[purpleblackqueen]

I am so over this "Whatever" attitude that is coming out of my 11yr old, everything seems to go in one ear and out the other. She has an "I dont care" mentality, which is coming out more of late.

She has currently had her new IPOD convisgated and is close to losing her sleepover party tomorrow night.

I know she has had a rough year, but still that is no excuse and I am no longer going to put up with it.

Are your kids the same? How do you deal with it?

[mitty82]

hey purpleblackqueen,
yes my daughter was like that, and we just did what you are doing. The whole take away their currency etc, you will learn what that is by the biggest reaction when you take something away from them. It took nearly over a year and a half for it to settle down and it settled down after a very explosive tanty. She told us she didnt want to live at our house and never wanted to be in our family. My husband who is normally the most patient of all told her the door is there and the suitcase is under our bed. It was late at night and she said no it is too dark and instantly she knew that she had hit that point of oh crap.
She may be pushing you if you are feeling vunerable or the discipline has slipped. I know sometimes we get a bit complacent everynow and then. Then the kids behaviour gets worse.
At the moment it is our 4 yr old who I swear is going through the terrible twos all over again.

[~THE~MAGICIAN~]

My 11yo DD is pretty good most of the time, so no advice really. But as you said she has had a BIG year, bigger than most of us might have in our entire life, cut her some slack, spend more time with her doing fun things especially when Jackson goes to bed, cut right back on your housework lists and really really turn it around to spend quality time with those kids. It really is the best thing you could ever do.

[FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...]

My son could be your daughter (also 11).

We're in the same boat; doing what you are. The most important thing I think, is to follow through with consequences. It seems to be a bit of testing the waters with DS - like he wants confirmation that we'll do what we threaten, IYKWIM?

So much of what you post about H seems totally age-appropriate, you're doing a good job!

[FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...]

Double post


This post has been edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog: 17/01/2013, 05:27 PM

[kadoodle]

My almost 11 yo DD is like this. She's rude, snarky and a complete smart a*se when she wants to be. I come close to wringing her neck some days. Last night I lost my temper completely and tore her a new one before hustling her into bed. I feel really weak - I mean, I'm the adult FFS, I should be able to be zen with the kind of rude that I used to dish out to my parents - not to mention guilty. I should be providing a safe environment for her to grow and develop her personality, not flay her when it gets too much.

I hope someone gives you a good answer, OP, because I have NFI

[miinii]

My 11yo DD is pretty good most of the time, so no advice really. But as you said she has had a BIG year, bigger than most of us might have in our entire life, cut her some slack, spend more time with her doing fun things especially when Jackson goes to bed, cut right back on your housework lists and really really turn it around to spend quality time with those kids. It really is the best thing you could ever do.

agree 100%

[purpleblackqueen]

My 11yo DD is pretty good most of the time, so no advice really. But as you said she has had a BIG year, bigger than most of us might have in our entire life, cut her some slack, spend more time with her doing fun things especially when Jackson goes to bed, cut right back on your housework lists and really really turn it around to spend quality time with those kids. It really is the best thing you could ever do.

I spend quality time with the kids at night, reading stories, watching movies, talking, playing games, going for walks, paint nails etc etc

[~Elphaba~]

Ahh, I see your problem. What you got there is a pre teen!

If it is any consolation, the stage doesn't last forever. My girl is now almost 17 and is an absolute delight to be around. She has been for a few years now. But between 12 and 14, well, lets just say that's when we (us and her father/stepmother) coined the term "Princess Bi*chface".

I can't think of anything to help that you aren't already doing. Just stick with it and keep telling yourself "this too shall pass".

This post has been edited by ~Elphaba~: 17/01/2013, 07:43 PM

[howdo]

Yep, you just have to ride this one out ...