[doubting thomas]

Hi everyone
Im kind of desperate so Im looking for ideas to engage and relate with my 15 year old son. He appears to be very "lost" . He has changed friend groups from the one where I knew all the mothers , is failing every subject at school, is rarely home, has lost interest in pretty much everything including sport which he is quite good at. I have tried counselling with no success . Any ideas for sports, outings, games, holidays, even tv shows or dvds that you have found have interested your 15 year old son would be greatly appreciated. At the moment hanging around at the shops seems to be the only thing he likes doing. Help!

[doubting thomas]

Dang. Meant to post this in WdYt

[Chief Pancake Ma...]

I don't know if I can help but a few years back I enrolled in an art class at a communitee college - there was a mother and son doing the class obvioulsy doing it as some sort of bonding activity. The teenage boy was way better than the rest of us and I think benefited from time with his mum and a dozen other adults telling him how awesome he was every week. Is there something he is/was good at that you could do a class in - even if you are terrible?

[doubting thomas]

Thank you thats a good idea. Im now thinking thai food or something. He loves spicy food and used to love cooking. Thanks again

[Therese]

I have moved this for you

[doubting thomas]

thank you

[**Xena**]

How about anime? Sounds weird I know but there are a lot of animes that are for teenagers and I have connected with a lot of teenagers through anime and cosplay. Plus there are a lot of groups and conventions where they can interact and a lot of the cosplayers have made great friends and joined cosplay groups where they get together and do photoshoots

[Charri36]

I have a 16 y/o, who has quite a few issues, it is hard to bond at that age. I find what works for us, is not so much of getting him to do stuff I want to do, but me showing interest in things he does and likes.

Shops - If he hangs at the shops he probably likes take away food. Could you maybe have Mother son dinner lunch dates at a takeaway store? I know it seems lame, but if it's what they like....Something like, "hey, do you want to come with me to Macca's this morning to eat breakfast?"

Can you take him shopping - Like to JB hifi, my son will try and shock me with "hard core bands CD's. So it then becomes a competition on who can find the rankest CD cover.

Getting him into cooking together at home, ask for his help in a good way, eg - "I know your brilliant at peeling potatoes, would you be able to come and give me a hand, as I really need help at the moment".


Does he play games, sit down with him and get him to explain to you how powerful he has made his character etc. Even show a fake interest in playing an easy game with you. A let him laugh at you when he see's how bad you are at it.

Cooking classes sound OK, but if he's hardley ever home, he might find it more of a chore, than a fun time bonding.

How about a quad bike ride (tour) together. If in your area. Or a high ropes type thing. Something like half a day.

hope this helps, Oh, what we found good was games of pool, we even bought a pool table to help. It's been great! You can get some second hand ones cheap from gumtree.

[ubermum]

It sounds to me like he is smoking pot. The 16yo who has moved in with me from another state to kick the pot habit and start fresh agrees. You can't engage with someone on drugs. If that is his issue, sort that out first.

[ImpatientAnna]

It sounds to me like he is smoking pot. The 16yo who has moved in with me from another state to kick the pot habit and start fresh agrees. You can't engage with someone on drugs. If that is his issue, sort that out first.

This is my first thought too. The whole time I was reading the post I was waiting for the next sentence to be about smoking pot.