QUOTE (Bluenomi @ 12/12/2012, 04:23 PM)
Whatever you do keep working on it. We have a serial biter at daycare and it's gotton to the stage none of the parents like our kids playing with him and tell them to avoid him. It's not nice for him but safer for our children that way.
That's terrible. Imagine how you would feel if that was your child everyone was talking about and telling their children not to play with.
There is always a reason for biting and its up to the adults to figure out that reason and help teach the child different strategies.
Sometimes biting has absolutely nothing to do with frustration or anger, some children bite as a way to interact and show their willingness and desire to play with another child. They call this the "social biter".
At 21 months a child does not have the capacity to understand that biting hurts. They have not developed the understanding of empathy or compassion and are incapable of linking the act of biting to the crying child infront of them who they just bit. Have you ever seen a child who has bitten and the quizzical look on their face as they try to understand why the other child is crying?
Then they figure out (depending on the reason why they are biting), but say for example they are biting becuase someone keeps taking things off them, that when they bit the other child dropped the toy. Still no understanding that they are actually hurting someone or that is not socially acceptable, but they have certainly figured out how to get someone to stop doing something.
Children are not born with social understanding, they need to learn it and that takes YEARS, sometimes adults still havent learned how to act in society.
A child who bites is not mean, nasty, horrible, a bully, and certainly does not need to be ostracised or punished. How are they ever going to learn to socialise if no one is teaching them or if they are being removed from other children.
OP, dont be embarassed your child is biting. Talk to the educators and ask them the scenarios. Maybe they need to look at the set up of the room..is it too crowded with toys? children? maybe the group can be split to be smaller. Can they focus more on small group interactions led and encouraged by an educator (this works wonders for biting and we use this where I work as our most valuable tool for teaching a child how to socialise), maybe they can play turn taking games in these groups and model acceptable responses and behaviour.
Its not your fault your child is biting...he is just trying to find his place in a situation he probably has very little control over.
This post has been edited by beansidhe: 12/12/2012, 11:08 PM