Well for starters, we chose a young adult rather than a puppy, so she's just a bit older than yours but we just got her recently. We also deliberately sought out one who was calm and low energy, because we knew what we could cope with.
She's still a bit in her chewy stage so we block off the problem area (washing line in her case!) when we are not there, and when we are home we are vigilant with supervision and teaching her what she can and can't chew.
Ours is so low maintenance it isn't funny, but I've fostered some really mental energetic dogs in the past, and we do these things:
Allowed inside in a crate so they can't run amok. Train to go straight to their beds and stay there once inside, then you can remove the crate.
I encourage the kids to spend time with them every day. If they're bored, they get sent out to play with the dogs. If they nag me to watch TV - out with the dogs. If they're fighting - out with the dogs. You get the picture!
Unless it's a stinking hot day and they would be left in the car too long, they come with us when we go out. This helps with socialisation and stops the boredom. It just becomes part of your routine after awhile.
Either DH or I walk them either first thing in the morning or last thing at night while the kids are in bed. Even if it's just a 5 minute spin around the block, it makes a big difference to energy levels.
You sound like you're tempted to chuck it in, OP, in which case you have every reason to feel guilty. Please remember that a large chunk of that dog's personality and behaviour is a reflection on how she's been brought up, and I really hope you can set a good example for your kids by stepping up and working with her, rather than dumping her because it's all too hard
I'm sure the experts will be in soon with some great advice.