[wilderness]

Dd for way to many years to count has always been very aggressive. Always arguing with ds, hits, pinches, kicks, worst a few times been known to spit.

She will growl at us if she doesn't get her way, or making a gesture of a biting motion. Instead of talking and using a normal voice to figure out a solution she goes straight for yelling.

The moment we sit down for meals she starts yelling at ds to eat with his mouth closed. Which the only time ds has his mouth open is to take a bite or maybe to breathe if he has a blocked nose.

I am at my wits end, i have major stomach pains from the stress of my daily struggle. I am comforting eating like Tomorrow.

Over the years i have tried time out, punishments eg no tv. No matter what nothing has worked.

She can be a very beautiful girl, with an amazing humor and i always tried to remember these elements of her to get me through the bad times. But with the pain i am in now from the stress of it all. I am pushed beyond my limit now. Hard to see the beautiful things when your doubled over in pain.

She is mostly like this at home, or with mil at times. Rarely does this show in public. The only time i have seen her get angry at her friends is the Christmas school holidays where a friend and i spent most days together to let our kids play. So then she let slip a few times of her angry temperament.

There must be some professional i can take her to? I have spoken to my gp before about it and he just made a comment like i have 2 out of control kids (ds is a bit immature with socially, which is improving heaps with him being in school)


HELP!! I love her to bits, atm i just don't want to be around her.

[Sinister Bonnet]

Child psychologist could help. I'd also ask for a referral for a developmental paed--they tend to have long waiting lists and if the psych identifies more issues, you would have the appt sooner than if you do the referral then.

I'd wonder about sensory issues as well if the noises of someone eating set her off so badly.

In the short term, I'd feed her separately to everyone else so she doesn't get to act out.

[PatG]

How old is she?

[wilderness]

Dd will be 6 next month

[baddmammajamma]

Child psychologist could help. I'd also ask for a referral for a developmental paed--they tend to have long waiting lists and if the psych identifies more issues, you would have the appt sooner than if you do the referral then.

I'd wonder about sensory issues as well if the noises of someone eating set her off so badly.

In the short term, I'd feed her separately to everyone else so she doesn't get to act out.

Absolutely agree with Fancy & Epic.

wilderness, where are you guys located? Perhaps there are some parents here who could offer recommendations on child psychologists and/or developmental paeds. If you are in Sydney, I'd be happy to help.

There is no reason that you should struggle through all of this alone and be in pain over the stress. It's also unfair to your little girl to let the challenging parts of her behavior outshine all of the wondeful things.

Please seek some professional support. Your GP should be able to refer you to both a child psychologist and a developmental paed. If he is unwilling to do so, find another GP.

Good luck. I know how hard these situations can be.

[JustinsMumplus1]

Agree with PP see your GP for a mental health plan and a referral to a specialist.

You DD sounds similar to my DS.....we are currently seeing someone, have had 6 sessions and I am seeing improvement and it is great for strategies for me.

After trying everything with nothing working I have gone back to putting DS in his room if his behavior is not acceptable. He has to stay there for 4 min his age. It was very hard to start but I basically stood at his door for hours so he learnt there was not other choice:) he now knows what will happen if he plays up.

I have also read 123 magic which is good, and are currently reading a book called the explosive child by dr Ross Greene which is good basically says that like other disabilities our children don't know how to handle frustration so this needs to be taught.....punishing them is not helping this. I have only just started it but I would highly recommend it.

Good luck.....oh I have also seeked help through our council our child and adolescents mental health service camhs ......google it for your area .. This service is free as opposed to a private specialist for $150 hour where $80 is out of pocket u DDR the mental health plan or $150 without one. Anyway it is an option to look into if the private is not possible from a cost point of view.

Hth....just know you are not alone:)