[Domestic Goddess]

I just want to know if I was over reacting or not.

A big well known restaurant. It's very family friendly with a playground and permanent jumping castle, Play Station 2's, little cinema, etc.
I take DS there once a month for lunch if I can afford a small kids meal for him. He loves the jumping castle and always has a ball when we're at that restaurant.
Today, unfortunately, things didn't go so well.

A 7yo girl went onto the jumping castle with her skipping rope. Her parents were sitting at the back of the restaurant and could not see/care what she was upto.
I was sitting at the front so I could keep an eye on everything. I just turned around to ask the waitress for some water when I heard DS crying out a heartbreaking cry. The kind that you instantly know he's really hurt.
I got up and asked what happened. Another little boy said that the girl had scratched DS.
I asked the girl why on earth she did that. "He tried to grab my skipping rope". The other little boy said that the girl had been throwing the rope around and it had hit DS and him in the face. So I assume that DS tried to grab it before she hurt him again.
I told her that he's only 3 and was probably trying to defend himself. Plus skipping ropes don't belong on jumping castles.
"SO WHAT?! IM 7! HE SHOULD NOT TOUCH MY ROPE!!!!"
"Well, can you at least say sorry? He's got blood on his ear, neck and cheek".
"IM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER! I DONT LISTEN TO YOU" *Sticks fingers in her ears and starts to do the "na nananana* sing song cr@p.
I asked her where her mother was, but ofcourse I got ignored.

So I kept watching her and soon found out who her parents were. I walked upto them and asked if they could get their daughter to apologize. Her mum looked at me and said: "Sorry!".
Yet the girl said it wasn't her fault so she was not going to say sorry. Mum just shrugged and dad said: "Ohhhh he's a big boy! He's tough and will get over it!"

Anyway, I sat down thinking nothing will happen anymore and I can eat my lunch now. Yeah right!
Im watching the girl getting back onto the jumping castle. She immediately gets in DS's face and hits him. He hits her back and she hits him again. I witnessed the whole event and jumped up to talk to her.
She said DS hit her first, yet she wasn't going to get away with it that easy as I saw the whole thing happening and I told her this.
She yelled: " I TOLD YOU IM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER. IM NOT LISTENING TO YOU SO GO AWAY!"
I thought to myself she was lucky to not be my daughter because she would've been in serious trouble right there and then.
So I went to the mother and asked her to please try and keep her daughter away from DS and I would try to keep DS away from her daughter. Mum gets up and tells her daughter to not hit again. That was that.

*SIGH* I didn't want her to hurt him again, so I spent the next hour running after DS making sure he didn't get near that little girl again. She seemed to be carrying a grudge, even though she did not even get into much trouble with her parents for scratching and hitting DS.
I considered leaving the restaurant, but DS nor I had finished our lunch yet and I didn't think it was fair for him to have his fun cut short while he isn't to blame.

Other people saw what had happened and saw the scratches on DS's face and they all reckoned I should tell the manager. Well, all he did was give me alcohol wipes and I can't blame him. He isn't the parent, so what can HE do about it?

This whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth. How would YOU handle a situation like this when your child is the victim? How would YOU handle a situation like this when your child is the instigator?

I know kids will be kids and so I usually let things slide, but this wasn't a little scratch. Plus the girl was twice his size and profoundly refused to apologize and also had a very big mouth
Do you think I overreacted? Should I have just let it slide with the "kids will be kids" motto instead of speaking to the parents?

When I see/hear DS pushing, hitting or just hurting another child, I make him apologize first and then he gets a stern talking to followed by "time out" which is the closest chair I can find. I then look for the parent and apologize for my son's behaviour as I know he can get a bit carried away just like any other child.

[EssentialBludger]

Wow, I'd be mortified if that were my daughter. A 7yo should know right from wrong. My 8yo wouldn't dream of hitting anyone, let alone someone half her size.

It sounds like she probably hasn't had any good role models. What sh*t parents. If she were mine, I would have removed her immediately and she wouldn't have been able to play again.

Your poor boy.

[littleboysmum]

I would have been annoyed and upset too OP. Some people do not raise their children to have manners at all. In saying that I would probably have left.

I would have been annoyed and upset too OP. Some people do not raise their children to have manners at all. In saying that I would probably have left.

[FluffyOscar]

I wonder what would have happened if you had asked them for their details so you could send them a bill for a check-up at the doctor for the injury. I would've asked them just to see how the parents reacted.

[Splodge83]

I have a 7 y/o daughter and if she behaved that way I would be absolutely mortified! She would have been made to apologise absolutely, to your son and to you for being so rude. There is no way she would have been allowed to get away with that.

I would not have let her on the bouncy castle with a skipping rope to begin with, that in itself is odd. I also have a zero tolerance to bullying and a 7 y/o doing that to a 3 y/o, she would have been told to apologise and then removed from the area. Not for time out removed completely until the next visit. At 7 she is old enough to know right from wrong and certainly old enough to know not to hit/scratch a 3 y/o child.

Your poor boy. I hope you are both ok.

This post has been edited by Splodge83: 24/01/2013, 03:40 PM

[baddmammajamma]

Wow, I'd be mortified if that were my daughter. A 7yo should know right from wrong. My 8yo wouldn't dream of hitting anyone, let alone someone half her size [unless it was her brother].

It sounds like she probably hasn't had any good role models. What sh*t parents. If she were mine, I would have removed her immediately and she wouldn't have been able to play again.

Your poor boy.

Agree with everything EB said above (with my modification in bold). I'm sorry that your little guy was hurt, and I feel even more sorry for the trajectory that little girl is on. Can you imagine what that type of behaviour looks like at 12 and 13?! Poor girl!

[~sydblue~]

I would have been demanding my money for the unfinished meals back, and then leaving.
The restaurant were quite within their rights to tell the girls family to take her elsewhere. We used to go to a place with the same sort of setup, and they would ban kids from the kids area for bad behaviour.

[FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...]

That's a "find the parent" moment. Most 7 year olds aren't like that (my DD7 would only hit her brother who is twice the size of her - which she's disciplined for, mind you).

Little Madame will no doubt get her comeuppance one day, and I'm sure her parents will wonder where it all went wrong!

What a little snot!



This post has been edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog: 24/01/2013, 04:20 PM

[Bathsheba52]

I would have tied her up in skipping rope and rolled her over to her parents and said "whoops, she seems to be tangled up." If the child accuses you, just deny, deny, deny (two can play!). I don't get invited out much.

[mad madam mim]

If it was my child that was hurt, I probably would have done exactly what you did, if it was my child hurting another, they would have had a stern talking to, told to say sorry and why they are sorry (I find having them say why they are sorry helps them understand why it is not nice to hit/tease etc), we then would have left straight away, I do not reward bad behaviour (that skipping rope would also be binned).

The manager could have told the parents to keep their daughter within sight at all times or to leave the restaurant, insisted on no toys on the bouncy castle etc. I don't think they did enough in your circumstances.