[nationalvelvet]

I'm the sort of person that will go all out for a friend...so, for example, if someone was to ask me/tell me that they were buying a fridge and did I know any deals - I would go to lengths to make enquiries.
I would phone or visit internet sites and get back to them.

I have this person whom I know that rings me continually...often with trival questions.
She will talk for ages and I have had to literally hang the phone up - by saying goodbye and then hanging it up.

Sometimes I will ignore the phone(landline) when it rings(she comes up as private) and she phones at certain times of the day.
When I do this, then my mobile will start phoning..(it comes up as unknown number) I have sometimes ignored it's ring. Then a text message will come through with information(that she must get from somewhere)The Other day there was lengthy information about researching your ancestors(trivial information) that I don't need. Or text messages that ask me what the meaning of a word is.

A few weeks ago she told me she needed a new fridge and also was in need of glasses. I told her to prioritise what she needed the most and to save the money for that(she is on a pension).

Yesterday I was taking my mum to a 3 and half hour specialist appt and turned my phone off.
When I switched it back on, there were about two messages from her - one asking me if AWA tv's were still around and if this was a good deal from Big for a 70cm Tv of $248? I was nearly going to reply when I remembered that she was saving for a fridge and then glasses.
She knew I would do the research(phone around) and get back to her. And I know she won't buy the tv!!
She has always told me she doesnt want a tv and, if anyone has ever given her one, she just leaves it on her footpath for council collection(about a month later after viewing it).

I have received text messages(while getting my hair done) asking for recipes, etc.
They are ALL trivial yet she will persist and persist until she gets an answer.
I've ignored a lot of them of late (sometimes I am TOO busy) to text back or dont have credit.

I often received mail from her as well...letters and pictures(pictures of animals that she cuts out of magazines) and she sent me THREE of the same gift the other day - three calanders.I told her I only needed one calander so she sent me envelopes to give the others away(send to my friends).

I used to think the gifts and letters were a kind gesture but now I see them as abuse....
Because they get my attention and they are Often trivial, silly talk.

I have told her I am busy and I may not have time to talk to her but still she persists.
I tried to put a barr on her number the other day and I think it stopped her phoning but I received the texts still.

IN the past I have had OPTUS barr her number from phoning me..when I have done this, I receive calls late into the night and no one is there. I think they were rung from a payphone.

I seem to struggle with this problem in my life...it seems when I set boundaries for needy people like her, they tend to turn around and abuse me.

Now I am wondering if my IGNORING her is a form of abuse?

Thoughts..I am stressed over it and don't really need it this close to christmas.

I have felt sorry for her in the past as she was mentally abused by her dad and brother and this went on for years. Now her dad has passed away and she has a restraining order on her brother. She lives on her own and has a better life...

This post has been edited by lindenen: 20/12/2012, 12:25 PM

[bubzillaiscoming]

I might be crossing the line but she sounds like a nut bar.

This is the weirdest post I have ever read.

It it was me I would cut all contact!

[Holidayromp]

You are going to have to ignore her. I am not sure that the police have to say as it is harrassment on her part but I don't think it is intended to hurt you. She has problems of her own. However change your home number and your mobile number is the only way you are going to stop these calls. Merely blocking them will not stop her. OPTUS will do the home number change for free given your circumstances. Opt for a silent number too.

[jai*]

It sounds to me like she is a lonely person, possibly with mental health issues.

ETA I don't think you ignoring her is abuse. More of a coping mechanism. Most people would take the hint.

This post has been edited by jai*: 20/12/2012, 12:40 PM

[LambChop]

She is definitely a nutter, she is stalking you... have you spoken to her about not contacting you ?

[amoral lemur]

She doesn't sound ok to me.

Have you tried to talking to her about what is actually going on? Why all the calls?

Sounds like she needs to see a professional.

[CallMeProtart]

I don't think it's abuse, but it probably is harassment.

Sorry if this is obvious but it wasn't mentioned in your post - have you just TOLD her not to call you?

Like maybe "sorry but I'm just too busy these days to maintain this friendship. Please don't call me again."

Harsh, but I don't think you can really call harassment till you've asked.

[mmuc83]

Change phone numbers and don't give them out to her...

[Pooks*potters]

Yeah um... Have you actually told her you don't want further contact?

[nationalvelvet]

Please don't call me again."

I haven't gone that far..I have told her numerous times that I am busy and sometimes I don't have time to text or phone her back. I can take her in small doses...I do have some care for her but not everyday.
I have raised my voice on a few occasions...and then she is silent for a week or so...and then she will text me back when she cools down but no apology.

I know I need respect and I think it is ok to say no...but i guess I needed verification if what I am doing is abuse or protection.
It hasn't gotten to me contacting Police, there has been no threats.