[MeHeNDa3]

I'll try to be as brief as possible..

DH has been offered to learn a new skill at work and needs to go overseas for a fortnight for training. He'll be working the normal 40 hour week, staying in a unit.

I immediately asked if he minded that I tagged along, company at night time and I can sightsee during the day. All fine.

I come to find out a week ago his boss, who I gave the money for my flights to (he said he would book it for me to save mucking around), booked me to fly home after 8 days. No problem, I'll go to the travel agent and see if I can get on the flight DH is coming back on. I could, paid the change fee as well as the fee to change my name as his boss had got it wrong.

I rang DH at work and told him I'll be staying the fortnight. He told his boss, and when DH came home from work he said all was ok. DH's boss rang him this morning and said I needed to take my passport to the travel agent, as he has rebooked my flight back to the original date, and if I don't fly back then DH isn't going..opportunity revoked.

I am just furious. Really angry. I am paying to go on my own holiday, basically just catching the same plane as DH, not doing anything with him..yet a man I have never met is mucking around with my flights and dictating when I can holiday? And if I don't play by his rules DH loses a career boost?

Surely things like that are illegal?!

DH is just keen to do as he's told. We are barely speaking.

Please help me see his bosses side, and tell me his boss has the right to do that? Surely I don't need his work's permission to have a self funded holiday while my husband works..

[Canberra chick]

That does seem odd. Maybe there are evening events on later in the fortnight and he's worried your DH will skip them to be with you if you're there?

[WinterDancesHere]

I can't see his logic, but I assume the company is paying for the accom you will be using?

If this is the case I'd just toe the line and enjoy a cheapish holiday.

[FuzzyMum]

Hi Op. It may come down to the costs of the accommodation. Will he be staying in a hotel room or a unit? Are they paying for you to stay as well? It may be that with you staying for the extra 6 days the costs may be higher than what they have budgeted for.

[JuliaGulia]

I kind of think they do, actually. Often, overseas/interstate travel for work includes a lot of out-of-hours stuff, like socialising with clients. I was once booked for an interstate training trip for 3 weeks, and told I would not be allowed to fly home on weekends or have people stay with me.

I see your point, that technically they can't stop you from travelling, but I assume they are paying for his accommodation, and they do have rights to his time while he is there.

HTH

[halfagonyhalfhop...]

It seems very strange that the boss would want to book the flights for you, and accept your money. Surely it would make more sense for you to book your own directly.

It sounds like the boss doesn't want you to go. And you will be, presumably, staying in a company-paid-for-unit, so they do get a say.

But they can't stop you booking your own flight and accommodation, that just happens to coincide with your DH's stay.

[Holidayromp]

Why did your DH tell his boss when it is your self-funded holiday. It has absolutely nothing to do with him. Also how did he manage to mess around with the dates when it is for your ticket. Also mucking around with dates incurs fees. Go the travel agent rebook for the dates and tell your DH not to tell his boss and it is none of his business.
From the Boss' pov he is paying for your DH to work - it is not a holiday for him and he could just be concerned that your DH is going to muck around rather than concentrate on the job at hand.

[MeHeNDa3]

There are no after work functions, and I am paying my share of the accomodation.

He is a sheet metal worker, he's going to learn how to put rangehoods together. He isn;t in any way a "business" person or have any kind of sales role.

[TherophosaBlondi]

I'm not even sure where to start

Just so I am reading it right...

Your DH has been offered an opportunity to improve his job and it involves going overseas. You asked if it would be ok to tag along at your own expense and his boss even organised the tickets which he was ok with obviously.

He then books you a return flight to come home earlier, you change it back(at your expense) and then he changes it back again?

Then threatens your DH job over it?

He is a nasty pastie and I would be going to Fair Work Australia to find out if this is against the law.

Just a thought though...could it be something to do with the unit? Maybe he has someone else coming to stay at Day 8 and that is why he wants you out?

[aidensmum]

Did you or your ptr ask why he changed your flights back to a 8 day stay? There must be a reason. Maybe they think your ptr will be distracted by you when they are paying to train him or you messed with them financially by changing the tickets they booked for you. Did you ask before you changed the flights? If you are getting free accom out of this, they might feel you are getting a benefit at their expense and that got a bit narky that you changed the flight.