[evalynnI]

My DD is 3, her birthday's early in the year. I don't know whether to send her to preschool or not as I have really mixed feelings about it.

On the one hand I think Yes because she drives me crazy at home all day every day and I think she would benefit from more structured mental stimulation. I know every parent probably thinks their child is the best, but I would just say that she is definitely not 'dumb' at all. I do spend time with her on various learning/activity books, she has a Leappad which has got reading/writing/mathematics games on it, and loves doing Reading Eggs on the computer.

On the other hand I think No, mainly because she is my little girl and I want to keep her like that and also a few of her friends that do go to preschool have undergone some behaviour changes - and not for the better. As in, I know kids take a while to get used to the concept of sharing and I would have expected this to improve if they are with other kids and sharing stuff at preschool - but DD's friends that go have all got worse. It irritates me so much and I don't want her to become like that - bossy, domineering, selfish, thinking that because she is older/bigger than someone else she deserves first choice every time.

I was having a discussion with another mum about preschool/kindergarten and if/when/where I was going to send DD to preschool. I said that I was thinking of not bothering and the other mum was quite shocked and said that it is almost at the stage where a child won't keep up in kindergarten if they haven't been to PS, because most kids DO go to PS.

Any advice anyone?

FTR, she loves playing with other kids and does so regularly, has no problems interacting with people of any age unless it's a stranger coming up to her at the shops to talk to her, say Hello or something - then she clams right up.

[annodam]

Who gives a rats ass whether kids go to Pre-School or not?

I never send my kids anywhere, just straight to school.

I remember DD couldn't even speak English when she started FYOS, she is now 11yo & had no problems whatsoever!
DS 3½ same deal, will be staying home until he starts school, although he is way more advanced than DD was at the same age.
It depends, I love having my kids with me at home, they're at school a long time...

I'm just thankful Kinders/Pre-School are not compulsory.

[froggy1]

I'm guessing you're in a different state, so when you say 'preschool/kindergarten' it's the equivalent to 'kindergarten/Prep' in Victoria? If so, I think it is a massive advantage for children to have had some time in a structured environment like kinder before they start school - any school teacher or kinder teacher will tell you that. The behavioural changes you are talking about in other kids might just be them developing independence and their own personalities as they get older - it's not necessarily because a kinder is doing a bad job. I found both of my girls started getting a bit cheeky around this age when they had never gone through the terrible twos. However, kinder did not harm their personalities - if anything it taught them a little more about how to make friends how to socialise and how to reduce their shyness. They are still lovely and well-behaved and my oldest is now in Grade 1. Kinder is wonderful for teaching children about how to share, how to follow a structured routine and how to listen to instructions from someone other than a caregiver. It sounds like she could certainly benefit from the stimulation. Perhaps you need more confidence that the great job you've done raising a good kid will not be undone in a few hours of kinder a week!

[BadCat]

Pre-school is utterly non-essential.

But your reasons for skipping it don't wash. Your child will grow up and become by turns obnoxious, sweet, caring, and a right royal pain in the a*se. You can't stop any of it from happening by skipping pre-school.

[Mrs305]

I think it's essential to get young kids interacting in a formal environment from 3yrs onward. DD was always a very 'stimulated' baby and toddler, did heaps of music, craft and sports programs from age 1 to 4yrs, and I was at home with her everyday doing reading, spelling, music and games activities as well. Similar to what you're doing OP.
But, honestly, regardless of how socially adept and 'clever' she seemed to me, it was only once she went to preschool/3 year old kindy that all her skills became sharpened and improved.

We were in Melb when she was your DD's age and at there was 3 year old kindy available (in a proper school environment, not childcare add-on - the kids in the class had to be 3 years old by 30 April that year and had a qualified kindy teacher). It was expensive and not available to everybody so you had to get your application in and it was first come, first served. We were lucky enough to get in and I noticed a huge leap in DD's skills across many areas. Yes, there were the initial crying episodes when I would leave but after 3 weeks she LOVED her 2.5hours at kindy twice a week.

What you said about the other kids being selfish and not sharing - that was never something I encountered with DD's kindy but maybe I lucked out with a good bunch of kids? If that had happened I would've seen it as a learning experience for DD and would have ramped up the talks I had with her about socialising and sharing properly.

You could always enrol her in a different school from the ones your friends send their children.

If you decide to opt out of anything formal at age 3 then I'd definitely be considering it by 4yrs. At that age you will no doubt find that she will NEED that extra mental stimulation

As someone who started school for the first time at age 5 and found it to be extreme culture shock, I can highly recommend gradual introduction from age 3 or 4. It would be especially hard if she was the only child not having had any preschool in a class of kids who had all 'been there, done that'.

[Linza555]

As much as I wanted my boys to stay at home for as long as possible before they were going to primary school 5 days a week, it has and will help their transition. Social interaction in a class like environment you can't provide at home, and also takiing direction from people other than parents I found important to. At the end of the day its totally up to you the parent/s

[BronR]

Not essential.

But I would be seriously considering it for next year if I was going to send my child to school the following year. I know you said her birthday is at the beginning of the year but not sure from that if it means she will go to school in 2014?

I agree with BadCat

Your child will grow up and become by turns obnoxious, sweet, caring, and a right royal pain in the a*se. You can't stop any of it from happening by skipping pre-school.

[red_squirrel]

No, not essential.

neither of mine have gone.

[MakesMeHappy]

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In WA Preschool is mandatory from next year. Heard it on the radio.

Can you please tell me what 'pre school' is? Is it pre primary?

[evalynnI]

Pre-school is utterly non-essential.

But your reasons for skipping it don't wash. Your child will grow up and become by turns obnoxious, sweet, caring, and a right royal pain in the a*se. You can't stop any of it from happening by skipping pre-school.

Yep I know that and although she is mostly a very happy, caring and helpful little girl, she does drive me nuts some days and I just want to scream. I guess I was a bit shocked at the major changes in some of DD's older friends, which coincided with them starting preschool. I wasn't at all trying to blame it on the preschool though - up to the parents to correct that sort of behaviour, and I know that DD is also not a shining example when it comes to sharing.

I'm in NSW, BTW.

Thanks for the replies, it does help to get other peoples experiences with their own kids, those who have sent them and those who haven't. I'll have to make a decision fairly soon if I want to send her next year.