[Leggy]

"DN sometimes needs scaffolding and guidance to help her deal appropriately with disappointment."

I translate this as: Sometimes she needs to be reminded that tantrums are just not on for someone starting prep next year and told to go sit in the quiet corner with a cuddle toy till she's calmed down.

What hilariously tactful comments have appeared on your child's report card?

In completely the other direction, my old maths teacher reckoned that one of his classmates once got the comment, "Indolent, insolent, and consequently ignorant."

[2puzzled]

not my child's, but mine throughout school life:

"contributes well to class discussion"... translated as "she never, ever shuts up..."

[Brattacino]

Funny. This topic reminds me of the teacher comments in the beginning of Matilda by Roald Dahl. My favourite is "It is a curious truth that
Grasshoppers have their hearing organs in the sides of their abdomen. Your daughter, judging by what she's learnt this term has no hearing organs at all.

[overweightanon]

needs extra encouragement to focus on the activity at hand - translation - he has the concentration span of a cactus

[Ruby Victoria]

So glad the messages get through.

Wish I could write some onthe ones I used in reports this year - but that would obviously be unprofessional

[charlottesmum04]

Not on report card but on DD's graduation night. Each child had to walk down the aisle to a speech given by their teacher about their acheivements during the year. I spent the whole 40 min till DD's turn terrified about what was going to be said about DD. They settled on she likes drama and wants to be a teacher. ( i think all the teachers are laughing about that considering DD's behaviour towards them.) personally i think the drama they were referring too is the running away from school screaming at teachers kind. Oh well bring on high school.

[If You Say So]

My sister once had a comment about her ability to disrupt the ENTIRE class.

[Velvetta]

Well, not exactly euphemistic but DS7's said "His need for perfection has lessoned (sic) ".

Because he used to start all over again from scratch whenever he made a tiny error. Never mind the spelling of "lessoned", even spell check isn't picking that up as I type, it's not a word!!

This same teacher once said to me at a PT meeting - after I had said my son was a bit different, a bit eccentric - "yes he's not really normal is he?" faaarrrkkk!

[Melly23]

School Transition statement:

"He is learning to get closer to the person he is speaking to and modulate his voice in conversation and play" - Translation "He is learning NOT to shout across the room at people"

"...reminders to find the person with your legs and eyes first, then speak" - Translation "He is learning NOT to shout across the room at people"

"He has become aware of waiting his turn to speak but still needs occasional prompts to look first and wait until others are finished speaking" - Translation "He is learning NOT to interrupt others"

"He can be a little distracted at times by his friends and can benefit from sitting towards the front of groups" - Translation "GOOD LUCK SCHOOL TEACHER!!!!!!

Lucky he's cute

[countrymel]

Not a report card comment but an 'award'.

Many years ago (and I'm hoping she is beyond her child rearing years now and won't be on EB to recognise herself - but if you do Mum really liked you honest!) the school my Mum taught at was giving out awards at the end of the year and wanted to give one to all of their year six leavers.

There was one little girl whom it was most difficult to find a positive to focus on - things like "a diligent worker" were out, sporting prowess was out, academic achievement was out, "helpful" was out, "thoughtful" likewise - all she ever did was gossip and scheme in a grand 11/12 year old machiavellian manner..

Her 'award'?

To *child*

For her intense interest in other people.