[Becky Thatcher]

Inspired by FluffyOscars post

Real life sex scenes? So like, the kids come in? Her mobile rings and she answers it? His performance falters and they have a "discussion" about how it doesn't matter? He sleeps afterwards and she kicks herself for not buying that cockring from the vending machine in the caravan toilet block? Oh, not really real life...

How about...they bump teeth in the dark..his head hits the headboard... her elbow hits the bedside table...he watches the footy during it...the dog/cat watches...

Any others?

[FemboFerretOfDoo...]

How about... he kisses his way down her body, and she squirms desperately, trying not to let out the fart that she's desperate to do...

[credence]

...and then, after coming to climax doggy style, he falls on the bed, as does she, releasing a queef of air.

[Pooks*potters]

How about... The baby starts crying and they stop, go silent for a moment, he looks pensive then says... I just want to make sure- You haven't missed the pill any time this month, have you?

[HeroOfCanton]

or after collapsing on the bed, they glance over to check the sleeping 6-week old in the sidecar cot & realise his eyes are wide open

[Kwyjibo]

Trying very hard not to giggle when the queefing inevitably spoils the moment.

Waiting for him to climb out of bed and clean himself up and then positioning yourself on whatever side of the bed doesn't have the wet spot.

Pretending to be snoring your box off when he comes back in the room and realises just what you have done

This post has been edited by DonutHead: 21/08/2012, 02:35 PM

[Excentrique]

Standing - he complains he has a backache now, and can they please move to the bed? Or having to reach for the lube 'cause sorry love, your a bit dry and I'm starting to chaff.

[redkris]

Don't forget the sudden "Gah! Get off me! GAAAHH!" when one of you gets an excrutiating leg cramp.

[Ireckon]

Don't forget the sudden "Gah! Get off me! GAAAHH!" when one of you gets an excrutiating leg cramp.

Or cramp in the toe next to the little toe!!

How's about, he jumps out of bed to flick the lock on the bedroom door, they get right into it and then the 4y.o. knocks on the door, realises its locked and proceeds to have a meltdown right outside the door because he can't come in for morning snuggles. They look at each other and contemplate continuing in SPITE of said tantruming 4y.o.......but realise that to do so would be a futile attempt.

OR.....in a moment of pure lust, they get passionate (again, said door is locked) only to have 8.y.o. knock on door saying 'are you finished in there? When are you coming out?"

[BadCat]

"You coming to bed?"

"Nah"