[CallMeProtart]

Ok hadn't intended to start a thread on it but I was writing this long reply to the rape case one, and it was a bit of a tangent anyway, and then it was removed when I pressed post, so I thought I'd post it as it's own thread. Mainly because I really want someone to convince me not to feel this way anymore!

Re the case - that's sick. And tbh I'm hearing so much these days about the way women are treated, sexually, worldwide, that it's starting to really affect me.
For ages I've wondered wtf is it about women that makes us, in every culture where there is a gender divide, the downtrodden gender. Surely if we were really 'equal' it would be 50/50? Yes we have less physical strength - but the dominant people in most countries aren't always the physically strongest. And in most physical and mental areas we outshine males - but it's not worth a thing. Sometimes I think it's something to do with reproduction - that we become emotionally and physically vulnerable once we are pregnant and even after we have children, due to our attachment to them (although I can't quite figure out why our attachment to them should be greater than a males). Sometimes I think it's just because we have a hole, that men seem to be absolutely desperate to put their bits in.

But really, I don't know. I just hate it though. I hate that I don't know why, and that I don't understand, and most of all that I can't change it. When I read about the Congo, saw the Sri Lanka killing fields video, and now the case in India, and now this... I'm just so full of disgust for these men. And then it starts to spread to men in general. And it's gotten so bad since the India thing that I'm starting to look at all the men around me suspiciously. Despite all the ones I've heard saying exactly the things I'd hope a man should say... a part of me thinks... ah, but if you'd grown up that way, you'd be one of them. You've been taught better... but for this to be in every society... it must be innate. You've glossed over it - but it's in there. When DH complains about our sex life, a side of me knows it's a legitimate problem, a side of me goes "ah see - you're just like them - it's all about the hole"
I never used to feel this way. I used to feel like I was in a world where yes, there was sexism, just as there is racism and fatism, but nobody is inferior and it's just a matter of combating it where we see it. I always felt equal - even more than equal tbh, I know there are a lot of areas where, on unbiased measurement, women outstrip males... even though it doesn't translate into an equal level of 'real world' success.

But I honestly truly wish I had some explanation for why women are treated this way, to varying extents, worldwide. Yes, crime happens everywhere, yes there are bad people, yes, bad things happen to males too. But this sexualisation - this treatment of a person as if they are just a thing for someone to masturbate into - it's so foul. And, overwhelmingly, it happens much more to women. So much so that in a lot of places in a lot of countries and a lot of male minds, sex is one of the most common first thoughts when looking at a woman. And where an attack on a man might still happen, it doesn't seem to be the case that the logical inclusion is rape - yet it seems to be so with a female.

Probably not expressing myself clearly. But I'd like to find a way to rewrite the way I'm feeling now. It even crossed my mind the other day - and I don't think it has ever crossed my mind before in my life - "what if we really are the inferior sex". And then I realised how easy it is to believe. I had the opposite drummed into me since birth... but lots of people didn't. Many - especially in those cultures - probably feel that they ARE unlucky to be female. And I'm starting to feel that way too.
Because if we aren't an inferior sex - how come there is not some massive uprising and vigilante protest or SOMETHING... that would have put a stop to this behaviour, whenever it happens, wherever it happens, so that men, all over the world, would not think that it was acceptable or that they could get away with it. WHY, if we are at all powerful, hasn't this MASSIVE problem been fixed. Maybe this first world philosophy that we are equal and the politically correct way of thinking, is just play acting at equality. If something went wrong and our country descended into anarchy and chaos... how much of our equality would we keep... how long before we started getting treated like women have been treated in every war ever. Not long - I'd put money on it.

In absolute sincerity, I sometimes wish my child wasn't a girl. This world loathes females and treats them consistently as things for the amusement of men. Even so called privileged women are not worth the spit on a man's boot, when all is said and done.

Yep. I hate thinking like this, but I'm starting to.

ETA. Mods, this should probably be in WDYT but I don't know how to move it...

This post has been edited by CallMeAliG: 06/01/2013, 11:36 PM

[BetteBoop]

It's like you stepped into my head to write this.

I don't fully understand why there is global oppression of women and so much unbridled hatred. What those men in Delhi did to that woman was an act of utter loathing. It had nothing to do with sex. Her male friend walked away from that bus and she's in the ground. They killed her by ****ing her to death. They utterly ripped her apart.

And it happens everywhere in the world including Australia. I was watching a documentary on the hundreds of women who have been raped and murdered in Mexico by gangs of men. Since then, we've had the Jill Meagher case, the Ohio story, the Delhi story, and it's all too much.

The world hasn't changed since I was a kid and now I have a little girl growing up in it having to face it herself. The thought of what can happen terrifies me. I know she has almost no chance of legal protection if it does happen.

I don't know why women aren't angrier. I think it's brain washing. We get so many messages about how feminism has gone too far and women have too many rights. Apparently our natural state is inferiority, so men granting us a semblance of equality is too much.

White supremacists say the global dominance of white men proves their superiority. I think it proves their aggression.

I've often wondered why black men who have been so horrifically abused throughout history haven't risen up. In the 60s there was the Black Panther movement but it didn't really take off.

Like black men, women seem happy to accept the crumbs off of mens' tables, as though it's all they can expect. I feel complete despair most of the time as how few women understand or care about their own lack of equality.

So, as you wondered, perhaps we are in the situation we're in because we deserve no better. I really don't pretend to understand this world.

[Burro]

I hear you. I agree with all of the above but I'm also sick of the inequality in sport and culture. Is there even a women's Tour de France? How is there time, money and interest for test series after test series but no one watches women play cricket. Do women even play sport because I couldn't tell from talking to friends and co workers or watching tv.

I took my DD to a term of soccer but I almost feel like saying to her ' don't wast your time. Nobody cares if you play or watch unless they need your dollars. Even if you we're one of the best in Australia no one would come and watch you play. They don't care if you like their sport, they don't want to hear your banter or see you at the games'.

Why do women invest so heavily in men's sport?

The other thing that's driving me a bit batty at the moment is newsreaders/reporters. I saw one the other day who looked like a work experience girl.

Films. Al about men unless they are a chick flick.

[SCARFACE CLAW]

I understand everything you said in your post OP. I barely read the news anymore because it just makes me depair, especially for my daughter. I dread her finding out about the awful things that happen to women, simply because they are women, and I just hope with all I have that she never experiences any of it first hand. I also hope that we can raise our son to be a wonderful, decent man. That's all we can do to make it better; raise our children the right way, and hope that with each generation it gets better. I don't think it will happen in my lifetime though

[Sunnycat]

I don't know what it is or why it is this way. It's so many things: what a women's role has become, what a women's role is described as, low self esteem, teaching of self worth, cultural expectations of women, sexualisation of everything in our society.

It's really depressing.

[Magnus]

I don't know why women aren't angrier. I think it's brain washing. We get so many messages about how feminism has gone too far and women have too many rights.

I totally agree with this. When I talk to young women and men about women's rights or feminism, or equality, or whatever, many of them get really offended. It's hard to bring up the issues because they think that talking about the issues women face is somehow immediately anti-men (unless we spend at least fifty percent of the discussion talking about the issues facing men).

I think a lot of people don't know the extent of issues such as sexual violence and domestic violence. And then the rates are so high in many places that they then don't believe the statistics. Plus there are so many ways in which women are blamed when these things happen to them.

I think a lot of women aren't angrier because there are a lot of advantages to not being angry. If one is seen as angry or feminist, then it's easier to be stereotyped as bitter and man-hating, then it can make career progression, getting a partner and getting along with others quite difficult. There are a lot of social dividends for women who seem gentle- or whatever the opposite of angry is- and even for women who are very anti-feminist or anti-woman.

[BetteBoop]

Oh and this story came out today too. http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/world/cali...0106-2cax5.html

I was already struggling to process how people could be angry at a teenaged girl who was drugged and gangraped and then I find out that a panel of judges saw fit to overturn a rape conviction not because the bloke didn't do it, but because they found some archaic old legal loophole that suggests unmarried women can't be raped and they seized the opportunity to release another rapist onto the streets.

I have stopped struggling and have accepted a simple truth. People do not care if women are abused by men because on some level they believe men are entitled to treat women this way.

[Sunnycat]

Oh and this story came out today too. http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/world/cali...0106-2cax5.html

I was already struggling to process how people could be angry at a teenaged girl who was drugged and gangraped and then I find out that a panel of judges saw fit to overturn a rape conviction not because the bloke didn't do it, but because they found some archaic old legal loophole that suggests unmarried women can't be raped and they seized the opportunity to release another rapist onto the streets.

I have stopped struggling and have accepted a simple truth. People do not care if women are abused by men because on some level they believe men are entitled to treat women this way.

Do you think it is that they don't care or they feel helpless and like they can't do anything so give up? (genuine question)

I know with friends a lot of them say in general that they don't watch the news or watch shows (like medical dramas) or read the newspaper because it "upsets them". Not saying that they should be reading and investigating every horrific and sad and depressing story that exists, but a lot of people do seem to like to bury their heads in the sand about anything remotely upsetting or off putting.

I read these horrible stories and feel sad but then I don't know what to do. What can we do?

[chello388]

There is a movie called "The Whistleblower". I made my DP sit down and watch it with me and he said "I can't even watch this, this is disgraceful." It's about the treatment of some women forced into sexual slavery by peacekeepers (Read: United Nations).
Anyway what surprises me the moest is that women aren't angrier that lives are being ruined by men that are thinking with a sexual organ. That's not your BRAIN mate, you don't THINK with that thing.
I would love for my female friends to feel the anger that I feel, I know my DP gets sick of hearing me talk about the terrible things happening to women all over the world for the sexual gratification of men.
That said, I want men to be angrier too. If you're a good man, making good decisions, why aren't you angry about these things too?
Recently I realised that I'm a feminist.
I'm happy about it.
I don't hate men, I just love being a free, and responsible woman. I am lucky enough to have control over my own body, and I want that for my neices.

[~~Cleopatra~~]

Oh and this story came out today too. http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/world/cali...0106-2cax5.html

How does that make any kind of sense when you can have anyone charged, including a partner?