Crap. My partner is an ass. I am unhappy, because our relationship is sh*t. He claims our relationship is sh*t because I'm unhappy and negative. Some examples he gave are:
- You don't want to talk to the kids or do anything in the morning before you've had a coffee.
- When I wanted to buy the deep cycle battery set up ($1000) for the waeco fridge ($1300) all you said was 'sounds expensive when we don't really camp that much'
- When I wanted to put up a new 5 bay shed and concrete drive way (About 100metres long) all you said was 'How much do you think that will cost'? (I have since tried to discuss this with him but he says there is no point because we can't afford it. And complained that I broached the subject too early in the morning. I should have given him longer to wake up. Hypocrit much?? Umm... I think that is more negative than me asking 'how much?')
- You whinged about going to tweed heads in the rain and wanted to wait till it was fine and you whinged we were taking the Lancer because it's uncomfortable with no air con and wanted to take the ranger which hasn't got as good a stereo and uses more fuel.
- You wouldn't get a stereo ($1100) and canvass for the canopy ($900) put in the Ranger before Christmas. (He has a month off unpaid, I have 5 weeks off unpaid - I said we should wait till we are both back at work. We did get the tray, canopy and lift kit ($5400) though)
- You don't want to even test out a camper trailer that is for sale. You might find you like it if you just give it a try (No, I don't want to test it out, and I'm sure I would like it, but another $5000. Are you ****ing kidding me????)
Granted, it's all true, but to be honest it sounds like any time I don't agree with what he wants to do it's because I'm 'being negative' I think I'm being sensible. And 'cranky' is me enforcing some basic ground rules like the kids cleaning up after themselves. And wanting 15 minutes to have a coffee and wake up each morning now our kids are 7 and 13 is really not unreasonable.
So I told him I'd try be less cranky. Would he like some constructive critism of what he could do to help get the relationship back on track? - No. He has no problems, it's all me. I asked if he really belives that - is he perfect? - Yes, Yes he is.
Prior to this chat he stopped talking to me for a couple of weeks and started sleeping in the lounge room. The day after this talk he bought up the waeco and battery thing again, I didn't want to 'be negative' so now another $1000 is spent.
All year he has been banging on about saving a minimum of $10, 000 and paying the mortgage off in two years - and THAT is why I don't want him spending money on toys - because I do the finances and know the goals he has set are going to be pretty bloody tough to meet if we don't all do without, and when they aren't met it will be my fault because I'm in charge of the finances :-(. It sounds like me and the kids are meant to be the ones making sacrifices, but not him.
He's right, I am being negative, but perhaps he is a big part of the reason.
This post has been edited by ~maryanne~: 04/01/2013, 12:58 PM