[ky*cal]

Hi, my oldest DS is almost 9, and still believes in santa, to a certain extent. He has on a number of occasions said that some of the kids at school say that santa isnt real and its your mum and dad, but i have said, well maybe the choose not to believe so therefore mum and dad are the only gift givers at xmas, which he was satisfied with, but lately i know he has been snooping for presents and has discovered some which were to be given by santa. I was thinking that maybe next yr is a good time to tell him bout santa, but then im concerned he will then give the secret away to his younger siblings. How would you deal with the telling of santa to the oldest? Im thinking of giving him the opportunity to be responsible not to let the secret out and in return he can still put up his santa sack at xmas, otherwise if he tells there will be not santa pressies only one or two from mum and dad...what are your thoughts...hmmm

[SeaPrincess]

I don't think you need to have that conversation. We used to say things like that to see what Mum would say - her usual response was that if we stopped believing, then Santa would stop coming. Even after I left home, I used to go home on Christmas Eve so Santa would be able to find me, and by then, my siblings and I were doing Mum and Dad's stockings.

[asdf89]

Won't the younger kids start asking questions if he stops getting presents from Santa?

[blackbird]

My kids are 5 and 4 and I have told them Santa is imaginary, but not to tell other kids as it might make them sad, they tell me I am wrong and he is real but when the grow up they cant accuse me of lying, honesty is a big thing in our house.

[unicycle]

this is a tricky one. without knowing your child, i am not going to offer advice on when to tell. when my daughter came home with the news of santa's imaginary status, i think i asked her not to tell other children because that was part of the cycle of Christmas: don't tell so they can enjoy the magic. I followed it up with something like " and if you tell your brother there will be no presents"

[mumto3princesses]

DD#1 was in Year 5 when we told her. Didn't want to risk her being teased at school as I had a friend at school that was teased horribly for still believing at that age.

DD#2 & DD#3 just turned 9yrs and they still believe. DD#3 might work it out before I tell them but I don't think DD#2 will.

After we told her we told her we said this is the deal. You pretend you still believe and he will still come. You tell your sisters and there will be no need for him to come anymore. But in actual fact we plan on still doing Santa when they all know. Obviously they wont still put out milk and cookies etc but its exciting to wake up on christmas morning with presents under the tree that weren't there before.

[Mianta]

My dd "realised" last year at 9 years old. I don't think there is any need for the conversation, but I did speak to dd about it because we have two other little girls, who believe in Santa, and dd is helping keep the magic alive.

[Jacoby28]

My 9yr old DD still believes and I won't be telling her. She can be a kid for as long as she likes. Though even after she stops believing there will still be santa sacks. Dh and I get them every year.
My parents still give us presents from Santa lol.

[bye]

My mum told DD when she went to high school - I was narky (but accept she did it out of love for DD) but I think I could have spun another couple of years out of it.

She didn't get teased until then because she accepted others didn't think Santa was real, so never pushed the "he is so real" barrow. It just wasn't a big deal.

[*Greenbag*]

Surely you don't need to threaten him with getting fewer presents if he tells? Why can't you just share it with him as a little secret between 'grown-ups' that Santa isn't really real, but it's still fun to play the game for the sake of the little kids.