[nationalvelvet]

I have a friend who turned 57 last week. She invited me two days(via facebook) to her birthday. It was a gathering of a few friends at the League's Club.
I told her I could not make it......

She invited 10 people altogether and apparently others could not make it.
One(an elderly friend) and her daughter asked if she could have the location closer to their home(as the older friend had not been well) But my friend said 'no" She wanted it at this particular leagues club.
So - her other friends could not make it.

I had sent her a birthday card and a lovely shade of Avon lipstick(as I am a Rep).
She didn't say thank-you (via Facebook, SMS or verbally)
Instead she sent an email to my sister expressing how devastated and hurt she was that not everyone was able to turn up.
My sister lives in another state(she didnt come as it was too far for her to travel and she was working)

She sent me an email the day before her birthday and said she was sad that I could not make it and went on to say that she had had a TERRIBLE year and how bad life has been for her. She felt as though she wasn't asking for much. I feel sad that these people(including) me could not come but there is always tomorrow.
I emailed her back and said that I was sorry but I understood what pain was like as I ALSO have had a difficult year.

She has put a few cryptic messages on Facebook(without naming names) it's a message for me and others that didn't turn up to her party.

There is a slight threat in the posts.....(she goes on to say, "Just watch and see what happens next).

I am hurt but also shocked at her behaviour.

I reminded my sister that she wouldn't even Know when my birthday was and here, she is, being a drama Queen that I and others couldn't make it!!
My sister emailed me last night to tell me she is still going on about it in her emails!

I've never received a card from her for my birthday EVER and to me that is ok.
The friendship isnt about remembering birthdays, etc.

What do I do now? Let her be so she can get over this or confront her about it?

Or do I deserve this for not being able to make her party?

eta

This post has been edited by lindenen: 18/12/2012, 11:10 AM

[ubermum]

Just ignore her.

[Baggy]

She's being petty, I'd ignore her.

One of my friends is doing the 'cryptic messages' at the moment too because I couldn't go to her 21st (DP was doing night shift and it wasn't a place where I could bring the children). I don't really care too much though - I let her know in advance that I couldn't make it so I don't feel as if I have done anything wrong.

[mumofsky]

she sounds like an imbecile worthy of deletion.

[bakesgirls]

She gives two days notice for her birthday party, then wonders why people can't make it

Ignore her OP, she's being a twit about it.

[Therese]

I would just ignore it too.

[FloralArrangemen...]

She is 57 you say what an immature person. We all have challenges and we all need to learn to move forward.

2 days notice would never work with me at all.

[2bundles]

Did you have a reason why you couldn't go? Why not call her and tell her the reason, say you are sorry you missed it and can you catch up for a coffee soon?

Sounds like she really needs a friend and that is making her unreasonable.

[Red nut]

Is this usual behaviour? I'd be seriously worried she's in a crisis at the moment otherwise... Her requests and behaviour are unreasonable, but people can be like that when they're really struggling....

[AprilEthereal]

For 57, she sounds very immature and self centered. I would ignore her guilt tripping comments. Don't feel bad, you have done nothing wrong. And, how rude to not even thank you for your card and gift.