[I'm Batman]

I realise there is no right or wrong answer for this type of thing, but Im curious as to why so many people delay telling their children about puberty and sex.

It hasn't come up much but our children do know about sex, from a young age, and about child birth. I fielded a few curious questions when I was pregnant. I am the type of person who will try to answer any question my children ask me the best I can and then point them to a webpage explaining in detail. If I can answer the questions openly and not be embarrassed they will understand there is no need to be judgemental about human sexuality.

IMO if you introduce a concept early enough they accept it easily. They also come to you for information when they need it, or trust you to point them in the right direction.

I also broadly plan on introducing concepts like respect, no means no, and contraception when they are old enough to be in a relationship.Also want to try to outline that sex, masturbation,are normal and healthy when I believe they are old enough to understand that message.

SO basically I plan on breaking down all the information into chunks that I feel are relevant tO their development at that time. Not a single talk, but many.

I do remember the puberty talks at school, they were fairly formative to me, we roared with laughter at the video but the basic information I found useful for the rest of my life.

Why do other parents delay? Are they worried about overloading their child?

This post has been edited by I'm Batman: 29/11/2012, 10:26 PM

[howdo]

Because it's embarrassing to talk about

Because the child doesn't ask and if you were waiting for them to ask so you knew what they were ready to hear that's a fail ...

Because the children are too small the last time you were pregnant to really even notice, care or ask questions

Because the child runs screaming in the other direction when you attempt it

Because time went by and now holy crap they are 12!

[JRA]

Certainly one reason is that children don't want to hear too much sometimes.

[SoxyMama]

Okay I'll bite. My daughter is 8 and I have no intention of telling her, unless she starts to ask or starts going through it early. She suffers from anxiety disorder and to tell her, would mean she would probably then over-worry about it all unnecessarily. Whilst she hasn't asked about sex, I find no reason to explain it to her. However, she does know some basics about babies and how they are made. As I had a hysterectomy and explained what had happened, and what it meant. As they asked and asked directly if it meant I could no longer have babies, and how and why. So I explained the minimum of what I felt they needed to know by that age.

[I'm Batman]

My mum never talked about sexuality or puberty at all, actually there was very little I could talk to her about. She has some very religious and puritanical ideas at times.

The school talks were fantastic, the information was really clearly put forward to me.Im glad she let me attend. The fact it wasnt laced with embarrassment probably helped more then any cringefest my mother would have attempted.

This post has been edited by I'm Batman: 29/11/2012, 10:33 PM

[Lees75]

DS (9)read all about it in his kids' body book, so we have never really had the talk. DD (6) asked me the other day how the baby got in the mummy's tummy. We talked about special cuddles, but no, she wanted details. So she got details- lol! Her response, "ew, I'm never doing that!" XH was very happy- lol! But she wanted to know tiny detail, so we even drew sperm/eggs, talked about X and Y chromoses, etc. while DS sat on the couch, pretending to read, but with his ears wide open

[strawberry blond...]

I think my children are probably too young to understand. My 6 yo DD knows that you have periods when your body is ready to have babies and you get hair when you become a lady. All 3 of my girls don't know how babies are made, they think daddy gives mummy a seed and it grows into a baby. For now this will do for me, they don't probe further and seem happy enough with the little they have been told. I will be more than happy to tell them anything they want to know as they get older.

[antigone_]

It's funny, but I don't get really embarrassed talking about it.

My BIL nearly died when his 5 year old daughter asked him what sexy meant (Gangnam Style video sparked the question) and didn't answer her. When my son of the same age asked, I told him it meant she's a pretty lady to that man, and my seven year old son I said "It means that man finds he attractive and he might want to be her boyfriend."

Sex I reduced to two elements when my 7 year old asked - mechanics and love. Ok, so my cheeks might have flushed a little when I said the bit about the penis going into the vagina, but that's about it.

I said it matter of fact, unashamedly and he got a little embarrassed so we moved on. I take my cues from the kids but never ignore them or tell white lies to save embarrassment. I don't want any of my sons getting anyone pregnant before their time!!

[I'm Batman]

So is it simply that they dont ask, and you dont want to scare them with the details. I do realise youve got to Strike a balance between telling them everything and not telling them anything at all.

Those who say seed, and egg is there a reason why you say that instead of sperm? Is it something you feel they will understand better. My eldest who is 8 asked me questions about childbirth and what it felt like, maybe 3 or 4 times so I found a video of a birth that I felt was suitable and showed him. Kourtney Kardashian giving birth to Mason, which is a beautiful peaceful birth.

I'm not judging anyone (despite all my questions), human sexuality and sex educational is handled differently by everyone to suit their family and child, as it should be. My chidlren are the types who ask a bazillion questions about everything and want to know details, so I feel if they are old enough I am obliged to give them real answers.

This post has been edited by I'm Batman: 29/11/2012, 11:07 PM

[JJ]

Because the child runs screaming in the other direction when you attempt it

Yeah, I have one of those too. So really, there wasn't much to be done until they covered it at school and he was made to sit and endure it. We've always encouraged questions and discussion etc., but to force the issue when he was younger would have caused unnecessary anxiety and embarrassment. He actually did ask at one stage but then decided that no, he didn't really want to know more details just yet.

My 8yo on the other hand has known most of what there is to know since she was 5 (there's just a few things we haven't "covered" yet), and is extremely pragmatic when it comes to all things sex-related. She rolls her eyes at her friends who think sex is a naughty word or something to giggle at or be embarrassed about. She's more interested in the science and mechanics of it all.

So yes, as I think we all agree, it really does depend on the child.

This post has been edited by JJ: 29/11/2012, 10:54 PM