[Cherish]

Sick to death of the kids (mostly Ds1 and DS2 who have to share a room) playing up at bedtime. It can be 1.5 hours after bedtime and they are still playing/fighting/crapping on (drinks/toilet he won't stop talking etc) bedtime is usually 7-7:30. Tonight it was 8:20. DS1 is particularly badly behaved.
I am over it and am finding myself a screaming banshee at bedtime. I am consistent. I accept no excuses and send them back to bed but I am <> this close to losing the effing plot.
How do you deal with bedtimes?
My only other option in to put DS2 in my bed so they are separated. But DS3 needs to sleep in there!!
God I hope we can afford to renovate next year!

[Funwith3]

I'm hearing you!! We're the same. I've started banning TV the following day. Or taking favorite things away.

ETA- or I threaten to make bedtime earlier the following night if they don't go to sleep. Maybe you could all sit down tomorrow morning and establish some new rules and make it very clear what the punishment will be.

This post has been edited by Funwith3: 23/12/2012, 08:29 PM

[Harmonica]

If you don't already then I would stagger the bedtime, the younger DS should go to bed 1/2 hour earlier then the older one.

[Lyra]

If you don't already then I would stagger the bedtime, the younger DS should go to bed 1/2 hour earlier then the older one.

I totally agree with this! I also figure that if I am fighting for 20 - 30 mins to get my daughter to stay in bed that perhaps she's not tired yet and make bedtime a bit later. I would rather she spent that 20 mins or so in her bed quietly reading rather than up every 25 seconds bugging me for something or calling out from her bedroom and then waking her brother

[Jemstar]

It's tough. I found repeatedly putting them to bed with no communication would work with one alone. With two together, I would start removing favourite toys/privileges. But you *have* to follow through. Don't make idle threats. I would tell them what you are going to do, and then every time they get up or whatever, I would remove a toy and show them, say nothing, just do it. I sometimes think the more you talk, yell, shout etc the worse they are!

Another thing that has worked well in our house (for all manner of things) is 'the ladder of impending doom'. Every time they muck up, that's 15 minutes off bedtime the following night. One of mine went to bed at 4.30 in the afternoon when we first started using it, but he only did it once!

Good luck!

This post has been edited by Jemstar: 23/12/2012, 08:33 PM

[Just-one-more]

I'd put them to bed at different times. 8pm is still a fine bedtime for a 6 yo.

[DylJayBen's Mum]

I agree with PP, my DS2(6) is a shocker with bed time. I read a great book by Nigel Latta and he said when children are misbehaving to make it their problem not yours so to speak. Now when DS2 gets out of bed I knock 5 minutes off the next nights bed time for every time he gets up, I also use it for if he is naughty during the day. It took awhile to work but now that he knows I will follow it through it is working a treat.

Good luck with it

[*Caro*]

Maybe stop stressing about it? I used to be like you, screaming and threatening and getting worked up, till I worked out that it wasn't really helping anyone, least of all me. We have a 2yo and 4yo sharing, and a 6yo and an 8yo sharing. Some nights are pretty bad, but if it's hot and still light at bedtime, I figure its hard for them to get to sleep. I let them get a drink of water, remind them calmly to go to sleep and, for the older kids, give some relaxation techniques for them to focus on.

Now that school has finished for the year, it doesn't really matter if they fall asleep a bit later.

[Sweet like a lem...]

Maybe stop stressing about it? I used to be like you, screaming and threatening and getting worked up, till I worked out that it wasn't really helping anyone, least of all me. We have a 2yo and 4yo sharing, and a 6yo and an 8yo sharing. Some nights are pretty bad, but if it's hot and still light at bedtime, I figure its hard for them to get to sleep. I let them get a drink of water, remind them calmly to go to sleep and, for the older kids, give some relaxation techniques for them to focus on.

Now that school has finished for the year, it doesn't really matter if they fall asleep a bit later.

Agree with this.

[It'sallgood]

I agree to stop "insisting " on bedtime and just chill out over it.

In my opinion, 7.30pm, even 8.30pm, on holidays or during weekends, is a very early time to be trying to get active and healthy kids your age to bed.

we are some of the lucky ones who don't have drama's at bedtime and never have.

But we've never forced our kids to go to bed either. We have never made drama out of it and we have always stuck to a series of events (if you want to call it a routine, you can, but it's more just a regular series of events that have always been followed pretty much)

We have dinner, we have a bit of time to chill out. There is no rough play and decreased noise overall in the house at this time. A lot of the time, TV is off and we parents are reading or spending time on the net or just quietly doing something, so the kids have been in that environmental mindset.

Then they have a bath. Usually I say "hey girls, it's 7.30, time to think about a bath??" and leave it up to them...these days, they generally know when 7 to 7.30pm is and if they don't start it themselves, they are okay togo with the reminder adn cue.

They love to watch certain shows etc which end at 7.30pm, so that's a good cue anyway. They aren't allowed to watch anything too stimuating and definately NOTHING like computer games or such...

Then they have a bath (or shower) I let them stay as long as they like. They play, they relax...wahtever. Then they do their teeth and 90% of the time, it's straight to bed then. Sometimes they are too tired for a story, mostly we do have a story. But again, nothing too stimulating or "exciting' we do calm and "nice" stories.

We talk about any concerns they might have that haven't already been addressed before then...then it's goodnight and light goes out and they go to sleep.

WE've pretty much followed an age appropriate version of that since birth with both kids.

but IF they aren't tired, esp with the older one, she isnt' forced to go to bed if she doesn't want to and isn't tired. She is allowed to read with us, cuddle on couch or lie quietly in the bed beside me whilst i read or "work" (sshhhhh..don't tell!!) on the computer.

Basically, in this house, ALL loud, boisterous and "rev up" activity stops at dinner time. Always has. Hb and I would rather record shows and watch later if needbe, then have the kids trying to watch an "adult" rated show with us or being kept awake with noise.

During school time, bedtime is now around 8 - 9pm (kids are going on 7 and 8 yrs, just finished grade 1 and 2) and during holidays and weekends? We don't have any actual bedtime. They go when they are tired. But like tonight, it's usually around 8-9pm anyway. It's enver an issue.

Good luck,
Tamm