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> How to do with unwanted (bad) advice, PPL telling you the 'wrong' things are actually ok?

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HoneyPumpkin
post 10/12/2012, 11:56 PM
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This post has been edited by HoneyPumpkin: 04/01/2013, 10:07 PM
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Roselet
post 11/12/2012, 12:25 AM
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People are emotional about the decisions they made with their children, and tend to feel like you making different decisions is a slur on theirs. With older women I used to say "well they didn't know about the risks then, I'm sure you would have done things differently if you had known". With younger women (where they had the same information I had and chose not to be on the safe side) I would usually explain that due to my personal health problems I needed to be super careful - that way my choice is about me and enables them to make different choices without feeling like they are being less careful.

Truth is, same as we all feel like inadequate mothers sometimes, (at least every mother I know says they doubt themselves from time to time), we all worry that we didn't do things as well as we could have during pregnancy, so if someone else is doing it "better" there is a risk it will make us feel inadequate and then we overcompensate.
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rabbit hyde
post 11/12/2012, 03:21 AM
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Just have a reply prepared and ready. A simple "I've decided to err on the safe side of caution" is fairly unoffensive.

I find that people aren't so much concerned about choices you've made so much as they can tend to take your actions as a judgment on their own. Regardless of whether you've intended this or not.
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~buzz~
post 11/12/2012, 04:56 AM
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I just say pretty much what you have written that I am not comfortable about it and would rather be on the safe side.

Your body, your baby, your choice
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Preg_in_RSA
post 11/12/2012, 04:57 AM
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I just say yes and then completely ignore everything they say - I hate confrontations.
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lozoodle
post 11/12/2012, 05:23 AM
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Just dont engage, i get comments about food on occasion and i just smile and change the topic. Its not worth worrying about.
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Cacti
post 11/12/2012, 05:47 AM
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I would say, "This is what I'm comfortable doing."
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Jo-Anna
post 11/12/2012, 05:58 AM
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I find that if you don't draw attention to what you 'can and cannot' eat people generally keep their noses out.
Nothing irks me more than hearing a pregnant woman harp on about what she's eating to who ever will listen.
I just eat what I eat and no one is generally interested. If I am offered something that I choose not to eat when pregnant I simply say 'no thanks'. In my mind there is no need to explain my choices and this way I have never had a issue with any of the 'older generation'.


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MrsLexiK
post 11/12/2012, 06:07 AM
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QUOTE (Jo-Anna @ 11/12/2012, 06:58 AM) *
I find that if you don't draw attention to what you 'can and cannot' eat people generally keep their noses out.
Nothing irks me more than hearing a pregnant woman harp on about what she's eating to who ever will listen.
I just eat what I eat and no one is generally interested. If I am offered something that I choose not to eat when pregnant I simply say 'no thanks'. In my mind there is no need to explain my choices and this way I have never had a issue with any of the 'older generation'.

I agree! It irks me even more when the person is still TTCing and going on and on about. People you can have caffeine!
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FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...
post 11/12/2012, 06:07 AM
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Same as I do receiving any unsolicited advice; smile, nod, ignore and move on.

I rarely try to defend my choices to those who obviously disagree.
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