[doubting thomas]

How would you take this? You turn up to your mil and fil's for a weekend visit and all seems normal as it has been for a few years. They are nice to the kids including DH's step-kids ( yours from a previous marriage). Then in the evening you ask mil to borrow something (mascara) follow her to the master bedroom and see her take a key from above the door jamb and open the door. She lends you the mascara, you ask why the door is locked and she says that your older children( not related to her) have been in her room when she wasnt there.
You ask how she knows this and she says because they told her they'd seen the photo in her room. (This photo can be seen from the stairs) .
You ask the kids who say they've never been in there except the once when mil asked them to come in and it was then that they commented on the photo.
I told her the kids werent in her room but she just shrugged her shoulders.
I think she thinks I and my children are liars and have lost all the good will I had towards her and am now reluctant to visit , especially overnight. DH thinks Im overthinking.
What would you do?

[protart roflcopt...]

I think its a bad idea to share mascara.

[Mercurial]

Overthinking it. Definitely. If she thinks the kids were in there and she wants her room locked it's really no skin of anyone else's nose.

[LynnyP]

Overthinking. Her room, she can lock it.

[pinkcupcakes]

if you're not comfortable,and dont feel like you have a mutually trusting relationship with mil, the your husband should support you. you are the number one female in his life now, not her.i would put my foot down. but i dont know how your dh would react. and i dont know how you guys communicate. and i dont know what kind of fallout you may have. it sucks, op and i hope for yours and kids sake that you can work things out.

This post has been edited by pinkcupcakes: 17/12/2012, 05:31 PM

[CallMeProtart]

I think that it's a shame she has gone that way with it, and that you're justified in being upset, but cutting off visits or overnight visits because of it is an overreaction. These relationships are difficult, and you'll need to let some stuff pass to have family harmony. Make a stand on the big things. I don't think this falls into a big thing.

[Funwith3]

So what even if they were in her room?? My kids go into their grandparents bedrooms often. Granted, they don't go rummaging through things but so what if they go in? Have they been asked specifically not to go in?

I think grandma has overreacted and is obviously distrusting of your children for some reason. I wouldn't like it.

[asdf89]

Probably just overthinking it. Were your kids offended.

Also: don't share mascara. It's a one-way ticket to conjunctivitis-city.... and is also gross. Would you share a toothbrush with your MIL?

[doubting thomas]

SO basically you guys (except pinkcupcakes ) would be cool with your mil stating your kids were liars. Interesting!

[LynnyP]

She showed you where the key is.