[Kylie Orr]

As the silly seasons reaches fever pitch with Christmas parties, work dos, and other seasonal get-togethers, the need for babysitters becomes apparent. Finding someone to mind your children is not always a simple process.

Let’s get it straight from the get-go: I didn’t have children so I could palm them off to the closest, partially-willing stranger. But naturally, in life, there are times when you need to be somewhere that your children need not.

My sister got married earlier this year. I was the shiniest, most primped, tanned and painted looking 36-year-old bridesmaid you’ve ever seen thanks to some people who can only be described as miracle workers. Hiding eye-luggage, jelly belly, moon tans and leaking bosoms are no mean feat. A greater challenge though was finding someone to mind my children while I attended the wedding.

As it was a family wedding, my entire family obviously attended. That ruled out one side of the family. Some of my inlaws live far away and others are shift workers so although an option, it is an imposition I prefer not to request unless absolutely necessary.

I have many willing friends (hello, yes you know who you are) who would have come to my aid but in the end I settled for a friend and neighbour to take two of the four kidlets. I planned to take the baby to the wedding as she is still breastfed and I organised my eldest to sleepover at a friend’s house. Done and dusted.

Until two weeks before the wedding.

My friend called to say she had been offered an overseas trip and it would fall in the time she had agreed to mind my children. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking … selfish biatch. How dare she choose a free trip over minding my cherubs?

As I wished her well, I entered silent panic mode. The notice was late, which was unavoidable, but it was starting to look like I’d just have to bring the kids along. Not ideal when you want to throw your heels off and rip up the dancefloor.

We haven’t “broken in” a babysitter because up until now, we’ve never needed to. We don’t get out much and I don't like to ask for favours too often, so the few times we’ve required a sitter, there has always been someone around and available to help out. Paying for a sitter on top of the event or occasion you are also forking out for can become prohibitive.

I don’t have pent up issues about leaving my children with “strangers” but I knew I would not relax at the wedding if I was unsure how my children would settle with someone they didn’t know.

Older children are usually fine – they understand the concept of a parent going away and coming back, but toddlers are not always so easy. I know any friend I asked would have managed, and managed competently, no matter what my toddler threw at them. Bedtime antics, tantrums, missing mummy, whatever. The problem was, I didn’t want to leave him with someone knowing he would be upset, or cause them trouble. A girlfriend volunteered her services. What a lifesaver! She stayed at the house and minded the children on their own turf and played endless games with them, sang dorky songs, changed poopy nappies without gagging and got them to bed without a hassle. I had a lovely time at the wedding - that dance floor was ripped!

It did make me think though, who do you ask to mind your children when family are not an option? Do you pay a babysitter or do babysitting swaps with friends?

Kylie

This post has been edited by Kylie Orr: 08/12/2011, 10:39 AM

[ttjk]

My parents have passed, my siblings are interstate and my husbands family is overseas. I rely on paid help or my husband and I would never go out alone. So many times I have heard people say I would never leave my children to some stranger, I will only ever leave them with family. That is not an option for everyone. To make sure I get the best help possible I have two interviews with the person (on the phone and face to face), I check their credentials (police check, references etc) and if possible word of mouth from other people. I have a neighbour check in to make sure everything is okay. I ring home during the night and talk to my kids. I now have 2 women I use on a regular basis. 1 is a professional nanny and the other is a mother who I found via word of mouth. They live in my community. I also like paying someone. I am not worried about them getting home on time or where they have to be in the morning. We can enjoy ourselves not worrying if we are inconveniencing any one else.

[EssentialBludger]

No one. If we can't get any of our family (and there's lots of them, so it would be pretty odd if they were ALL busy), we don't go.

I will NEVER hire a babysitter from an agency or the like. I need to trust people with my children. I don't trust strangers.

[cinnabubble]

We don't have anyone, so they're not babysat.

[CrunchyNut]

My family never babysit! if we need to we pay someone so we never get out!

[R2B2]

We don't have anyone, so they're not babysat.

Same situation here, really.
i've paid a babysitter a couple of times (she's the daughter of my sons old daycare teacher) and had a friend watch my son once while I went in to have DD. but other than that....we don't leave our kids. (because we don't have people putting their hands up to babysit )

[Percoriel]

We belong to a babysitting club - its fabulous! Basically its a group of families (about 15) who all know someone in the group - you have to be referred by someone who has known you for a while. We have a points system - one point for each hour before midnight and two for after. (I think its earlier during the week). We all now know each other quite well as we also have regular get togethers like bbqs, or park afternoons.

If you need a sitter, you just email the group and usually have a response within 24 hours - we've never not been able to get someone to sit our girls.

Without them we too would never go out - it has been a marriage saver for us Plus my husband travels a lot for work so it means I can do things like sign up for a night course and not have to worry about missing a night if he is away.

[EBeditor]

We've only had one occasion where my parents couldn't babysit, we used the kids' favourite daycare teacher instead. It worked well, although DS took a while to wind down - but he does that even if one parent is out for some reason.

[as.I.am]

I just go without or suck it up and take the kids.

I don't have friends that I know and trust enough to leave them with my two, maybe if and when our relationships grow closer and stronger it will be something I'd consider.

Mostly I rely on my in-laws, but living 1 hour away makes it hard. I have nothing to do with my family so that is a no-go zone.

So, yeah, I'll turn to DH, or if he is working or it is something we want to attend together we either take them or don't go. Mostly we don't go.

[Pearlberry]

I've had to use friends on occasion whilst attending medical/dental appointments (couple of hours during day total). I still feel guilty for asking them, and very greatful for the favour. They all have family nearby so I don't get to reciprocate.

I certainly don't feel I can ask them to babysit for a night out or similar. Pressing necessity only.

(I tend to 'pay' in gifts of appreciation, flowers,etc)