it looks like my MIL is going to come visit from interstate and take the kids one at a time to visit the IL's cattle farm from around Boxing Day. They love it there and we love the break. So that's not the problem.
The problem is that I'm going to be 12w on the 9/1, I've had 2 mc, and didn't want to say anything until January, just in case. But with MIL coming to visit, there is only two ways she is going to take the way I am at the moment: I'm pregnant or seriously sick/lazy. I've known her for 10+ years and am sure of this.
DH is letting me choose what I feel comfortable with but has suggested telling her before she comes (she's under the impression that more than 2 kids is psychotic and is not going to be afraid to speak her mind) so she has time to get over it before she comes. She also scares me a little as she is very dominant and treats us like she thinks we're still teens a lot of the time.
This said, the cattle farm employs 20+ people not including DH's aunts, uncles and grandparents that live and work there too. The kids would find out via station gossip. I want them to find out from us, but I also don't know what I'd tell them or how much they would understand if I lost this one too.
This said, I'm not sure what would be better, letting her think for now I'm lazy/ sick with a possibility she works it out, or telling her and risk something bad happening on top of having to deal with her overt views, having to deal with telling them we lost it. I'm not sure how supportive the IL would be in that case. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what wold be the better way to handle this. So I guess I'm looking for what others might think they'd do in similar circumstances. Tia cheers