[JRA]

Ok a bit of a spin off.

We were at the beach again yesterday. I struggle down on crutches, with one boob, and am overweight. The surf was good, so in I went. How can I resist good surf. And then I think, there are so many here on EB who say they wont go to the beach, in a pool, because they are embarrassed by their body. Should I be the same? Should I hide my body because it is not elle's shape. Is that what my 10yo son would prefer?

But then I think, if I had a daughter, would it be the right thing to show her, by example, that unless she had the perfect body she should hide her body so others don't see it at the beach or the pool.

So my question is really. So often we see complaints here about children being body conscious from an early age, but when obviously so many parents are exactly that, how can we expect children to be different, if that is what they see all the time

Just as an aside: I too would love to have a perfect body, but you know what, I know my son would much prefer to have a parent having a ball with him in the surf than hiding away from him.

This post has been edited by JRA: 15/01/2013, 12:24 PM

[Beancat]

Great post, I am with you all the way JRA. Your son would rather have a mother that engages with him than sits on the sand coverd up.

I am about 10kg overweight and pregnant. Yes i would love to be fitter, but you know what, I really dont care, I'd rather play in the surf too.

And you know what, as i have got older i have realised NO ONE is looking at you except you.......everyone is too busy worrying about what everyone else thinks of them

[countrymel]

I love swimming.

I am of the opinion that if other people find my big fat body unpleasant to look at then that is their problem not mine.

Nothing is keeping me out of the water on a hot day. (or a cold day!)


I feel very sorry for people who miss out on the joys of swimming because of their unfounded fears that someone might judge them...

Nobody gives a flying fart what you look like at the beach/pool/river/dam.... just go for it!



I had a friend who raised an eyebrow or two when I was telling her about all the time I had spent in the pool over Christmas - "Didn't you care? Being in your bathers in front of other people?" I said a large and resounding "NO!"

Those 'other people' were my MIL (she has a low opinion of me anyway!), DP - (well ....?) and my BIL (what do I care if my BIL sees my wobbly bits, would it make me less sexually attractive in his eyes? Is that in any way a problem???)

Swim! Swim everyone!

[password123]

I wish I had your confidence. I was born with a very large port wine stain from my bum to my toes on one leg. It has bothered me my whole life and I have tried everything to remove it to no avail.
I will not swim or expose my legs at any time, because when I have people stare and make comments. People can be cruel.

[CFMummy]

This is the 1st year since I was a teenager that I have gone swimming without a tshirt and the the 1st time in 3 years I have been swimming at all. I just shrugged and went oh well as my 2 girls wanted to go. Im a very overweight mum but this is the 1st time I havnt cared

[lozoodle]

I'm definitely of the get in there and not care what others think variety. I do cover up to an extent, but that is simply I now wear a tankini rather than a bikini because I have a lot of stretch marks on my tummy. Other than that I try not to worry what others think because really no one even cares what others look like on the beach, everyone is too busy being worried about themselves anyway.

I'd rather be able to get in there and have fun with my kids than miss out.

I had a few people say "gee you're game going in the water" at the pool the other day simply due to how pregnant I am and the fact that I was with a 2 and 4 year old. But I didn't see the big deal, the kids were having fun, I was hot and the swim was lovely. Win win!

I think everyone has the potential to look good anyway, its just a matter of wearing something that suits your shape and fits you properly.

This post has been edited by lozoodle: 15/01/2013, 12:40 PM

[OneProudMum]

I'm a biggish woman too. I am all for embracing bodies etc. but I just don't understand why some people just don't cover up more. I don't see the need for their overhang to be hanging over their shorts and their bum showing. The same goes for slim women who wear triangle bikinis that barely cover their nipples or an obese man in speedos. It could all be sorted with appropriate clothing!!

This post has been edited by OneProudMum: 15/01/2013, 04:03 PM

[erindiv]

I had a friend who raised an eyebrow or two when I was telling her about all the time I had spent in the pool over Christmas - "Didn't you care? Being in your bathers in front of other people?"

What a b***h!


I wish I had the confidence of you girls. I put on my bathers when we were camping a couple of weeks ago and cried because even though I've lost weight, it's all off my chest and I had these big empty cups. I felt horrid and immediately changed back into my clothes and sat on the riverbank.

As I sat there feeling sorry for myself, a campmate emerged from her tent in a bright floral bikini that barely contained her chest. Every single male in the vicinity couldn't look away. Later that evening I turned to DBF and declared I wanted to go get the fat taken out of my thighs and put into my boobs

[Spotted Giraffe]

I agree totally. My body has seen better days after having several kids. But my biggest fault is being a bit slack with waxing my legs. And it really does not bother me to go out with furry legs. Swimming is fun and a good way to keep fit. I try hard not to put any body issues onto my kids.

[Tigerdog]

I'm with you JRA, frankly since I had kids I haven't given a fig about what my body looks like (aside from potential health implications) and now that I'm single again I still have that outlook, if people can't accept me for who I am rather than what I look like, then too bad!