[HerringToMarmala...]

Spin off from the baby name thread. Like in the thread, I also have a bit of a dodgy surname that is commonly mispronounced as a not so great word. Even as an adult I hate situations where my name is read out in front of other people. My mother kept her maiden name when she married my dad, and if you ask her why she will say she kept it because dad's surname is terrible, why would anyone want it, etc., and yet she was happy to give it to her children. I can't understand it, but I'm not sure what I would have done in her position.

So what do you think about surname choice? Would you always give your children their father's name no matter what or would you do something else if you felt it wasn't the right name for your children?

[cinnabubble]

I've never heard an adequate reason for children to automatically get their father's names. Regardless of what the name is.

This post has been edited by cinnabubble: 08/01/2013, 02:17 PM

[Apageintime]

My friends DH's surname is Butt, they'll be going with her surname for any children.

DH and I have decided his name for boys, with my surname for a middle name (as its a fairly stock standard boys name) and my surname for a girl, with his surname for her middle name (as her surname is a stock standard girls name).

so no, I don't think you always have to use DHs surname.

[countrymel]

A friend of mine married a man with a dodgy surname, (sounded very similar to an unfortunate word) he changed it to hers.
The irony was that the surname was only one generation old as HIS mother had insisted they change it from the original one which had a pretty bloodthirsty meaning in their original language!

Dodgy surnames are character forming! (says she with the most benign of all surnames!)

That being said I hope to give our children MY surname as DP's is his step dad's and I can't see why my children need to carry on the name of a person I never really met and who's 'line' has already been passed on by his biological children and grandchildren.

[tickledpink72]

It would never occur to me not to give my child his fathers surname.

[PixieVee]

I've never heard an adequate reason for children to automatically get their father's names. Regardless of what the name is.

Exactly.

[cinnabubble]

It would never occur to me not to give my child his fathers surname.

Why?

[mum201]

I still don't understand why kids automatically get dad's surname. My son has my name at the insistence of DH who thought my name was 'more suitable'....,

In an instance where either parent had a surname like 'Hyman' (had a teacher with that name), I would definitely default to the other parent's surname.

[asdf89]

I've told my partner (he thinks I'm joking but I'm deadly serious) that if we were to have a baby before being married it would have my surname.

I birth it - I get to name it .
Plus he has three brothers so his name will go on... but I'm one of three girls. And my last name is much nicer than his haha.

[kuhla]

When I got married I did what I thought was right taking my then husbands name that I didn't really like.

When we separated, I kept his last name because I have no contact with my family so I don't see myself as one of them. 17 years later I am still conscious of the name every time I say it. I feel bad that that's my kids last name but there is nothing to do to change it. That is who they are.

I, now have a new partner and am pregnant with him so my new baby will obviously have his last name - a nice, common and so what boring last name.

On a side note, I never wanted a different surname to my children so before I fell pregnant said even if my DP and I got married I wouldn't change my name to his. Everything changes now I am expecting again.