Ok this is seriously the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me- I am blushing and cringing right now just remembering it.
This better make you feel better lol
Ok so after I had DS I was a mess "downstairs". I had a prolapse party going on and all my internal organs were invited.
Well after a few months post birth I realised things weren't going back to normal so I went off to the GP who referred me to a colorectal surgeon for an assessment of what she believed was a rectal prolapse, so off I went to meet this chap.
I had to take off my skirt and knickers and he began to feel around- yeah not fun I can tell you!
So he was having some difficulty finding my supposed rectal prolapse (because -thanks a lot GP- turns out it WASN'T that at all), so he got quite close up to my butt and asked me to cough really hard.
So.... I did and he was right there and I let out this ripper fart right in his face.
I swear to all that is holy his hair swished in the wind from the force of this fart and it was so loud I'm certain that they heard it in the unusually quiet waiting area.
So his eyes went wide
but he was so professional he just acted LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!!
Then I was like OMG what do I do?! Should I apologise- of course I just farted IN THIS GUYS MOUTH practically. But he was ignoring it- should I ignore it also?! This convo happened in my head (totally normal...) in a matter of moments, I ended up apologising profusely and wishing the floor would open up and swallow me.
He still acted like it was nothing and the whole thing was SO excruciating I felt like I wanted to burst out laughing and crying. He finished up after that- can you blame him? And as I was getting dressed I got the biggest case of the giggles. I was trying to stifle my laughter and my whole body was shaking because I kept thinking he would see me laughing and think what kind of SICK FREAK farts fresh and directly into someones face when they are 2cm away from their bunghole and then LAUGHS about it?!!!?!?! This awful awful experience lasted another 5 minutes which might as well have been 17.5 hours to me, I want to die thinking about it!
I have had fertility treatments and three babies vaginally- dont get me wrong I have had more than my share of people look up my clacker but there is a difference when your fart is directed right up your doctors nostrils.
Thank God it didnt smell thats all I can say!