[Lickety Split]

Deleted for privacy reasons.

This post has been edited by Lickety Split: 25/12/2012, 05:02 PM

[katpaws]

Have a look at this web resource:

http://www.communities.qld.gov.au/communit...family-violence

[ms flib]

I'd say you should hang in there. She needs your friendship. If you care about her then be there for her despite your annoyance.

[Lolpigs]

Find out the numbers of the womens refugee near her and give her them. They can help her physically get out of the situation.

[Leafprincess]

She needs to arrive at the conclusion to leave him herself.

The more people tell her to leave him, the more she will stick up for him and stay with him. She then gets stuck in the us vs the rest of the world trap. When in the trap its even harder to leave because she's told herself the rest of the world is against her (not true).

Next time she calls instead of offering her advice or suggestions ask her what SHE is going to do about the situation. Help her work through her options and ask her what the consequences are of staying vs leaving.

She also needs professional help, suggest that you may not be the best person to speak to and refer her to the professionals. That in the capacity as a friend you will be there but not as a counsellor.

Until she is ready to leave him, there isn't much anyone can do. Domestic abuse is one sick cycle.

[FloralArrangemen...]

OP I know this is hard for you but I recommend not cutting ties. Your friend is caught in a cycle of abuse and her mind would be centred on that. You can support her but not make decisions for her. It is good that she at least contacts you when things go bad although I know this would be very draining for you. Arm yourself with as much information and resources to help her as you can.

[YandiGirl]

If Grey Matter sees this she will be able to give you advice as she was you and I was 'Gemma'.

I got out eventually. I could have lost her though. I am just so glad she never gave up on me, as hard as it was for her to watch.

[*cough*]

Please don't give up on her. That is all classic DV stuff. She needs her friends and he will be isolating her as much as possible.

Stick by her when she is ready to make the decision. Only she can but she'll need you when she decides to leave.

[lilmissmars]

Please don't give up on her.

An abusive man will isolate the woman from everyone to ensure he has full control.
From what you have said he has already isolated her from her family and I'm guessing she doesn't have friends near by to call and that is why she is calling you.

It's really hard to leave a relationship like that because you truly believe that you can't survive without the person.
Therapy may not have helped because she may not have fully disclosed what is going on. Believe me, covering for the abusive person is all part in parcel of this kind of relationship.

I know it's hard and I hope someone can give you some ideas. I wish I had a friend like you to talk to when I was in this woman's shoes. Other PPs are right unfortunately when they say only she can make the decision to leave.

[jameses mum]

I've been where you are now.
Years ago I was where your friend is now

It is very frustrating particularly when you "know" what they should do/what you imagine you would do in the situation.
The very very very best thing you can do is be there for her unconditionally.

My friend left in the end, but has permanent physical, mental and emotional scars