It's DS' 3rd birthday next weekend, and we're having a relaxed party with the nearby cousins, aunties/uncles, grandparents - should be a fun morning, and DS is really looking forward to his slip 'n' slide party
There'll be 4 cousins attending, who are 2 sets of siblings. We're all a pretty close extended family (for this side of family anyway) so see eachother for every child's birthday, and for half/most of the adults' birthdays. Recently, a precedent appears to have been set by the grandparents that all the kids get a turn in blowing out the candles on the birthday cake. This means, the candles are re-lit and each child blows out the candles and get a clap/yay etc. This has come about as set of siblings has gotten upset about not blowing out the candles on their dad's birthday cake. These kids are 2.5 and 4.5. The 2.5 yr old basically burst into tears, was inconsolable and got rallied around by her parents and grandparents, then the candle re-lighting began, and has continued for a couple of birthdays beyond their dad's. You can probably tell from my tone, I think this is an OTT reaction in dealing with an essentially tantruming child. The same way I think it's OTT to give every child a prize, and to give a child a gift on their siblings' birthday...
During a random planning chat about DS' birthday, the jist of a conversation was:
me: do you think family are going to expect that we re-light the candles for each child?
DH: yes, probably.
Me: how do you want to handle it?
DH: well there's not much we can do without explicitly telling them that we're only lighting the candles for DS, so I guess we re-light the candles
Me: we could just gloss over it - sing the song, DS blow out the candles and cut the cake and if the cousins start to protest about not getting a turn well, it's up to *their parents* to deal with them...
A discussion followed with DH not wanting to say no to family but with me saying I think it's a good lesson in teaching kids that there is joy to be had in celebrating someone else's milestone and some occasion are about other people and that's ok.
So, am I being petty? Do you think we should re-light the candles for each child? Or is it ok to want to make the 5 second ritual for the birthday child only?
p.s. warned you it was fluffy...