[MinkyMonkey]

I hate DH drinking alcohol, any type and in any quantity great than one standard drink. It seems illogical but any more than 1 drink (occasionally 1 will do it too) and his personality does a complete 180 -- he turns into a complete snarky jerk. To me it seems blatantly obvious but I have learnt that I can't pull him up on any of it because it just makes him worse. He is not abusive, he definitely doesn't have a drinking problem as he can go weeks without drinking anything and when he does he usually only has 1-3 drinks, he is drunk maybe once a year. His venom is usually directed at me so I generally try and not engage with him if he has had a couple of drinks.

To be fair I don't drink at all and have delt with the effects from an alcoholic family member so it is possible that my view is tainted. DH just thinks I hate alcohol and should get over it but I really don't have an issue with anyone else drinking (especially only a few drinks) except him. Has anyone ever noticed such a dramatic personality change from someone after only a few drinks? Or is this whole situation just manifested in my imagination?

[antigone_]

Not your imagination at all - my personality has been known to be very unpredictable under the influence of alcohol and so has a close family member's who used to be alcoholic. I haven't seen him behave in that way since he gave up drinking many years ago.

It doesn't take much alcohol to do it either. Every drink causes a somewhat unpredictable chemical reaction. I have been known to have two glasses of wine and turn completely snarky.

[jayskette]

Yes.
Beware.
I am in the same situation as you

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

He may not be an alcoholic, but it definitely sounds like he has a problem with drinking. I don't think his reaction is 'normal'.

One classic sign of the alcoholic/problem drinker, is there ability to turn it around on you. It's all in your head, your the one with the problem. It sounds like your dh is trying that one on you.

You could try getting in touch with Al-anon for support.

[MinkyMonkey]

Thanks for the replies. Nice to know that I'm not just making this up but now I am concerned. What can I do? He acts like this yet has no other visible signs of intoxication, I can't see how I can get him to see what he is doing?

[FiveAus]

Yes, my ex used to turn into a belligerent a**hole after just one or two beers. There was no talking to him, he knew everything, could do everything and wasn't listening to anyone. He would not even be over the legal limit to get like this.

He also used to smell really awful after drinking beer, not just the usual brewery breath, it would literally reek from the pores of his skin. If he was in bed with his back to me, I could smell it as strong as anything, and if he sweated at all, it was worse.

So yes, I'd say a chemical reaction, for sure.

[MooGuru]

My DH is similar; generally more than a couple of drinks and usually if there is a pressure to drink i.e. Pub crawl and one particular group of friends. Last time was bad, but he realised it and never wants it to happen again before that point I think he thought I was being overly dramatic. I think I was also very aware of the alcohol factor due to exposure to an alcoholic so potentially things that wouldn't normally bother me did because I was worried about his alcohol intake which potentially contributed to his narkiness because 1 drink put us both on the defensive.

[mygirlcharlotte]

yes Alcohol can change someones personality
Once my husband isnt drinking he is a nice guy but after 4 drinks he thinks he is king d***..i hate it..He annoys everybody that is around ..he says if they dont like it thats theres problem not his..So when he drinks i cant drink or be around him

[starsg]

Does he remember acting this way the next day, or feel apologetic? one tactic that gets used a bit on abusive alcoholics is to film their behaviour while drunk and show it back to them when they're sober. it's often quite a shock, maybe that's something you could think about trying.

[Swahili]

He may not be an alcoholic, but it definitely sounds like he has a problem with drinking. I don't think his reaction is 'normal'.

One classic sign of the alcoholic/problem drinker, is there ability to turn it around on you. It's all in your head, your the one with the problem. It sounds like your dh is trying that one on you.

You could try getting in touch with Al-anon for support.

Massive over reaction here. Al anon do not need their time wasted by someone whose husband drinks 1-3 drinks, every few weeks. Get a grip.