I think your question is a good one, and I also think that God welcomes our questions and struggles, because to me, I think that that shows that we are wanting Him to be involved in our lives, but that we just can't comprehend how He could possibly be interested in us as individuals.
I have been a Christian for many years, but my early faith journey was one of fear of a God who would condem me to hell, if I didn't follow a pious and religious looking life. Statements like the one you mention "everything happens for a reason" don't really help me, when the world is crashing down and I fell like my life is in the toilet.
This year has been a huge struggle for me - the deaths of 5 people close to me, my youngest son being diagnosed with aspergers syndrome, my mum being seriously ill in ICU and the doctors telling us they didnt know what else to do, ongoing health struggles for me. The list goes on. I didn't need or want to hear platitudes from well meaning Christians, but I didn't really know what I did need.
I'm not a person whon"hears" God audibly, though i appreciate that some do, and I can't really explain how I became aware of the following, but it was like an inner awareness. Anyway, one night, I sat and sobbed my heart out. I cried to God that it was all too hard, that I couldn't do it anymore, that I wanted out, and that I didn't think He could understand my pain. Somehow, God reminded me that He had lived as a man, He knew what it was to lose someone he loved, he knew what it was to have a child that others didn't understand, are knew what it was to watch someone he loved suffer. He felt pain, he worked in a real job. So many things about the incarnation made sense to me. God didn't have to come to earth as Jesus, but the fact that he did shows me that he feels my pain, and my joy. That night, I was reminded again that I am actually a beloved child of God. It's not whether things happen for a reason or not that is important. The world is a corrupted version of Gods plan, so corrupted things will happen. The important thing for me, is that I'm not in it alone.
I would encourage you to find a church that welcomes people without judgement or expectation. They do exist - I go to one
find a faith community where it is ok to admit you have questions and where discussion about the reality of faith and life are open and often, and most importantly, a space where you don't have to agree with everything the minister says!!! Oh, and I highly recommend getting a copy of The Message translation of the Bible - it is written in a very personal style - and start reading