[FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...]

I'll preface this "what would you do" with a "it's not my child".

My son has a mate over (just 12), who has spent time at a river shack on the weekend. He went with a relative, the relative's partner and their kids. I believe those kids are 13. My son's friend's mum is my very close friend, not that its really relevant!

So the boys are catching up now, and I'm in the room hearing DS' best friend tell his story. Aaaanyway, mate just recounted they dared each other to cross the river (approx 100m) at 4am when the adults were asleep. I asked was whether they had life jackets on (to which he told me, yes).

What would you do/ think/ say? Would you expect the boys to be punished, told off or would you put it down to normal risk-taking? I am really mortified and if it was my son, there would be serious consequences.

Without wanting to re-ignite a helicoptering debate, just wondering about some other's thoughts.

[FreeRangeMum]

Tough one, it does sound like normal teenage risk taking to me, but as for whether I'd say anything to the mother. Not sure.

[UpTheDuff78]

If I was the mother I would want to know

[JustBeige]

Im talking about my relationship with my bff and how she parents.

If I knew that information and she found out and found out that I knew and didnt tell her she would kill me.

In my relationship, I would definitely tell and I know she would tell me.

Not to get the kids into trouble - though they should be, but so it can be addressed with the relative.

The only problem I would have is not letting on that it came via my child. I would ask that my friend stress that I heard the tale, not that my child told me.

I wouldnt want any problems with their friendship

[Tigerdog]

Definitely tell the parents - a huge safety issue, why anyone would countenance doing anything different is beyond me! Issues about the nature of my friendship with the parents wouldn't even come into it!

This post has been edited by Tigerdog: 21/01/2013, 03:08 PM

[FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...]

I'm not worried about our friendship, but I have a feeling she'll think I'm overreacting, or interfering.

I am going to tell my friend, that wasn't in doubt - I guess I wasn't wondering what to do, rather what others would do.

[opethmum]

I would not say anything, who know they could have been talking themselves up or exaggerating about their feats. I would put it down to boy will be boys and move on. Not worth it in my opinion.

[FreeRangeMum]

I would not say anything, who know they could have been talking themselves up or exaggerating about their feats. I would put it down to boy will be boys and move on. Not worth it in my opinion.

That's what I was thinking but unable to verbalise it above lol!

[UpTheDuff78]

Not worth it? What if he is doing it and he drowns next time? At least by letting the parent know they can talk to their son about it. Imagine waking up to see your sons bed empty and not having a clue where he is or where to look and then finding out he drowned and people knew he was engaging in that risky behaviour but never said anything because "boys will be boys."

[FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...]

Yes, it could all be a tall tale - and for all I know, it may be no secret and the adults know anyway.

Maybe I'm really fearful of all the antics I have seen these holidays with this age group, lol!