have a Thankyou lunch for the sunday school teachers who sacrifice their time to teach our young ones the Word of the Lord. The Chinese meal was good, lots of courses and stimulating conversation. But tummy was not happy...It felt bloated, sore, and I was nauseous, vomiting, and totally adverse to smells. My DH is a pharmacist so brought every digestive pill, liquid, potion available. Never had I been so pill popping happy! But nothing worked.Went to my GP doubled up in pain, crying and carrying on. He gave me injections in the butt- maxolon, buscopan and morphine. They helped a little but the tummy pain and vomiting nausea just came back with a vengeance.He did ask me re pregnancy, but I had had a very light period less than two weeks back so I said it could not be possible.  He sent me to get an abdominal ultrasound to rule out gallstones or pancreatitis. On a Saturday, good luck finding a metro Sydney imaging place with appointment availability. thank God a lovely receptionist in Eastwood got me an emergency spot. Still writhing in pain, I had to take deep breaths for ultrasound near my gallbladder and wait. The lovely ultrasound lady asked lots of questions re symptoms, and after searching my GI tract, decided to just check down there just in case."aha , that's why you feel sick!" she says, showing a round fetus with heartbeat flashing at 119 bpm!I just started crying. I couldn't believe that I could be pregnant again so soon after the miscarriage. The feelings of joy, shock, surprise overwhelmed me. What a blessing from the Lord!Anyway, the morning sickness has continued, and any twinge and tug in my lower belly has me rushing paranoid to the toilet for any wayward sign.It's stressful but I'm elated as well, looking forward to another experience of pregnancy.The only dilemma I have at the moment, is whether to tell anyone other than family of my condition.... Praying that everything will be ok.Taking a day at a time, drywretching and hugging the toilet bowl, ginger and dry bickies only seem to help... 
|
Last entries
Search My Blog
|
