[imamumto3]

we are having the family Christmas lunch at our house this year.

so far, mil has told me

- I have paid too much for the ham
- I should have bought a pre cooked turkey
- I am doing too much

she has also bought the pudding, is making the fruit cake and wants to make the trifle, even though I have every thing organised.

how can I gently get her to butt out?

This post has been edited by imamumto3: 08/12/2012, 09:47 PM

[samemnik]

You can't, she has years of experience on you at this.
Just make sure the alcohol is chilled and plentiful and the pain will be less...

[Mrs Mel]

Just tell you are happy with what you have organised, thanks anyway.

I'd be stoked if my MIL was going to bring all that, one less thing to worry about organising.

[Mumof1B2G]

If you have not already bought the stuff for the trifle and the other things then save yourself a bit of money and accept some but not all offers...

[ZombieMum]

we are having the family Christmas lunch at our house this year.

so far, mil has told me

- I have paid too much for the ham
- I should have bought a pre cooked turkey
- I am doing too much

she has also bought the pudding, is making the fruit cake and wants to make the trifle, even though I have every thing organised.

how can I gently get her to butt out?

Are you asking everyone to help contribute to the cost? If so, then I could understand her comment about the cost of ham. If you're paying for it all, then just ignore her.


Although you are hosting it, you have to remember that some people do like to continue some of their Christmas food traditions, otherwise it might not feel the same, IYKWIM.

For example, it might not feel like Christmas for her without the regular pudding, and the usual trifle, so I wouldn't get too upset over that.

[StudyMummy]

Just tell you are happy with what you have organised, thanks anyway.

I'd be stoked if my MIL was going to bring all that, one less thing to worry about organising.

Coming from someone who was secretly hoping MIL would host Christmas at her house this year instead of it being at mine again - I would be thrilled with that.

You have inspired me to write out exactly what I want to have for Christmas lunch and start delegating though

[Kitty Fantastico]

I'd let the comments go in one ear and out the other.

If she really wants to make the desserts, let her. Less work for you. But if you still want to make your own , do it. You can't have too much dessert over the holidays.

[CallMeProtart]

Let her make the trifle, and be gracious about her help!

For the rest, go "Ah well, I'm fine with it" and maybe she'll get the message...

[ubermum]

I've heard homicide is effective for mil's. I even fantasize about it at times.

[Propaganda]

I think you have no option that isn't going to cause you some annoyance. You either let her butt in, or you be firm with her. Letting her butt in will bother you, being firm with her will no doubt bother her. You won't win either way, so just choose which you think will be less painful.