[credence]

Each year at Christmas I end up spending a lot of money on gifts for the children in my extended family. Conversely my kids get gifts in return.

With gifts, I've always thought "It's the thought that counts", but at Christmas time, it's so overwhelming spending so much money at once, I feel as though not a lot of "thought" is behind the gifts given and received.

It's kind of like you buy a present for people because it's expected, because they'll undoubtedly buy a gift for you and/or your children. It's an obligation, not a joy.

Ultimately what ends up happening is because I've spent so much money on other people, I barely spend any on my own kids. When my oldest was a baby, I don't think I bought him anything! Also we end up with a whole bunch of toys that my kids don't like or need.

The whole thing feels like such a waste and it really gets me down.

This year, I'd like to somehow let people know that I do not want any gifts for my children and in turn I will not be buying anything for theirs. With the money that I save, I'd like to buy my kids a few awesome presents.

Has anyone done something similar? How have your family members reacted?

[Broxie]

I'd suggest organizing a secret Santa with your extended family so there are still gifts, but not ridiculous amounts. You could put a spending limit on it too.

[credence]

I've thought about secret santa, but it's not really doable as there are so many separate sections of family that do not cross paths.

[Blueblue]

For the last four years I have not been buying gifts for my children (hey they're little and dont care) and they have just gotten gifts from extended family. Cant do that anymore as they are more aware and will expect something.

[Rosie R]

I'm hearing you Credence, I dread christmas shopping and gift giving has become expensive and mostly is a chore.

What ever happened to spending the day with those you love and appreciating that?

I'll be following this threat for some tips myself!

[niggles]

When we got together with extended family at Christmas time one of the uncles would hand out gifts dressed as Santa, from 'all the family'. In reality, each parent would bring a wrapped present for their own kids and pop it on the pile.

It was a good way of making the shopping easier whilst maintaining the spirit or exchanging gifts with the people in our lives who we love but don't see often.

I wouldn't like to lose the exchange alltogether in order to just buy more gifts for my kids. They get gifts from us already.

[credence]

For the last four years I have not been buying gifts for my children (hey they're little and dont care) and they have just gotten gifts from extended family. Cant do that anymore as they are more aware and will expect something.

My kids still all believe in Santa and I would love it if they thought that Santa brought them something that they really appreciated, rather than a whole lot of toys from family that get tossed aside by boxing day.

[lifehacker]

Yep, about 5 years ago I told sister and brother no more presents. It's so much easier for everyone and honestly we were all just creating stress, spending money we didn't have and giving each other stuff we didn't want/need - it was so stupid!

I don't give Mum and Dad presents anymore - I put together a small hamper of homemade baked stuff.

We send a card with a family photo in it to the inlaws (interstate).

Dh and I are giving each other ceiling fans this year (we were buying them anyway).

I have just made a note to get dh to tell our friends (the only ones were were still buying for) that we wont be buying this year and we would like them not to buy for us/our kids.

We buy for teachers(they are awesome!) and our kids - that's it.

[tle]

We stopped the gifts for neices and nephews last year and it has made Christmas so less stressful and affordable.

For us it got so unmanagable I just didn't have a choice but to say it needed to stop. My brother has 9 kids which is hard enough to buy for my SIL insisted that we also start buying for the kids boyfriends/girlfriends as well as she considered them part of the family. While I agree it's fine for them to buy thoses gifts we were talking about people that I may never have even met so I didn't want to do it. She also stipulated that we spend $30 on each gift but they couldn't afford that so my mum was having to buy the presents that brother and SIL gave my kids. In the end I just said "no more". It caused a few dramas at the time but now we all find Christmas so much more relaxed.

[prettypenny]

I'm going through the same emotions here. I'm floating the idea of a Kris Kringle for the kids (we already do it for the adults). I currently buy for 6 nieces/nephews and KK would bring down to 2. It's not so much the expense but the wanton consumerism. The kids end up mindlessly opening presents only to quickly discard them after a cursory glance for the next.

So sorry OP, I can't help you either but I'll be watching this thread.