[mum2jp]

Hi,

Just after opinions with a daycare situation. I recieved my DS (23 months) portfolio last week from daycare. It basically has artwork, photos and stuff and a developmental checklist. The thing is on the checklist in the language, cognitive and social areas DS has been marked as still developing for basically all areas. He has a huge vocabulary and talks really well, labels objects, asks for things, uses short sentences 3-4 words ect. I haven't had any concerns about his language at all. He goes to playgroup and he engages with children and other mums there (though he has known them since birth so is very comfortable there). The staff have made comments before when hearing him talk to me on pick up that he doesn't use his words at care and ask for things, i put it down to shyness. I told them he has lots of words and is capable of using his words and asked them to please encourage him. So now i have this checklist that says he basicaly doesn't talk at all, doesn't engage with carers or peers so i am realy worried about how he is feeling at care and if he is coping socially. He has been there all year so should of developed a relationship with peers and carers by now. He tells me kids and his teachers names at home when i ask him about school, so he knows who is who. He doesn't cry anymore whe i drop off i settle him into an activity and he says bye. He is usually playing alone when i pick him up. Next year he will move up to the next room out of the babies room with more kids so if he isn't coping now im worried he will be more withdrawn in a larger group.

So on one hand i think what the checklist says doesn't matter i know that he can talk and his langauge is ok but on the other hand i feel concerned that he isn't acting like his normal self at daycare as is not engaging with anyone just playing alone.It makes me sad to think he is unhappy, doesn't have fun playing with the other kids or doesn't feel comfortable to ask for things like a drink ect at care. I don't know whether to say nothing or to ask to talk to them about my concerns and how to express my concerns without seeming like one of 'those' parents. You know the ones who think their kids can do 'everything' and none of it is ever seen by the teachers. TIA

[tle]

I think if you have any concerns you should talk to them but I would be very surprised if any 23mth old baby was anything other than "still developing". What you've described sounds like perfectly normally behaviour for a child that age.

[mum2jp]

Sorry my post wasn't clear. The checklist was mostly the things that he can do that i listed. So on the checklist in was either achieved- meaning he can do them or 'still developing'- meaning he can't yet do them and is still developing thoses skills. So the checklst reads that he is not actually yet doing the average things for his age. So that and the comments about him not talking just have me worried i guess as its out of character for him to be not engaged and not talk.

[jobo77]

How many days a week does he go? I had similar comments about my DD (not in writing, just in person at pickup) about how she doesnt really interact with the carers and is quiet around the other kids which I found surprising as she is very loud and talkative at home and with her cousin. She has gotten a lot better now apparently and that is after nearly a whole year in that room going 2 days a week. She just tends to take a while to warm up and feel comfortable. I am a bit worried about how she will go next year as most of her friends there are going off to school
Perhaps your DS will go better next year being with the older kids too - if he is still in with the babies there probably isnt a lot of ways for him to really interact and show his abilities if the others are still behind him in development. I think with lots of kids to watch, the carers can probably miss things which is why they havent noted it. It sounds to me that he feels quite comfortable there if he isnt crying when you drop him off and plays happily alone. Most kids don't start to really play with each other until they are a bit older anyway.
Personally I wouldn't worry about the checklist - you are his mum and you know how he is doing is fine. Once he is in the next room, you will probably find the next report to be completely different!

[lynnemine]

OP - DD1 started daycare after she turned 2, and for the first ? almost year, she'd just follow the carer she'd attached to round and not speak. She'd play beside other kids, but not really with them.

When I'd pick her up, they would be shocked how "alive" she'd come and how chatty!

It just took her a while to settle in - now she goes 2 days a week, and when she is there, the girls do what she wants - she is one of the best speakers in the room (3 yr old kinder), super confident, very good at writing, language etc. She is a natural leader, and now they laugh because they say she talks all day!

The checklist I got last year was rubbish too - the things on there, checked off when she was 3.5 were things I knew she'd been doing since she was 2! Don't worry about the checklist - it sounds like your little one is developing just fine, maybe is just shy or a quieter child.

[mum2jp]

He has been going 2 days since the begining of the year. He is actually one of the younger children in his room (1-2) room and next year will be probably the youngest at just 2 in the 2-3 room. He will move up with some of the kids from this year but there is alot more kids in the older room where his group now is much smaller.

[lynnemine]

I think he sounds fine - my DD's weren't that good at vocab at just 2 and they are really good now at 2.8 and 4.4.
If you are worried - speak to the daycarer - but as you say, he is interacting fine at playgroup.