[Eviesmum]

I am not sure how to tackle this.

DS will be 10 in December and in the last 6 months I have noticed a real shift in his personality.

He is often moody and grumpy, he challenges me on very small things often I think just to see if I will back down or what will happen (such as if I tell him it is time for bed he wants to know why I have explained to him why we have set a certain bed time on numerous occasions but he is not satisfied with my answers and gets into a terrible grump)

One minute he is quite pleasant the next he is in a filthy mood. For example yesterday at the shops I took them to National Geographic to take a look and he enjoyed looking at the things he could save up for. Then when he left he got sullen and quiet when I asked what was wrong he said that there were so many things he wanted it would take ages to save for them all (he gets $2.50 pocket money to spend a wekk and $2.50 in a savings account) I explained most people cannot buy everything they want the minute they want it and we all have to save for our goals he went quiet then and decided on his usual passive agressive approach saying "Mum I dont want any lunch today" thinking this might force a confrontation. He does this quite a bit. If he has gotten himself into a mood about any small thing say before dinner time he will say "I dont want dinner" so I will not play along I say fine thats ok you can have an early night. He has a little think and comes out with a toy or something recently bought and says "I dont like this anymore you can give it away" or "I dont want to go over to _____ house for a play anymore" and keeps coming up with things in the hope he will get a reaction. IF I eventually bite he will say "but I wasn't doing anything I just don't want dinner"

He answers back often and will sulk in his room for ages. If we are on a playdate and he is told that they have to play outside not watch television he will just sit on the step refusing to answer his friend or me or just walk off on us.

He can be utterly lovely but it is few and far between he is morphing into someone I don't recognize. I want to help him but am not sure how. Is it too early for it to be puberty? I always say things like "This isn't like you if anything at all is bothering you you can always tell me" I try to keep things light and just let him sulk but half a day of moodiness and being grunted at is becoming a bit more than I can take and sometimes I snap at him.

Oh my this did turn into an essay (Excuse the spelling errors) Can anyone offer advice or a book I can read or something I can do to help him through this time. I have no idea if I am even handling it correctly.

THanks if you read all of this.

[~A2~]

I have a DD who is now 11 but who also had similar behaviour to your DS.

Especially the one you mention when friends come around, I notice now some of her friends do the same thing but she does not.

Still occassionally does some of the stuff you mentioned but is a lot calmer and I with her worked it to be a cyclic thing.

She is a lot calmer now, still has her moments (but we all do don't we).

This won't help much with info/advice but just wanted to say that I too was concerned with this was happening for us so wanted to say that it has gotten better for us.

Ali

[Eviesmum]

Thanks for your reply it does help to know that I am not alone sometimes it can seem you are all alone in it

[babybell]

Hi

Just wondering how your son was going? My DS will be 10 in August and your posts makes my son sound just like yours. So wanted to see if he has improved and also he had what you did. Thanks

[usand3]

Wow...My beautiful, lovely DS1 (who will also be 10 in August) sounds exactly as you have described. It absolutely does my head in, he also answers back/rebutts every single thing that i say, i'm finding it exceptionally frustrating, although make a concerted effort not to bite! Glad i'm not alone The most frustrating bit is that he can be such a lovely kid, other parents/teachers always remark on how beautifully behaved and mannered he is!!!

[chelba]

My DS1 was 10 earlier this month, for the last 3? months he has turned into this emotional, unrational person I don't recognise. I am wondering if any strategies that I and DH can use to help us through this stage.

[smultron]

Wow! thanks for posting this as I was in tears after school drop off this morning due to my sullen 10yo DS. He had a project due today that he's had 3 weeks and lots of encouragement and prodding and reminders from us to do.. he's finished it but this morning as we're walking out the door to school, he is crying and blaming his younger brother for losing his USB stick that he was going to save his project on to.. arrggh.. I'm getting riled and saying well you need to be more organised, etc etc but he was out of control and then he threw his shoes onto the wet lawn so eventually by this time we were going to be late for school so I drove them and he just sat on front step- I was furious (ready to burst a vessel tbh!)so I drove off (like a 2 yo having a tantrum I know I know- a great example) in a rage then went back for him. I hate mornings like this but he used to be so sweet and is also now challenging us and trying to get a reaction by refusing breakfast etc like OP's DS.

can it just be hormones surging through their bodies?? I've been blaming testosterone since all my boys were about 4yrs old!

My DH got really angry this morning as he was leaving for work as the 10yo was sitting at table with the hood of his dressing gown covering his face and head on table. I'd asked him to sit up and eat breakfast and when he didn't, his dad got cross too and it all went off this morning so now the ipod and any electronic devices are banned etc! not a nice way to start the day and I know it will be similar tonight and after school- what to do anyone? Sorry OP to bombard your post- hope someone is able to help with advice to help you (and me sorry!!)