[prophetsong]

Hi all
I would like some advice in regards to DS's first birthday. I come from a huge family (my dad has 11 brothers and sisters). I would love to have a small celebration for his first birthday but no matter how I do it I am going to offend someone. His christening cost me over $1000 with food, drink etc etc and I honestly can't afford to do that again (I am a single mother and I'm only just going back to work this month).
Today I did a rough calculation of family members, their children, godparents, my closest friends (who had been so supportive through everything) and came up with over 40 people. This does not include his Father's family and I feel I should at least invite DS's grandparents aunts and uncles on that side too (which is another eight people). As you. An see it is already well out of control.
What I am wondering is if you think it would be in poor taste to have a BBQ at a local park and not an official party? Is it totally rude to say BYO meat and grog and I'll supply salads, dips, lollies, cakes, soft drink etc? I don't want it to be a present fest - DS got so much at Christmas that it looks like a toy shop vomited in my house. I was hoping that if it is not so much a party as a celebratory BBQ the. People will just come along, have a BBQ, play with the kids, sing happy birthday, eat cake And go home without the rigmarole of feeling obliged to buy a gift.
Thoughts/comments?

[3_for_me]

The people I know dont do big parties for small children, it seems to be a recent obsession and is getting stupidly competitive if you ask me. Why not just have a little party with a few playgroup friends or just celebrate at ome with just you and the grandparents. If you really must have every one then a barbequeis a perfectly acceptable celebration

[prophetsong]

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The people I know dont do big parties for small children, it seems to be a recent obsession and is getting stupidly competitive if you ask me. Why not just have a little party with a few playgroup friends or just celebrate at ome with just you and the grandparents. If you really must have every one then a barbequeis a perfectly acceptable celebration

I agree with you. The whole big party thing seems ridiculous for a little boy who couldn't care less about the day. My problem is where do you draw the line? Unfortunately my dad's family invites EVERYONE to everything. This sets a precedent and they are the type of people to b**ch and moan if I did not include them - irrespective of my reasons. So frustrating!!

[roses99]

I think if you had a big christening, it's completely unnecessary to do the big first birthday party. You don't need to do both. In fact, I think it's probably overkill.

If it were me, I'd just invite immediate family around to your place. Do you have an amicable enough relationship with your ex that you could invite him and his parents?

Either way, you definitely don't have to invite your own father's siblings and their families. Just recalculate based on immediate family and maybe your best friend or a couple of close friends.



This post has been edited by Bahodie: 16/01/2012, 11:09 AM

[3_for_me]

Well dont call it a party then, just say that you arent having a party this year since he is so little and wont appreciate it and then just invite the grandparents around for dinner and have a birthday cake for dessert

[aluminium]

You might like to consider what we did:

family and god-parents
1hour (stated on the invite)
serving cake and coffee only

People arrive, sing happy birthday, pose for pics, eat cake, drink tea/coffee, presents (if given, though we state not to bring any), leave.

Simple. Easy to clean up - esp if you have an urn and disposable cups. To keep costs down, I also baked cakes (cupcakes in our case) using Homebrand cake mixes (less than $1 per mix)

Edit: I also wrote on the invitation, "Come for cake to honour DD's first brithday"

This post has been edited by aluminium: 16/01/2012, 11:16 AM

[countrymel]

With that amount of people BYO everything seems entirely appropriate.

And a BBQ in the park sounds lovely.

"Dear *

To celebrate little prophetsong's first year we would love to see you at the * park for a catchup.

BYO everything!

No presents please just bring a big smile for the birthday boy!"

[Kwyjibo]

I really don't think that you need to invite everyone. I would go with PP's suggestion of a small gathering with immediate family.

I don't have a huge family so never feel obliged to hold big parties

But if you really do feel like you should be holding a big celebration, then the BBQ idea is a great one.

This post has been edited by Bernard: 17/02/2012, 01:22 AM

[namie]

I also think you could just have you and the grandparents and maybe some close friends/playgroup kids etc at the very most.

But if you absolutely must have a 'party' and include every man and his dog in your Dad's family (or never hear the end of it), then this is the way to go:

With that amount of people BYO everything seems entirely appropriate.

And a BBQ in the park sounds lovely.

"Dear *

To celebrate little prophetsong's first year we would love to see you at the * park for a catchup.

BYO everything!

No presents please just bring a big smile for the birthday boy!"

[Guest_- beach_baby -_*]

You might like to consider what we did:

family and god-parents
1hour (stated on the invite)
serving cake and coffee only

People arrive, sing happy birthday, pose for pics, eat cake, drink tea/coffee, presents (if given, though we state not to bring any), leave.

Simple. Easy to clean up - esp if you have an urn and disposable cups. To keep costs down, I also baked cakes (cupcakes in our case) using Homebrand cake mixes (less than $1 per mix)

Edit: I also wrote on the invitation, "Come for cake to honour DD's first brithday"

Brilliant idea, who doesnt love cake.

If someone told me to come over for a peice of cake they wouldnt have to twist my arm!