A couple of days ago we lost a pet (not dead, actually lost). My heart is broken. I cannot compose myself. I randomly burst into tears every 5 minutes.
I blame myself for trusting her not to run away. I blame my pet for not loving us enough to not run away.
My heart breaks every time I see my husband jump on his bike once again to go searching. It also breaks my heart when I hear my DH say he'd happily pay a $1000 reward to get her back. Because dollar wise, she wasn't worth anywhere near that. Value wise, she was irreplaceable.
I look at pictures of her on my phone, I call out her name, and each time my heart breaks a little more.
I look out the window every 2 minutes to see if she's returned. I jump every time the phone rings just hoping that someone has found her. I check Facebook every 2 minutes to see if I have a message. I watch the cars drive past our house and hope that one is stopping to drop her back off to us. And nothing.
Not knowing what happened to her is the worst. I think if I'd found her dead we could grieve her. But not knowing if she's alive, someone has her and isn't handing her back, or if she has infact not made it is so so hard on both me and DH.
And I know people are trying to say the right things, but telling me that 'I'll get over her and get another one in no time' is not what I need to hear right now. To me she could never be replaced.
I hope this pain gets easier with time
Having not been able to have Children so far our pets have been our lives. And it is like a family member has gone.