[pinkcupcakes]

these are some of my all time faves:

1.whats the diff between broccoli and snot?a:kids dont eat broccoli!

2: what's yellow, brown and hairy?a:cheese on toast dropped on the carpet.


3: a guy goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a girl on his back. when asked what he was supposed to be, he replied, "i'm a turtle, n this is michelle!"

4:what did tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? "look, here come the elephants over the hill!"

yeeeeeeeees, corny, i know. but i cant help it, they make me laugh. anyone got better ones?

[lazycow]

One of my kids' favourite.

Want to hear a dirty joke?

A boy fell in the mud.

Want to hear a clean joke?

The boy had a bath.

[kez71]

whats brown and sticky?
a stick

how do you make a bear cross?
get 2 bears and nail them together

why did the koala fall out of the tree?
it was dead

why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
it was holding onto the first koala

what do you call a man with a spade?
Doug

[pinkcupcakes]

why did the koala fall out of the tree?
it was dead

why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
it was holding onto the first koala

what do you call a man with a spade?
Doug

why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree? it thought the others were playing a game.

hehe what do you call a man in a pile of leaves?Russell!

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef.

[Sunnycat]

What did the policeman say to his chest?

You're under a vest!

I heard it when I was 5 and it's been my favourite joke of all time ever since.

[Barefoot]

How do you shoot a blue elephant?

Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a red elephant? (pause while waiting for them to say red elephant gun)

Hold his nose until he turns blue then shoot him with the blue elephant gun

[causeway]

What's red & looks like a bucket?
A red bucket!

Why were the bakers hands brown?
Cause he kneaded a poo.....

The second joke I heard from a very confident 4 year old who came up to our table and introduced himself & told us a joke!

[Leggy]

What do you call a guy in a deep pool?
Bob

What do you call a guy with no shovel?
Douglas

A little known fact about Jerry Bruckheimer, the action movie director, is that his first love is actually classical music. So when he was sufficiently famous, he called together his leading men and pitched his idea to them: an action movie about the lives of the great composers. To his joy, they all start nodding and speaking up: Bruce Willis says how he's always admired Mozart and if he can play Mozart he's in. Sly Stallone professes a great love for the music of Handel and asks to play him. Steven Segal jumps in and says that he'd be honoured to sign up to play Brahms. They all turn to the last man to speak, Arnold Schwatzenegger, and he just nods curtly and says, "I'll be Bach."

[Escapin]

Hahaha, these are terrible. Just my sort of thing But of course now I can't think of any myself to add to the list

[noi'mnot]

Why couldn't Eric ride a bike? Because Eric was a fish.