[ubermum]

We have a wedding coming up for a fairly close member of the family. This will be the person's second wedding (new partner) in the last 5 years. Yes, it's a wishing well, complete with tacky poem and presence and presents used in the wording. Would you give less than the first time you attended the wedding of the person?

[JRA]

I don't believe in people asking for presents for their second wedding. Shoot me.

But as they want money/presents, I would not reduce what I would give because it is a second wedding.

[mpjp]

Gee I dont know what I would do....but for my second wedding we specificed no gifts with that other well used poen "your presence is present enough"!!!

It felt way too cheeky to expect any sort of gift when we were well established, houses, kids, and both of us in a 2nd wedding....especially when for each of us many of the guests went to our respective first weddings!!!

[PixieVee]

No I wouldn't give less! I find that so weird to be honest.

Anyway, I still hate those effing poems. If anything give less for the poem.

[starsg]

it would depend how much I gave the first time, and also are the couple trying to establish themselves? or do they already have all the homewares etc. If I didn't give a huge amount the first time (say $100 or so) I would probably give the same. if I had given more (say 300 plus) the first time I would think about giving less simply because they are less likely to need as much as a first time married couple.

[luke's mummu]

Yes, generally a bit less, but the 2 second weddings we have been to (both first and second) have been a bit smaller. My brother has been engaged twice and no I didn't spend less on the engagement present the 2nd time round. I knew he had given away/lost most of the presents from his first engagement and it just somehow didn't seem right to me.

I guess it depends how close you are to the person.

This post has been edited by luke's mummu: 15/01/2013, 07:50 PM

[Apageintime]

Depends on the circumstances, like how far apart the weddings were, my acquaintance who got married twice in 2 years definitely got less 2nd time around.

I generally thought presents weren't the 'done' thing at second weddings anyway...

[Beancat]

I probably wouldnt. They still have costs to put on the wedding and they are starting their own life story together so it would be nice for them to get somthing form the wishing well money that they like and can call their own.

FWIW I am in my second serious r/s. The first one I was married no kids, this one our third kid is on the way and we have our own house. We still had to set the house up with "our" stuff which has taken 5 years and I would like a gift that was about us. Also if we got married it would be DPs first wedding adn I would not like him to miss out just becuase I had been married before

[JustBeige]

Depends on how close I am to the person / couple getting married.
Depends on whether the first lot of gifts was appreciated or given to the charity bins.
Depends on whether I view the person / couple as money grubbing so and so's


Depends on lots of things.

Its not automatic that because its the 2nd wedding they get less.

This post has been edited by JustBeige: 15/01/2013, 07:56 PM

[vanessa71]

I have never been to a second wedding, looks like all my friends have done well so far.

I would spend the same amount as I would for any wedding, I would not reduce the amount just because it was a person's second wedding. I would most likely contribute a present rather than cash to a wishing well though.