[barrington]

I am so glad that DH's family all live > 9 hour drive away. As DH usually has to work during the Christmas period they have accepted that we can't travel up to see them for Christmas.

And my family is brilliant, my mum and sisters all come round to our house early in the morning to see my children open their presents. My sisters go to their boyfriend's families in the afternoon sometime. And then we usually travel on Boxing Day to see my extended family on my dad's side or see friends.

[Mianta]

I requested a 10 to 4 day shift on Christmas Day so that I can open presents with my babies and have a Christmas breakfast with them, avoid mil's Christmas "lunch" and then come home in time to have Christmas dinner with my little family

[knittingkitten]

Can I join in the seasonal angst?

My BIL/SIL won't spend Xmas with us because she hates me. That upsets my PIL greatly.
My DH's aunty won't spend Xmas with us or anyone because her children won't spend Xmas with her. This is despite the fact we are spending Xmas in their town to see them!
My ex-SM is discouraging my father from seeing her side of the family on Xmas Day because they are separated (even though they speak every second day).
And my darling brother isn't even sure where his kids will be on Xmas day because his ex-wife can't make her mind up.

[PubertyBlues]

I honestly don't know how you guys cope.

Being a child of two eldest children, when they got married, my mother laid down the law. Christmas Eve was Mum's side for a dinner (bring a plate scenario). Christmas Day was for immediate family (breakfast, presents, load up the cars and trailers for the trek to the beach for the rest of the summer). Boxing Day was Dad's side (at the coast).

It has always worked really well. I'm lucky (I think?) in that my MIL has been dead for 22 years, and DH is estranged from his Dad. So Christmas is always my way.

Equally, 5 years ago, I laid down the law and said that given that I was living in a city I didn't especially want to live in, and that he had kid-shaped baggage, that Christmas would never ever ever be a day, or a season, that would be split with him and the ex. I could just see MY Xmas being spoilt by some ridiculous notion that kids and parents must see each other on Christmas Day.

It's not nice for kids to be driving around all day seeing every member of the family. So we split the hols in half - one year we get them for Xmas etc etc, the next year she does.

It works well.

I think some PPs need to lay down the law a bit more! Or is it too late for that? Christmas is for family (especially kids), not driving!!!

[GWTW]

I think some PPs need to lay down the law a bit more! Or is it too late for that? Christmas is for family (especially kids), not driving!!!

I don't know about other PP's but our family problem is that FIL is trying to lay down the law, SIL is trying to lay down the law and we are trying to please everyone. My family in the past has been very flexible, but it creates all sorts of dramas as then ILs get used to having everything their way so that the one time we want something our way they kick up a huge fuss. Nope. this year is going to be my family Christmas and the ILs Boxing Day. Tough if they don't like it. I do think we need to come to a compromise and then tell people hwo it is. Maybe one year Christmas day the next not. Who knows.

[Julie3Girls]

I would like to go and spend Christmas with my family, which consists of 9 adults and 5 kids and lots of fun. I do not want to spend the entire day with just my mil and her husband.

Any chance of simply inviting the inlaws to spend Christmas with your family?

We started doing this a couple of years back - having my dh's parents join in with my family christmas. Worked out really well.

My biggest vent would be from a few years ago - inlaws decided to do the big all family thing on Christmas day (until then, it was always christmas eve or boxing day). So I had to tell my family that I wouldn't be spending Christmas day with them - I have a small family, and my girls are the only grandchildren, so take me out, and it becomes a very very quiet christmas for my family. Anyway, we arranged for my family christmas to be on Boxing day.

Then 4 days before Christmas (after my parents had booked in to a restaurant, my grandmother was going to the other part of the family), and I find out, by accident, that Christmas with the inlaws has been MOVED. To BOXING DAY! Apparently, "all" the family had been talking and everyone agreed to it, because one of the brothers would maybe by late arriving on Christmas day, and he preferred Boxing day. Nobody spoke to us to see if it was ok, nobody even bothered to tell us the change of plans.
I threw a hissy fit, and declared, fine, the inlaws won't be seeing me or the girls, because we already had plans on boxing day with my family.

Ended up with plans being changed back to Christmas day, but it wasn't the best day, as I was still incredibly hurt that we were so completely forgotten.

[Onyx]

Yup, really 'Tis the season!

My MIL wants to do lunch, as long as I bring all the food. She doesn't want my parents to come. Fair enough.

DH & I decided we would go and do lunch at my parents place and see his parents in the morning or at night.

Now, because MIL asked first - she should get first preference and we should WANT to spend Christmas lunch with her.

Because we're not going, we're the worst people in the world and she hopes we "Choke on our food"!

[~Jot~]

This is turning into a great Christmas venting thread. I want to get mine off my chest too!

We told my ILs we wouldn't be travelling at Christmas over a month ago, as I'll be 37 weeks pregnant, it's been a complicated pregnancy and I'm covered in itchy, uncomfortable PUPPPs (hives). We offered to have Christmas lunch here, which wasn't received well, or at DH's sister's which is around the corner.

We got a phone call the other day to say Christmas is at their house, 1.5 hours away and very hot. DH told them I couldn't travel and that I may have the baby earlier, and they said if I'm in hospital he might as well take DD and go there for Christmas. What kind of man do they think he is, do they really think he'd leave his wife and newborn daughter in hospital on Christmas day? I'm more hurt for him than anything, he's such a laid back, lovely person and to see him so angry is unusual.

Not as bad as some here but I desperately needed to get that out.

[Percy]

Another good reason for marrying someone not from the town/city/state/country that you grew up in!!!

We take in turns - his family here in NZ one year, mine in Perth the next. We're off to Perth on Thursday and can't wait

[bubba-licious]

I'm doing Christmas Breakfast at my house. I'm doing Christmas Lunch at my house. All relo's are invited if they come they come if not we'll see you next year...We're going camping leaving 25th Dec & coming home 1st Jan. Nobody bothers to try & argue with me... I can be a little bossy (In a nice I will not be walked over type of way)