[Mamma_mia]

DS and i were quite hurt recently when ds was not invited to his friend's birthday party. This is the first time this has happened. Ds is 6. We are part of a small group that meets at the playground every friday after school. Mums and kids. The kids are in the same class at school. It appears that everyone else in the group was invited, they all talked about what a great party it was the following friday in front of me! Until the mum of the birthday boy started shushing everyone while looking at me.

Anyway DS' birthday is coming up in a couple of months and DS says he doesn't want to invite that boy. Understandable, I feel the same. I just wonder though if I will look petty and childish to the other mums though. It will be very noticeable, as as it is quite a tight group. Ds doesnt really have friends outside of that group. I know this is a silly thing to get stressed about, but i am ridiculously over sensitive and suffer from anxiety. I didnt have many friends before this and was so happy to be part of this group. This birthday thing really threw me for a loop, i'm so upset about it and cant stop thinking about it. (Dumb, i know). Also, all the kids will be in the same class in 2013, so i will be seeing these people all the time.

What would you do????

(Sorry for any errors - sent from my phone).

This post has been edited by Mamma_mia: 29/12/2012, 01:30 PM

[mrsvee]

I think invite him and be the bigger person esp if you can convince you son to invite him, I know it is hurtful and maybe you can ask her why he wasn't invited as in is it a behaviour thing etc. I have a child who is quite popular but isnt always invited to things and have explained that sometimes there are number limits and parties can be expensive, otherwise maybe ask him to choose two or so close friends and go to a movie and lunch rather than do a whole party thing and then do a cake at the park with the other friends.

[SplashingRainbow...]

I would be encouraging my son to invite him.

Acknowledge his feelings but encourage him to be the bigger person.

[Baggy]

I'd definitely be tempted not to invite him - but I wouldn't want to play in to petty games. If you are going to invite everyone else then invite him too and try not to worry about the party you weren't invited to. Pretend it never happened and just be the bigger person.

Or if your DS really doesn't want him there then maybe have a smaller party with only a couple of friends?

[Sunnycat]

I wouldn't bother inviting him if your DS doesn't want to.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

Don't play her game OP. What she did was incredibly rude and hurtful. Invite the boy. Assuming your son gets along with this boy, I would explain it's rude not to invite everyone in the group.

[LittleRB]

Wouldn't bother inviting him either if your DS has specifically asked.

If it is"very noticeable" when you don't invite this child to your DS' party, it should have been "very noticeable" when he was not invited to the other child's party. Not sure why you didn't even get an explanation if the children/parents are part of a tight knit group.

I understand the not getting an invite part, but the mum could have at least told you why considering you hang out every Friday.

[Phascogale]

As much as you may want to be the bigger person, chances are that if you invite the boy your son will have a miserable time for his birthday.

I'd probably encourage a small party ie 2-3 kids. You can see a movie or just have a special dinner with them.

If you invite the whole class then you probably do need to invite him.

Do you know why your child wasn't invited? Did any of the other mums tell you?

[MrsWidget]

Don't play her game OP. What she did was incredibly rude and hurtful. Invite the boy. Assuming your son gets along with this boy, I would explain it's rude not to invite everyone in the group.

This. Although I do understand how you and DS are feeling.

[beaglebaby]

Your sons birthday isn't for a few months, a lot can change in that time, school will start again and DS will have forgotten about the party and it is quite likely the group dynamic will have changed. Focus on having play dates with children your son likes over the holidays and don't stress about what to do until closer to his birthday.

FWIW for the most part I let my children choose who to invite to their parties, I'll just limit numbers so that there isn't ever just one or two people singled out to miss out.