[LibertyLady]

Looking for opinions on this scenario.

You're at a funeral for your grandmother. A family member gets up a does a speech and while that is going on a 2 year old wanders around (the speakers child). He shakes a stand that the candle is on, and walks around touching things. Although he wasn't noisy disruptive he was disruptive in the sense of touching things and took the attention away for the person giving the eulogy as everyone was watching this child.

The child proceeds to walk up to were the coffin is and tries to take a stuff toy that was the grandmothers favourite.

The father continues reading his eulogy and the mother is still sitting with her other child (4 year old) which is climbing over chairs and carrying on. Prior to the child going to the coffin and wanting to take the teddy, he was also climbing over the seats during the service and disturbing the people behind them.

A family member goes up to the child at the coffin and takes his hand and walks him back to his mother, and tells her "control him".

Was this person out of line? or should the parent, either father or mother, have made sure the child wasn't wondering around trying to take things during the service? or is ok and considered cute when children do this?

[Niamh23]

Looking for opinions on this scenario.

You're at a funeral for your grandmother. A family member gets up a does a speech and while that is going on a 2 year old wanders around (the speakers child). He shakes a stand that the candle is on, and walks around touching things. Although he wasn't noisy disruptive he was disruptive in the sense of touching things and took the attention away for the person giving the eulogy as everyone was watching this child.

The child proceeds to walk up to were the coffin is and tries to take a stuff toy that was the grandmothers favourite.

The father continues reading his eulogy and the mother is still sitting with her other child (4 year old) which is climbing over chairs and carrying on. Prior to the child going to the coffin and wanting to take the teddy, he was also climbing over the seats during the service and disturbing the people behind them.

A family member goes up to the child at the coffin and takes his hand and walks him back to his mother, and tells her "control him".

Was this person out of line? or should the parent, either father or mother, have made sure the child wasn't wondering around trying to take things during the service? or is ok and considered cute when children do this?

I would be livid if it was my family member's funeral. The children should have been left with a babysitter, or taken outside.

[~*Twilight~Zone*...]

Parents should have been watching their children. If they were unable to for whatever reason they should have arranged for someone to help them.

I've taken my kids to funerals when they were very young (including ones of close family members) and I have always stood towards the back so I can move away if I have too. It's just common courtesy in my book.

[Peppery]

I think the mother should have taken the children outside.

I think the mother should have taken the children outside.

[Bacongirl]

Was this person out of line? or should the parent, either father or mother, have made sure the child wasn't wondering around trying to take things during the service? or is ok and considered cute when children do this?

Was person out of line? NO
Should parent have controlled child? YES
Is it cute? NO Wouldn't be cute in any circumstance, whether it was a wedding, funeral or friend's 30th.


I'd be appalled if this happened at a funeral I attended and I probably would have had a word with the parents earlier when the children were climbing over the chairs.

No amount of grief excuses the parents from controlling their children.

[Saecularis Angel...]

Was this person out of line? or should the parent, either father or mother, have made sure the child wasn't wondering around trying to take things during the service? or is ok and considered cute when children do this?

No, I think the person was quite within their rights, considering. Funerals are one of the few places I'd have zero tolerance for poor behaviour; people are grieving. Child should be taken out if he can't behave.

[Apageintime]

Not on at all.

At a funeral I went to years ago a friends baby was giggling ad squealing the whole way through. Too young to be there, other people are trying to grieve and shouldn't be annoyed whilst doing so. It's the only place I do not think it's every appropriate to 'let kids be kids'

[secret~sammy]

The closer to the deceased they are, the more tolerant I am of the behavior of children at funerals.

e.g. Child walking up onto stage, Dad pausing for a moment and picking up kid and continuing the eulogy babe in arms - I'm fine.

Child 'playing' with candles and coffins - I'm not, .

[aussiespecial123]

When its my time for a funeral l would rather have kids giglgling and running around then no kids at all and sombre. for all u know the deceased may have made a request for the kids to be there

[in(s)ane]

If the little one was family to the deceased, I would have expected one of their relatives (cousin/aunt/etc) or a close family friend to help hold him whilst his father spoke.

Sometimes people lose their wits at these things and I would cut the parents some slack. Should the wife have effectively walked out on supporting her husband during his speech? Honestly, some adults should have stepped in to help, and not passed judgement.

Not everyone has childcare to attend funerals and allowances should be made for small family members.

Fwiw, DS was just 2 when DD died. We sent him to preschool as normal the day of her funeral, he needed a bit of normal and we needed to not have distractions. Other people brought their kids to her funeral and I noticed nothing throughout the service.

If the child was some random strangers kid or grandchild I can understand why closer family members might have been upset. If the child wasn't related or close to the deceased (doesn't sound like this instance) they should have been taken outside