What do you think of my parenting? (please, only answer if you think I am awesome).
Today I was to too busy hand sewing a vintage fabric ironing board cover and crocheting a vase to cook, so I took DS to Maccas for a soft serve and chips, coz I know he needs dairy and vegetables in his diet. Hey, it's better than baby juice, that sh*t is RONG.
The drive through was too long so I fancy parked, then ducked in to buy at the counter.
I came back and some lady was telling me off for leaving DS in the front seat. I was like WTF? I'm just trying to FEED my SON. She was wearing 3/4 leggings as pants, so clearly she was a coffee table owning bogan and I don't think she has kids, so she's no parenting expert!
I gave DS his Maccas and we sat in the front, watching the scene unfold at the church over the road, where hundreds of people in fascinators were chasing a screaming bride out into the street and bludgeoning her with a wishing well.
I don't like DS to witness violence so I took him home ASAP and played some Killzone on the PS3 while DS watched and played with his wooden toys (they are all wooden, plastic toys are trashy). He wanted to play dress ups with my clothes but I don't want him to grow up to be a freak... I mean, be bullied, so I gave him a toy gun to play with instead.
I then wrote out an email advising everyone what I expect them to buy DS for Christmas. I then wrapped some old towels for my SIL for Xmas and bought some Oxfam goats as gifts for the other kids in the family.
I'm doing SOS with DS at the moment, so I put him to bed, told him Tizzie Hall reckons he should go to sleep now, and he nodded off instantly.
Am I the best mother ever or what? Don't know what you are all complaining about. You just have to try harder

Parenting is a breeze.
And YAAB.